Hair

HAIR

Here are some general guidelines for your hair on the big day. A lot depends on what type of hair you have, fine, course, thick, thin, straight, curly, short, long, etc. The other factor in determining how to do your hair is what type of headpiece or veil you plan to wear. Look through bridal magazines and cut out the hairstyles you like. This will help you and your stylist later.

There are a variety of hair styles from which to choose. Some include:

• Natural - just leave it pretty much the way you always look. If you have long hair, leave it long (not put up). You can curl it, decorate it, etc., but it basically stays natural. This is probably the easiest and least expensive method.
• Bun - which is basically a ponytail wrapped around itself, usually at the top of your head.
• Chignon - a tight knot at the base of the head. This style can be a wound braid or many braids, or a plain, ungathered ponytail. A chignon works well with almost any type of hair.
• French Braid - a three stranded braid woven close to the head. Very good for fluffy, out-of-control hair.
• French Twist - winding up all of your hair sideways and fastening it. This lends itself to a variety of beautiful hair accessories.
• Petal Curls - many smooth folds of hair on top or at the back of the head.
• Updo - pretty much any upswept look. Generally there are loose tendrils of hair framing the face.

Natural

Chignon

Updo

Updo

In general, thick, course hair stays up the best and thin, fine hair may be better with the front up and the back down. To put hair up and have it stay, it is better to start with dry, slightly dirty hair. This is because it will have more texture. It is recommended to wash it the night before the wedding day rather than the morning of.

If you want to wear your hair up, but it is a little short, start growing it now (or at least six months before the wedding). Hair grows at about one-half inch per month. But, it is not a good idea to just grow it for the wedding and then cut it off right after. It's better to be yourself.

If you have colored, permed, or treated hair, have it done at least two weeks before the wedding. This will give your hair a chance to relax a bit and also you will have time to fix it if need be. For the same reasons, you should get a trim two weeks before the wedding.

If you are undecided on what to do with your hair, wearing it up will generally keep it the way you want longer and it keeps your hair from hiding the neckline of your dress. Tall women can wear curls any length. Shorter women probably will look better with longer curls - that is not too short. Curls one inch below the shoulder is safe.

The best advice is to keep your hair healthy and shiny and as natural as possible. A good conditioner can help, especially for dry or curly hair. Also keep curling iron use to a minimum as this can dry out your hair. This is true in general, not just for your wedding day.

If you are planning to have a stylist do your hair, have a practice run long before the wedding. This will give you time to try out a number of stylists and you may find that what you thought you would like, just isn't "you". Or that hair tightly bound will give you a headache after a few hours. It is a good idea to have your headpiece/veil along to see how it works with your hair style. And, don't go too trendy. You don't want to look at your pictures later and be disappointed.

Plan on at least 2-3 hours for your hair and makeup; more if all your bridesmaid's hair are done by the same person. And, if the same person is doing your bridesmaids hair, do yours last, so it will look the freshest for the ceremony and pictures.

Headpieces/Veils

First, a look at the different types of headpieces and then the variety of veils. Then we'll discuss how these affect your hair style. Whatever you decide on, make sure it is comfortable and that you can turn your head and bend over and dance without it falling off. If you choose a hat with a brim, be sure the groom can easily kiss you. Hats work best with low chignons, lose and flowing styles or sleek, short hair cuts. They may be most appropriate for informal, outdoor, daytime weddings.

• Bow - usually positioned at the back of your head and is often flower trimmed. It is generally made of lace or satin.
• Combs or Barrettes - usually pearl-encrusted or decorated.
• Coronet - a wreath resting high on the crown of your head.
• Floral Wreath - a circlet of flowers which can nestle on top of your head or at your mid-forehead.
• Garden Hat - a crownless hat, usually made of horsehair, trimmed with flowers and ribbons.
• Half Hat - a small hat covering half, or less than half, of your crown.
• Headband - a raised hairband, decorated and ornamented.
• Juliet Cap - a small cap, ornately festooned with pearls and jewels, that snugly hugs your crown.
• Mantilla - a fine-lace trimmed netting usually secured to an elegant comb, gently framing your face.
• Picture Hat - ornamented hat with a very large brim. You can also tilt this hat to one side with the brim up.
• Profile - silk flowers with pearl sprays and crystals secured on a comb. It's worn asymmetrically on one side of your head.
• Tiara - crown, usually encrusted with crystals, pearls, rhinestones, or lace, resting high atop your head.
• Toque - small close fitting hat without a brim.

