Wording Etiquette for Invitations

WEDDING INVITATIONS

Wedding Announcements

As soon as a date is set and guest lists are complete, select and order the invitations. Allow at least three months before the wedding so there will be plenty of time for addressing, mailing, and responses.

Invitations can be ordered from EZWeddingPlanner's online store or from jewelers, stationery stores, department stores, specialty shops, or advertisements in magazines. All have consultants and/or samples to help in the selection of paper stock, color, design, and lettering style. Invitations can be engraved, or thermographed. Thermography is a process that resembles engraving, but is less expensive and more readily available.

When the order is placed, ask about getting the outer and inner envelopes ahead of time so that they can be addressed and ready to mail when the invitations arrive. There may be a small extra charge for this. Wedding invitations are to be mailed four to six weeks prior to the wedding date. They should all be mailed at the same time. Check with the local post office for the amount of postage needed to mail the wedding invitations as postage may vary, depending on number of enclosures.

If the invitations contain several enclosures, the proper order of placement is as follows: The non-gummed envelope contains the invitation along with the other enclosures and is placed in the outer envelope so it faces the flap. Tissue paper is placed over the engraving or printing to ensure against smudging. Or, if you prefer, the tissue paper can be discarded and not used. Response cards are tucked inside the invitation and, if needed, include a map. Be sure it is a clear reproduction on good quality paper. This also belongs inside the invitation with the other enclosures. Gold stickers/seals can be placed on the back flap of the outside envelope and sometimes contain the return address, but it is more commonly printed.

Invitations are usually issued by the parents of the bride, or by the surviving parent, or if the bride is an orphan, by the nearest of kin. The accepted order of kinship is as follows: Elder brother; Elder sister; Both grandparents, or one surviving; Uncle and/or Aunt; Guardian; Bride and groom issue invitations themselves; Groom's family.

You will want to create a guest list. Using EZ Wedding Planner makes this a simple task. Begin to fill it in as you plan, gathering addresses as you go The list is equally divided between bride and groom. You can be sure that about 30% will not attend, 50% or more if out-of-town guests. The bottom line on who to invite depends on the budget.

To figure out how many invitations to order, consider your guest list. Count one invitation per couple, one each for single guests, and one for children over age 18 in a family. Then add a dozen for mementos and 25-50 extra envelopes for mistakes (depending on your total guest count).

Addressing Envelopes

Envelopes should be handwritten in black ink - never typed. Do not abbreviate name or addresses. Either have the return address printed or hand write them when addressing the envelopes. If a response card is included, be sure it is stamped and pre-addressed.

Write out all streets, cities and states, don't abbreviate. Be sure to use zip codes. The only abbreviations that are ok to use are Mr., Mrs., Ms., Jr., Dr., and Esq. (for an attorney). It is also proper to write out formal titles, like Doctor, Captain or Reverend.

Guests full names are written on the outer envelope (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Martin Andrew Johnson). The outer envelope is sealed and stamped. Children are not listed in the address on the outer envelope, not is "and family".

The inner envelope is left unsealed and addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Johnson," without first names or addresses. Children under eighteen may be included by writing their first names in a line below their parents' on the inner envelope. Older children in the family should receive their own invitation, whether or not he or she is currently living with his or her parents.

If one of your guests will bring a friend and you do not know their name, then for a single person, include the name "and guest" on the inside envelope. Or, if you know the guest he or she intends to bring, a separate invitation should be sent. When two people live together, send one invitation addressed to both.

When a married woman keeps her maiden name, address her as "Miss" or "Ms." Her name can appear first, or the names can appear in alphabetical order. "Mrs." is only used when the married woman takes her husband's last name. If the woman has hyphenated her last name, which is different from her husband, then it would be Mr. Martin Johnson and Ms. Mary Trainer-Johnson.

A woman who is separated from her husband can be addressed as Ms. Mary Johnson. If she is divorced, she can be addressed the same, or with a combination of maiden and married surnames, like Mrs. Trainer Johnson. If she has reverted to her maiden name, then it's Ms. Mary Trainer. A widow is addressed on an envelope as Mrs. Martin Johnson. If the woman's own first name is used in any form, 'Ms.' is the title to choose: "Ms. Mary Johnson." There is usually no such thing as "Mrs. Mary Johnson" except in the case of a woman who is married to another woman.