Except for the Mantilla and perhaps the Picture Hat, veiling is usually attached to all of these headpieces. Most veils are made of nylon material called illusion. Decorations often include poufs, which are small gathers of veiling on the crown of a headpiece. Often times the veil will have an edging around the outside of satin or silk. Wreaths often have flowing ribbons called streamers tied into "love knots". Some veil types include:

• Ballet-Length or Waltz-Length - falling to the ankles.
• Birdcage - falling just below your chin, gently shirred at the sides and usually attached to hats.
• Blusher - loose veil worn forward over your face and after the ceremony is turned back over the headpiece. It is often attached to a longer, three-tiered veil.
• Cathedral-Length - cascading at least 3 1/2 yards from the headpiece and it is usually worn with a cathedral train.
• Chapel-Length - cascading 2 1/3 yards from the headpiece.
• Fingertip - this is the most popular length and it has several layers that touch your fingertips.
• Fly-Away - has multiple layers that brush the shoulders and is usually worn with an informal, ankle-length dress or a style with details in back.

You will want to build your hair around your headpiece. Consider what your hair will look like if you want to take off your headpiece or veil during the reception. This will also determine how they are fastened into your hair. Hairstyle will also vary depending on where the headpiece/veil will sit on your head. The formality of your gown should also dictate your hairstyle.

If you have fine hair or straight hair, use finer combs on your headpiece. The bridal store can replace wide tooth combs with fine. Or, go with a headpiece that can be easily secured. A smaller headpiece may be better. For thin hair, consider sewn in extensions and hairpieces for more body. If you do this, the headpiece can be attached to it for a solid feel. Wavy, curly hair can use wide tooth combs, bobby pins, barrettes, etc. If you have thick hair, consider a larger headpiece, so it won't get lost in your hair. Keep proportion in mind.

Considering flowers for your hair? Fresh flowers add dimension and texture. Avoid fake flowers. Flowers may be braided into the hair, pinned in, used as a wreath around your whole head, attached to the veil or even used instead of a veil. This is particularly a good idea if it's a second marriage. Most florists can provide fresh flowers for your hair and even craft the whole headpiece. Getting the flowers from your florist will ensure that they match your bouquet. Also, your hair stylist can integrate flowers when doing your hair. Don't put flowers in your hair too early on the wedding day, as you want them to look as fresh as possible. It is generally best to pick, small, hardy flowers like roses, orchids, daisies, stephanotises, narcissus, etc. Avoid bulb flowers like tulips or daffodils, because they wilt quickly. Accents of greens may also be included. Your florist is a good resource on what types of flowers would make good hair accessories. Be sure you or your gro om are not allergic to the flowers and that you both will like the scent of them.

If you are wearing a veil and flowers, first attach the headpiece and veil to your head and then add the flowers. If your florist individually wraps the flowers first with wire and tape, they will last longer on the headpiece.

Number of Guests

I spoke with my mother last night about decreasing the number of people and she had a huge problem with it. Is there anyway I could do something to calm her down?

Hosting a wedding can be a stressful time for everyone involved, particularly those who do most of the planning work. If your mother is paying for the wedding and reception, then she should be aware of the cost of each additional guest. If you are paying, then you have the final say on how many people you can afford. The number of guests you can invite may also be determined by the reception site (the size of the room & seating capacity). There are generally more people you would like to invite than are feasible to actually invite. Making A and B lists may help. As the A list of people RSVP "no" you can add more of the B list. A list people are those who you absolutely want to come - close relatives and close friends and the B list are those who it would be nice to invite, but realistically you can't invite everyone. They could be business associates, neighbors, distant relatives, etc. Maybe by adding your guest list to EZ Wedding Planner, you and your mother (and the groom's side) can come to an agreement on who should be invited. Having just gone through three weddings of our children, we understand this is a hard issue to deal with. Bottom line, it's your wedding and you should have the final say on who is invited (but if your mom is paying, let her add people, room permitting).

Guest Book

Where can I see and purchase a guest book that has pages for guests to write a note to the bride and groom?

Many stores sell wedding guest books. Bridal shops, stationery stores, department stores, as well as mass merchants like Target or Wal-Mart should have a variety of guest books. You could also try book stores like Barnes and Noble or Borders or vendors who sell invitations and accessories. And, many of the EZ Wedding Planner Sponsors sell guest books. You will probably just have to shop around to find one you like.

Guest Book

THE GUEST BOOK

The guest book is a special way of preserving the names of those friends and relatives who shared your wedding day with you. Guests can also add notes of congratulations and happiness. It's a lovely keepsake to look through as the anniversaries go by.

Guest books can be purchased at any stationery or department store, or ordered through the mail. You may wish to choose a book just for guests, or a wedding memory book with a guest section. You may also want your names and the wedding date embossed on the front cover. Guest books come in many different sizes – from the standard eight and one-half inches by eleven-inches to rectangles ranging from tall and thin to short and wide. White or cream-colored pages are probably your best choice.

The guest book should be set in a prominent place to make sure that your guests will see it and sign it. It can be set out before the wedding ceremony (like in the entrance area of the church) and then brought to the reception site. This way guests who may not go to the reception will have a chance to sign the guest book. Most commonly, the guests will sign the book before or during the reception. It is suggested that you place your guest book on a nicely decorated small table near the entrance to the reception hall or at the end of the receiving line at the reception site. You may wish to designate a teen-age friend or cousin to be the guest book attendant. Your helper could direct guests to sign the book, or he/she may circulate among them to be sure everyone signs the books. It is a good idea to have a matching pen attached to the book, or on the table. Many brides decorate the pen with ribbon, so nobody accidentally walks off with it.

Also, if you choose a wedding memory book you will have space to collect mementos such as snapshots, newspaper clippings, etc. Make it a fun "scrapbook" to remember for a lifetime!

Both Use Program

Hi.. I am the groom in this wedding.. is it possible for both of us to use EZWeddingPlanner from each of our locations, so the changes we make will appear on the same plan? Like to have a double login for the same account?

Yes you can use the same login and make changes. It is best to avoid simultaneous entry and we suggest you coordinate the times you are in the program by email.

One of the great benefits of EZWeddingPlanner is that different people involved can enter guests, etc. from different locations. We had a wedding of our own on the east coast, and had people from the west, midwest and east all entering names and addresses.

Groomsmen Clothes

Do the groomsmen have to match the groom?

No, they don't have to match the groom. Some people have them wear the same tux but with different ties and cummerbunds or different colored shirt, etc. Some have groomsmen in black or navy and the groom in white tux, Some just have everyone wear suits and some match and some don't. It's really up to you and your fiancé on what you want and what your groomsmen can afford.

Groom's Mother's Expenses

What does the Grooms mother have to buy (flowers, etc...)

There aren't any hard and fast rules as to what she must buy. At the least, she would buy her own dress or clothing to wear to the wedding. Generally, the groom's family also hosts/pays for the rehearsal dinner. In EZWeddingPlanner Advice (top menu bar) there are lots of topics including Paying for Expenses.

Also look in Budget, where you can track what's to be bought and who's paying for it, etc. All these items are changeable, so you can fit it to your situation. Much depends on who can best afford to pay and how much everyone wants to contribute to the wedding. Noone should go broke paying for a wedding because it's "expected".

Going Away Wedding

What would be some of the advantages and disadvantages of going away to get married? I am interested in taking parents and a couple of close friends along.

One advantage is that you can then spend some time after the wedding at your destination and have a honeymoon with the same trip. And a small, intimate wedding lets you spend lots of time with a select group of people, instead of a large crowd where you may not get to spend time with each guest. One downside may be that you can't include everyone you would like. But, you can always have another reception back home, after the fact, to include other guests who did not travel with you.

Be sure you check local requirements (for example France has a forty-day residency requirement prior to the wedding.) If it is outside the US, you may need as long as 3 months prior to comply with rules and compile documents needed, once you find out what you need. You can also check with the applicable US Embassy if it's a foreign site. Arrive a few days early to finalize any paperwork and details like meeting with the officiant, caterer, florist, etc.

Look into group rates or suggest hotels for all budgets before booking a site. You may want to consider hiring an on-site consultant - find out what they include, as some can accommodate the entire wedding planning including paper work needed. And some hotels offer wedding packages.

You and your guests may need to declare any prescription medications or other pharmaceuticals - be sure to keep them in the original bottles.

Consider the climate and local of the site you choose and dress appropriately. Especially for a wedding on a beach, you wouldn't want a long-sleeve heavy dress. Consider what will pack well (linen and silk will require ironing, while chiffon and organza may be better choices). Take the dress in a garment bag or dress box with you on the plane - don't check it. Let the flight attendant know what you are carrying, so they can carefully stow or hang it. You may want to also bring along the grooms clothing and attendants, as what is available at the site may not be what you want, depending on location. Or, you could dress informally and skip the big dress number.

Give your guests something native to the wedding local as a take-home gift and remembrance. Be sure to include a photographer, as you will want good pictures of your event.

Gloves and Rings

I would like to wear elbow length gloves during the ceremony. What is the proper way to exchange rings when wearing gloves?

Some gloves, called Gauntlets, which leave the fingers open, can be left on. If you have short gloves, take the left glove off and hand it to your maid of honor once you reach the altar, or at the same time you give her your bouquet. Then she gives them back and you can wear them again for the recessional. If you have long gloves, unstitch lengthwise (or slit) the underseam of the ring finger, so that you can slip your finger out. Or, have the slit glove finger tucked into the hand of the glove before you walk down the aisle. Your bouquet will probably hide the gloveless ring finger. You can restitch the glove later if you want to wear them again.

You can keep long gloves on for the receiving line if you wish, but take off any gloves during dinner or any other time you're eating or drinking that day. You may take gloves off for the receiving line if you are more comfortable with them off.