Wording Etiquette for Invitations

TITLES - Reverend, Doctor, Captain, etc., are not abbreviated unless lack of space necessitates it.

SUFFIXES - Jr., Junior, II, III, IV, are all properly preceded by a comma. Jr. is capitalized when abbreviated, junior is not capitalized when spelled in full. Roman numerals are properly preceded by a comma.

Wording Etiquette for Gay, Lesbian or Bi-Sexual Invitations

Gay and lesbian weddings, civil unions and commitment ceremonies are becoming more commonplace; however, the semantics of the invitation can be a point of uncertainty for many couples. As a general rule, following standard wedding etiquette will suffice.

If you decide not to hold your ceremony in a place of worship, the wording will vary. The line "request the honor of your company" changes to "request the pleasure of your company." The "honor of your company" is usually reserved for houses of worship, whereas the "pleasure of your company" can be used for any location. See some examples below.

If Invitations Are Issued By Bride's Parents: Standard Form	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne to Mr. Mark Robert Nelson on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at two o'clock in the afternoon First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
Wedding Mass/Wedding Service	Mr. and Mrs Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne to Mr. Mark Robert Nelson on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at an eleven o'clock Wedding Mass Saint John's Catholic Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the Wedding Mass (Service) at which their daughter Susan Anne and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson will be united in the Sacrament of Marriage on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at ten o'clock Saint John's Catholic Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
If Mother Or Father Are Deceased - Living Parent Not Remarried	Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne
If Living Parent Has Remarried	Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. Carson's daughter Susan Anne
OR	Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne
OR	Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne
If Mother And Father Are Deceased - Invitations Issued By Unmarried Older Brother Or Sister.	Mr. John L. Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of his sister Susan Anne
If Invitations Are Issued By Married Older Brother Or Sister	Mr. and Mrs. Frank P. Egers request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her sister Susan Anne Johnson
If Invitations Are Issued By Grandmother Or Uncle And Aunt	Mr. and Mrs. Matthew K. Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their granddaughter Susan Anne Johnson
If Couple Issue Their Own Invitations	The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Miss Susan Anne Johnson and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
OR	Miss Susan Anne Johnson and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson request the honour of your presence at their marriage
OR	Together with their parents Miss Susan Anne Johnson and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson invite you to share with them a celebration of love. The ceremony will be...
OR	Michael Thompson and Samuel Johnson invite you to share in the joy of their commitment to one another date/time... place...
OR	Mary Thompson and Sandy Johnson Please join us as we celebrate the love we share with our family our friends and each other date/time... place...
If Invitations Are Issued By A Friend	Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Andrew Carlson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Susan Anne Johnson and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
Mother Divorced - If Not Remarried She May Use A Combination Of Her Maiden Name And Married Name (This Is Regarded As An Individual Decision.)	Mrs. Meyer Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne
Mother Remarried	Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne Johnson
OR	Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne Johnson
OR	Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. Douglas' daughter Susan Anne Johnson
Mother Remarried but Issues Invitation with Your Father who is Not Remarried	Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas Mr. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne Johnson
Father, Not Remarried, Issues Invitation (You lived with your father and had little or no contact with your mother)	Mr. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his daughter Susan Anne
Father and Stepmother Issue Invitation (You lived with your father and stepmother and had little or no contact with your mother)	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his (or their) daughter Susan Anne
OR	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mr. Johnson's daughter Susan Anne
Father Remarried, Mother Not Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations	Ms. Carol Johnson Meyer Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne
Mother and Father Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations	Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas Mr. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne Johnson
Mother and Father Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations With Stepparents	Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne Johnson
If Groom's Parents Issue Invitations	Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Miss Susan Anne Johnson to their son Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
If Bride and Groom's Parents Issue Invitations (In this case all have been divorced and remarried)	Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson Mr. and Mrs. Martin John Smith Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson
Stepmother Issue Invitations (If both parents are deceased)	Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her stepdaughter Susan Anne to Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
Second Marriages - Young Divorcee Uses Combination Of Maiden And Married Names	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Johnson Nelson
OR You have dropped ex-husband's name use your first, middle and maiden names	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne Johnson
Young Widow Uses Married Name	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne Nelson
Adult Children of the Bride Issue Invitation	Susan Anne Johnson Andrew Matthew Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their mother Anne Jean Johnson to Thomas K. Douglas