Free Usage

I accessed your EZWeddingPlanner.com website and I would like you to confirm that there is absolutely no cost for anything once I sign up. Would you please email me and let me know if this is correct. How do you get paid for this service? It is great but I wonder how you can afford to offer such a service. Please advise.

It is free to brides and others planning weddings. It is supported by advertisers (see the 2 small ads on the top of your screen and the Resources section on the top menu bar.) You also can choose to have your name given to advertisers to mail you more information on their products/services, and/or to receive emails about them. EZWeddingPlanner.com sends you daily email reminders from your Plan (when you have a Plan item due) and at the bottom of these, we include several Sponsor's/advertiser's web sites, which you can go to and learn more about them.

You can also become a pledged member of EZWeddingPlanner by donating any amount you want. This gives you many additional features. For instance, your data will be saved until about 2 months after your wedding date as a regular user, at which time it will be deleted. As a pledged member it will stay up for 4 months and then moved to another of our sites for free. As a pledged member, you can also download your guest data whenever you want (to ascii delimited to put into a spreadsheet, etc - see Lists) and print out all your info too. Enjoy!

What Food to Serve

We are having a late (6:30pm)wedding,(7:30pm) reception. What would you suggest we serve - dinner, heavy hors d'oeuvres and dessert, breakfast? We are not sure what we should serve. Any suggestions?

For a late evening wedding, it's best to have a more substantial seated meal, buffet, or dinner-by-the bite reception. By the bite can include a mix of hot and cold passed hors d'oeuvres and carving stations, pasta bars, sushi setups and other buffet tables filled with bite-sized food. Consider the season - lighter meal in warm/hot weather, heavier in cool/cold weather. A good caterer can prepare a great menu that reflects your personal tastes and your budget.

We've been to a late afternoon/evening wedding that served a large sit-down meal for the reception right after the wedding and then hot dogs and chili at midnight. It is totally up to you.

Flowers

FLOWERS

Flowers will enhance your wedding style, as well as add beauty and elegance at the ceremony and reception. It is suggested that you choose a reputable florist well in advance of the wedding date, as the most experienced ones tend to be reserved far in advance. The florist will be able to assist you in selecting the appropriate flowers to match your color scheme, advising you as to which ones are in season, etc. There is a good Internet site by the Society of American Florists which shows pictures of many flowers and has wedding flower tips including how to select a florist for your wedding.

Traditionally, the bride's family pays for floral decoration for the ceremony and reception, as well as the bridesmaids' bouquets. The groom provides the bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, corsages for mothers and grandmothers, and boutonnieres for himself, fathers, and all men in the wedding party.

Silk flowers may be less expensive than real flowers, however much of the expense is in the labor if you have a florist arrange them. So if you are comfortable arranging them yourself, you can probably save a bundle. You could also consider substituting silk exotics (like orchids) for real ones and have the florist make combination bouquets. Some silk flowers look as pretty as the real thing and it's hard to tell the difference. Also, if you have a silk bouquet, it will still look the same for years to come, whereas real flowers will need to be preserved or dried or thrown out.

EZWeddingPlanner has a free form list that you can keep track of what flowers you need and what you are purchasing, etc. Click here for this list.

Flowers for the Ceremony

The purpose of flowers at a church ceremony is to help enhance the worship space. These may range from vases of flowers to more elaborate arrangements with sprays of flowers lining the aisle. Be sure to check with your clergy-person as to what the church allows.

If you are being married at home or in a hotel or club, it is best to select an attractive spot such as a fireplace or large window and decide what floral arrangements will best enhance it. Again, your professional florist will be able to help you make your decision. Be aware of the fact that some churches do not allow silk or artificial flowers because they are contradictory to the symbol and tradition of freshness, purity, life, wholeness, etc. On the other hand, some may not allow potted flowers/plants inside the church. Also, the chancel area of the Protestant church is viewed much differently than the sanctuary of the Catholic church. In fact, most Catholic churches to not even allow any flowers on the altar.

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Many brides choose to get married in a park or arboretum which already has flowers, so there is no need to add more.

Flowers for the Attendants

The bridal bouquet is the most beautiful of all, but the gown you will be wearing will determine the type of bouquet you choose. The gown is still the main focus. Keep in mind that the bride's bouquet and her attendants' bouquets should be coordinated in theme and color. You may also choose to carry a white prayer book or small Bible. If the bride is wearing a street-length dress, she may choose to wear a corsage instead of carrying a bouquet.

If you show your florist swatches of your bridesmaids' dresses and sketches of the dress style, he/she will be able to suggest suitable bouquets and head pieces.

The bouquet for the maid (or matron) of honor may be slightly different from the bridesmaids' bouquets.

The flowers carried by a flower girl should be demure, as befits her age and size. A small basket or nosegay is best. Carrying a basket is easy and natural and gives her something to concentrate on as she walks down the aisle.

Corsages for mothers and grandmothers should be chosen with the color of their dresses in mind. They should be kept simple – a cymbidium orchid has been a favorite for many.

Boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party are simply a symbol of participation in the wedding, so they should be small and simple. Carnations are frequently used, but other possibilities include one white (or matching color) sweetheart rose, or a sprig of stephanotis. The groom's boutonniere is generally a flower of the same type as those in the bride's bouquet, and should be different from those of the other men in the wedding party.

Reception Flowers

Reception flowers should be coordinated with the wedding theme in both color and design. Since your guests will be spending more time at the reception than at the wedding, you may want to consider where most of your flower budget should be spent. The buffet table is the center of attention and therefore the centerpiece should be elaborate. You will also need centerpieces for the table where the guests will be seated. Consider the color of the table linens; white, for instance, may wash out pastel colors. Consider using clay pots with in-season flowers as centerpieces. Guests may then take them home as a favor. For example, tulips or daffodils in spring would be pretty. See the flower guides below for seasonal suggestions. You may also wish to use fresh flowers, or silk flowers, on your wedding cake. This can be done easily by your caterer or baker. The base of the cake can be garlanded with greens or surrounded by the wedding bouquets during the reception and for pictur es. If an evening reception is planned, strings of small white twinkle lights entwined in floral decorations can add an enchanting touch.

Flower Guide

The flowers as listed will probably be available the year round, but it is wise to check with the florist before making a decision.

Alstroemaria	African Daisies	Baby's Breath	Bachelor Buttons
Calla Lily	Carnations	Chrysanthemums	Cornflowers
Daisy	Delphiniums	Easter Lilies	Freesia
Gardenias	Gerbera	Gladioli	Iris
Ivy	Lilies-of-the-Valley	Nerine	Orchids
Roses	Snapdragons	Stephanotis	Stock
Tuberose

The following flowers are usually available for autumn weddings:

Asters	Autumn leaves & foliage	Bouvardia	Celosia
China Aster	Chrysanthemums	Dahlias	Euphorbia fulgens
Grape ivy	Hydrangea	Shaggy-petaled Fujis	Shasta Daisies
Spider Mums	Statice	Tuberoses	Viburnum berries
Yarrow	Zinnias

The following flowers are usually available for winter weddings:

Acacia	Amaryllis	Calla Lilies	Camellias
Cyclamen	Dendrobium	Eucalyptus berries	Forget-Me-Nots
Heather	Helleborus	Holly	Iris
Lilacs	Madonna Lilies	Narcissus	Pepper berries
Poinsettias (white or red)	Santolina	Stephanotis	Sweet Peas
Tulips	Winter greens

The following flowers are usually available for spring weddings:

Apple Blossoms	Anemone	Azalea	Calla Lilies
Camellia	Daffodils	Dianthus	Dogwood
Easter Lilies	Forget-Me-Nots	Forsythia Branches	Geraniums
Garden roses	Hyacinth	Hydrangea	Iceland poppy
Iris	Jasmine	Jonquils	Larkspur
Lilacs	Lily of the valley	Mimosa	Narcissus
Pansy	Peonies	Primrose	Ranunculus
Sweet Peas	Tulips	Viburnum	Violets

The following flowers are usually available for summer weddings:

Asters	Bachelor's button	Bells of Ireland	Blue lace flower
Blue salvia	Calla Lilies	Clematis	Cornflower
Daisies	Delphinium	Eremurus	Forget-Me-Nots
Honeysuckle	Iris	Joepye weed	Larkspur
Lilies	Lysimachia	Peonies	Phlox
Queen Anne's Lace	Rosemary	Sedum	Shasts Daisies
Snowballs	Stock	Sunflower	Sweet Peas
Sweet William	Tuberoses	Zinnias

Again, this is just a guideline – check with your local florist as to what is available.

Charity in Lieu of Favors

Where can I get more information about making a donation to a charity in lieu of favors?

Favors are not mandatory, but most brides have them. If you would rather do a charity, you could leave a note written in calligraphy on each table stating that "in honor of the wedding of Claudette and Charles, a donation to a favorite charity has been made." You can also specify which charity if you like. Then you can give how ever much money you would like (what favors would have cost or some other amount) to the charity of your choice. We're sure that any charity will be happy to receive your gift.

Many couples print some personal note to their guests on the back of their wedding programs, thanking them for being a part of their celebration, etc. You could add the donation note here also if you wish, specifying that in lieu of favors you have made a charitable contribution.

Father's Speech

I need to find out what the father of the bride says in his speech.

He needn't give a long speech, but can just welcome the guests when all are seated and propose a toast to the couple sometime during the evening.

A sample parent's toast could be:

"When children find true love,
parents find true joy."
Here's to your joy and ours,
from this day forward.

Or, whatever he feels like saying. Toasts should never be over 3 minutes long.

Fathers and Children

We have two questions: (1) How do you include a stepfather who has pretty much supported the bride financially and mentally and the bio father in giving away the bride whom she is close to but he just doesn't provide for her and (2) how do you include a son from a previous relationship who is 2 yrs old and a 1 yr old daughter from this relationship in the wedding?

You can word the invitations from your step-father and mother (who are probably paying for the wedding). Your step-father can walk you down the aisle, or your bio father could, or both of them together can walk you down. You could also have the first dance with your bio father and have your step father do everything else. Or one of them could do a reading during the ceremony.

The children are pretty young to have any sort of active role in the wedding process. You could dress them cutely (a small tux and very small white lacy dress). It's probably a good idea to enlist a baby sitter to watch them during the ceremony and make arrangements for them after too (they will probably not be awake during the whole reception, nor would you want them to be, as they will need naps or to get to bed early). You can list them in the wedding program and include them in wedding photos.

Labels

How do I make mailing labels in EZWeddingPlanner?

 To bring your People data into a spreadsheet or database, notice that some of the lists have the word delimited associated with them. The purpose of this is to help you import data into your own spreadsheet or database, perhaps for printing labels. The list is shown in very small type and has commas between each field (see Invitation, Delimited List as an example).

To import that file into a database, spreadsheet or word document do the following: Copy the list into the clipboard then paste that into a text file (like WordPad in Windows), then save that as a file. Import the file into your spreadsheet or word document. From there you can set up a label generator. If you save the file with a name like mylist.csv then Excel will open it directly.

The Invitations Lists has Excel Spreadsheet. If Excel is installed on your computer, you may be able to directly open the list. Be sure to save the list to your computer as an .xls file.

Etiquette

Do you have suggestions for a source for wedding etiquette?

 EZWeddingPlanner contains a wealth of etiquette and planning information. In the Plan selection you can click on the yellow light bulbs for individual ideas, or click on Advice on the top menu bar for the list of topics. Also, the Q&A selection contains many wedding questions other brides have asked and answers.

Wedding Etiquette Book Recommendation  Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 5e

Entering People

I am filling out the "people" section in EZWeddingPlanner and am not sure how to do the person's spouse. For example, my parents, Pat and Dick Cook. Do I just fill out one for my father, or do I do two - one for her and one for him?

The reason you may want to enter them separately is if you want individual names on table place settings, they will each show up in Seating and when you print those lists both their names will show up. Also, on invitations, you may want to have both names to be able to address envelopes (Lists give you lots of permutations of names/addresses, etc.). Look at Lists and Seating to see what I mean.

If neither of these matter to you, you can enter them together as Mr & Mrs, etc. and then 2 people as number in party and invited, etc. Then in seating they will appear as 2 (to seat 2 correctly), but only with one name. But the RSVP numbers, etc. will still be correct.

Engagement Party

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

When is the Engagement Party Held

You can have an engagement party as soon as you become engaged. Some people time it for just before or just after a newspaper announcement of the engagement. I have found one source that said no farther out than one year and no closer to the wedding than six months. Obviously this is not firm, since some people get engaged and married within a six month time frame. Also, some people have 2 years or more of engagement before the actual wedding. The engagement party is really for both families to get together and get to know each other better. So, the earlier the better, especially if wedding finances need to be discussed and agreed on by both families.

Who Hosts

The groom's parents can call the bride's parents and express their happiness about the upcoming marriage. Engagement parties can be hosted by the groom's or bride's parents (it can be anything from a buffet, barbecue, or cocktail party, to a formal party) This is an opportunity for the two families to get to know each other and to introduce you to their family and friends. In fact, an engagement party can be hosted by any family member - or even a friend - who would like to have this party for you. If neither family steps forward with an engagement party, the two of you can invite the parents out for a luncheon or some other get together for them to meet. Generally, both sets of parents attend the engagement party, whoever hosts it.

Invitations

Invitations, if sent, can be worded like: Please join us for ______(brunch, cocktails, back-yard barbecue, etc.) in honor of Mark and Susan (or Mark Larsen and Susan Katz). Invitations can be issued formally, handwritten, or telephoned. Some people prefer to have a party under some other pretense, like a cocktail party, and then "spring" the engagement on the guests as a surprise. Doing it the surprise way makes the announcement without the expectation of gifts from the guests, although some may send a gift after-the-fact. Generally, guests invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. The only exception is if the wedding is a very small and private affair.

Where Held

Generally engagement parties are held at the home of one set of parents or some other relative's house, depending on circumstances. It can also be held at a restaurant or other social setting. If parents are geographically separated, several engagement parties may be held in different locations, depending on travel schedules of the bride and groom and/or other family.

Engagement Annoucements

Who do I contact about engagement announcements and what do they say?

 Engagement announcements can be sent as soon as you become engaged. They typically are sent to your hometown newspaper and to your fiancé's local paper. If you and your fiancé are living and working elsewhere, you can send it to that newspaper too. Look in the announcement section of the newspapers you have an interest in; most print submission instructions. If not, call the paper's society or lifestyle department for their guidelines or go to their web site for this information. Some may allow for on-line submissions. If not, most will want the announcement submission to be double spaced. Many people also submit engagement photos along with the announcement (usually 8x10 or 5x7 glossy B & W). Ask if the photo's will be returned. Ask about deadlines; some take info over the phone or on-line, others may require up to 10 days notice on their forms. Specify on wha t date you want your announcement to appear (Sunday is popular for weddings). Generally only the month the wedding will happen is mentioned, not the specific date.

Some sample announcements:

Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place in June. [The city is listed only when it is different from where the paper is published.]

If someone's parents are divorced, they are generally both mentioned and wording depends on how friendly they still are. Ms. Nancy Johnson announces the engagement of her daughter, Susan Lynn to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. Miss Johnson is also the daughter of Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis. or Ms. Nancy Johnson and Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

If you are not on good terms with either parent or they are both deceased, you can announce your own engagement. The wording could be something like: Announcement is made of the engagement of Miss Susan Lynn Johnson to Mr. Mark Spritle... or Susan Lynn Johnson, an attorney for Bittle and Bittle, is to be married in June to Mark Spritle, an engineer with Honeywell. Ms. Johnson is the daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson. Mr. Spritle is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

Many people also include employment, education, offices held in professional associations, military service, etc, in their announcements. Nancy and Henry Johnson of Minneapolis and Mary and Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque, are happy to announce the engagement of their children Susan Lynn and Mark Andrew. Susan is a 1994 graduate of West High School and a 1998 graduate of The University of Minnesota. She is currently employed at Bittle and Bittle Law Firm. Mark is a 1994 graduate of King High School and a 1998 graduate of Harvard. He is currently finishing up his Master's degree at Stanford and is employed at Honeywell as an engineer. A June 2000 wedding is planned.

Seating Divorced Parents

My fiance's parents are divorced. His mother is single and still carries her married name, but his father has a serious girlfriend who will be attending the wedding and ceremony. How do we sit his parents and his father's guest at the ceremony and at the reception? His parents get along fine, but it is just awkward.

When the groom's parents are divorced, but not remarried, if they are congenial, they might sit together in the right front row at Christian weddings; women sit on the left and men on the right at Jewish ceremonies. Otherwise his mother sits in the right front pew and his father and girlfriend sit in the third row on the right side. (This is also an individual decision.) For bride's parents, simply reverse the seating.

The reception seating is also a personal call. Ask his mother and father (separately) how comfortable they are regarding seating in both the ceremony and reception. This is your best guide. They can all sit at the same table (head table or individual) if they are all on good terms. Or they can be seated at separate tables and even different parts of the room. Since you say they get along fine, and if they decide to sit together, enjoy your day and good fortune in reasonable in-laws and don't give it another worry. It may be more awkward for you than for them or your other guests. Most parents are sensitive to getting along extra well at children's weddings, so as not to cause extra stress or spoil the day. If you don't make an issue of it, they may not either.

Divorced Parents

My parents are divorced and I'd like some ideas on the invitation wording.

Generally, the parent who raised you does the inviting. If that is your mother and she hasn't remarried, she has a variety of choices for wording her name - Mrs. Johnson Smith (maiden/married) or Mary Johnson Smith, or Mrs. Mary Smith, or Mrs. Mary Alice Smith requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Jennifer...

If you parents are still friendly, they can both issue the invitation... Mary Alice Smith and John Martin Smith request the honour of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jennifer... or Mrs. Mary Alice Smith and Mr. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Jennifer...

If your mother has remarried, you could say: Mr. and Mrs. Paul Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. Martin's daughter...(same goes if your father has remarried)

If your parents are not speaking to each other and don't want their names together, you can have one parent invite to the ceremony and the other to the reception (both sent to guests in the same envelope). Mary Alice Smith requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter, Jennifer... and then John Martin Smith requests the pleasure of your company ..date, time, location of reception, RSVP, etc.

Or you can simply say Jennifer Lynn Smith and Craig Allen Jones together with their parents request you to share in their joy as they are united in marriage...

Also, go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements, click on the light bulb on the right. That has lots of advice and sample wordings.

Dinner and Dancing

How do I word the invitation to say that there will be dinner and dancing?

Below the location line on the invitation you can say:
Reception immediately following - if it is at the same site as the ceremony,
or
Reception immediately following the ceremony
Mark's Swing Band
Glen Wood Country Club

or you can have a separate reception card like:
To help us celebrate
please join us for the reception
immediately following the ceremony
IDS Tower 50th floor
710 Marquette Avenue
Minneapllis, MN
Music by The Jay Anderson Trio

R.s.v.p. [this can be on the reception card or on a separate rsvp card]
827 Arbor Lane
Hopkins, MN 55343

There is no need to specifically indicate there will be dancing, although you could if you prefer. Most receptions have a DJ or band and dancing.

Inter-marriage between Faiths

My fiancé and I are of different faiths. He is Catholic, and I am of an alternative path. We agreed that we would be married by an official of the Catholic church (for him) but have no bible readings. We would plan all readings ... The questions are (a) I heard a Catholic church will not marry a non-Catholic to a Catholic. Is this true? (b) Can we plan the readings ourselves? We decided that we don't want bible readings (for me). (c) Can I include a person of my own faith in the actual marriage process in addition to the church clergy, even though they have no real legal power to marry us?

Besides the Catholic Ceremony Preparation, today most dioceses permit mixed marriages, i.e..Catholic & a Protestant or of the Jewish Faith. The ceremony may take place in the church. Contact your parish priest for hours when the ceremony may take place. The ceremonies are usually performed before six o'clock in the evening.

In dioceses where mixed marriages are not permitted in the church, the ceremony is performed either in the presbytery, sacristy, or a private chapel designated for said marriage. The ceremony is simple and without the Nuptial Mass.

The Catholic Party must have a baptismal Certificate, and besides filling out the prenuptial questionnaire, both parties sign promises guaranteeing to baptize and educate in the catholic faith alone, all children born of the marriage. The non-Catholic must promise also that he/she will not in any way interfere with the catholic party in the practice of his/her religion.

The Catholic ceremony may be personalized with family participation. Traditional vows are required with only slight variations, which must be approved by the priest.

Interfaith marriages are very common today. Priests often co-officiate with the clergy of other faith.

Marriage is a Sacrament in the Catholic Church, so regardless of where it takes place or what adaptations in form are made, the dignity and solemnity of the occasion must always be upheld.

[Answer compliments of Dianna Emerson, Bonne Foi Bridals & Weddings]

Different Budget

What if we have a different budget than the $15,000.00 on the EZWeddingPlanner web page? Could you divide it up for us with a budget of $8,000?

You will pretty much have to do that yourself. It really depends on how many will be at your wedding. You need to decide which items are really important to you and allocate the money accordingly. For instance, you may want to have a private ceremony and larger reception, or spend more on photography and less on flowers or food. Or have a simple ceremony and a grand honeymoon. Or invite a small number of relatives and/or close friends and have an elaborate reception. You get the idea... It is imperative to discuss with parents or other wedding benefactors who is going to pay for what and how much everyone is willing to contribute, before you commit to expensive choices.

Destin, Florida

My daughter is planning a beach wedding in Destin, Florida next spring. Any neat ideas? We live in Mississippi, the bride lives in New York City and the groom is in the military, so we will be planning this wedding long distance. Since this will be a relatively small wedding, I would like to make it nice.......but we are on a budget. Any suggestions would be nice.

Try going to a major search engine (like Google) and searching on "Destin and FL". This will lead you to local hotels, bed and breakfasts, boat rentals, and other local vendors. Lots of these are directly on the beach and may provide a great wedding/reception location with facilities and people on staff to help you plan the details. If you book far enough in advance, you may be able to take over an entire B&B, depending on the number of people traveling to the wedding and your budget.

You may also want to consider using a wedding coordinator in the Destin area who can be a great help finding and dealing with local resources before any of you arrive. A local coordinator will certainly give you piece of mind and take a lot of the stress out of planning long-distance yourselves.

If the wedding is directly on the beach, consider some of the following:

A beach cookout and swimming in the ocean - guests come prepared and dress casually. You might want to have a tent or large umbrellas available at the beach so those who need to get out of the sun have somewhere to go. Also have lots of water available (to drink). Bring sun screen for guests who may have forgotten theirs. Bring blankets to sit and eat on (also in case the guests don't come prepared). You may need permits to host a party on the beach. Consider port-a-potty rental if you are far away from rest room facilities. Outside weddings are always subject to weather, so you may want to have a plan B in case the weather is nasty.

Delete Tables

How do I delete tables in the Seating Plan of EZWeddingPlanner?

To delete the last table, first be sure Use number in family is selected. Then, if the last table is empty, check Del on the table and Make the Changes. Repeat until all the tables you want gone, are. This instruction is repeated near the bottom of the Seating page.

You can also add more tables if you need them, so don't worry about deleting too many tables.