Adult Children of Both the Bride and Groom Issue Invitation	Ms. Susan Anne Johnson Mr. Andrew Matthew Johnson Mr. and Mrs. James Earl Douglas Ms. Sarah Anderson Douglas request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their mother Anne Jean Johnson to Thomas K. Douglas
Double Weddings - When Brides Are Sisters The Older Sister Is Mentioned First	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughters Susan Anne to Mr. Mark Robert Nelson and Mary Lou to Mr. Richard David Smith
When The Brides Are Not Sisters The Older Bride And Her Family Are Mentioned First	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson and Mr. and Mrs. Albert Saul Erickson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughters Susan Anne Johnson to Mr. Mark Robert Nelson and Mary Ann Erickson to Mr. Marc Keith Paulson
RECEPTION INVITATIONS The Phrase "Request The Pleasure Of Your Company" Is Used Here And On Invitations To Other Social Functions.	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception for their daughter Susan Anne and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at eight o'clock in the evening 8728 Pinehurst Drive Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR If Sponsors of the Ceremony Same as Hosts for Reception	Dinner Reception immediately following the ceremony 8728 Pinehurst Drive Minneapolis, Minnesota   R.S.V.P. 21 Arthur Lane Hopkins MN, 55343
OR If Sponsors of the Ceremony and Reception Hosts are Different (In This Case Father and Stepmother Host Reception)	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the pleasure of your company at the marriage reception of his daughter Susan Anne and Mark Robert Nelson immediately following the ceremony 8728 Pinehurst Drive Minneapolis, Minnesota   Reply card enclosed
OR All Combinations of Parents Host Reception	Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson request the pleasure of your company at the marriage reception of Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson immediately following the ceremony 8728 Pinehurst Drive Minneapolis, Minnesota
MILITARY WEDDINGS - Officers Above The Rank Of Lieutenant Have Title Preceding Name.	Major and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne to Captain Mark Robert Nelson United States Army
Junior Officers Have Title Placed In Next Line Preceding Branch Of Service	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne to Mark Robert Nelson First Lieutenant, United States Army
Rank Below Sergeant Is Not Indicated, Branch Of Service Is Placed Below Name	Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Anne to Mark Robert Nelson United States Army
CONTEMPORARY WORDING	A life of sharing, caring A love of endless giving together Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at seven-thirty o'clock when their daughter Susan Anne and Mark Robert Nelson become united through marriage at First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	In the spirit of Christian joy Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson will vow their lives to one another forever on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at seven o'clock in the evening Their families invite you to join them in asking God's blessing upon this holy union First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	A fresh new day…and it is our a day of happy beginnings when we, Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson pledge our lives as one on Saturday, June fifth Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at seven o'clock First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson invite you to share a day of happiness as they begin a life of love on Saturday, June fifth at four o'clock First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	Believing that Holy Matrimony is ordained by God and in the spirit of Christian joy Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson request the honour of your presence at the ceremony in which their daughter Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson will vow their lives to one another and become united as one in Christ Saturday, June fifth Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at one o'clock First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota
OR	The most joyous of occasions is the union of man and woman in the celebration of life… Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson invite you to share in the ceremony uniting their daughter
OR	Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson invite you to share in the joy when they exchange marriage vows and begin their new life together
OR	Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson have chosen the first day of their new lives together
OR	Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Francis Nelson invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children Susan Anne and Mark Robert This celebration of love will be
OR	Because you have shared in their lives by your friendship and love you are invited to share with our daughter Susan Anne and Mark Robert Nelson when they exchange marriage vows and begin their new life together on Saturday, June fifth Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at six o'clock First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
OR	Susan Anne Johnson and Mark Robert Nelson together with their parents Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson and Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Francis Nelson invite you to share in their joy when they exchange marriage vows and begin their new life together
OR	Our joy will be more complete if you can share in the marriage of our daughter, Susan Anne to Mark Robert Nelson on Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at seven o'clock in the evening at First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota We invite you to worship with us and witness their vows If you are unable to attend we ask your presence in thought and prayer Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
OR	With joyful hearts we ask you to be present at the ceremony uniting our daughter Susan Anne and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson Saturday, the fifth of June Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at four o'clock at First Lutheran Church Minneapolis, Minnesota Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
OR	Our daughter, Susan Anne, and Mark Robert Nelson will be united in Christ on Saturday, the fifth of June, nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at one-thirty o'clock in the afternoon at the First Lutheran Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. You are invited to join in worship, witness their vows, and celebrate their union at a reception following the ceremony in the Church Parlors. If you are unable to attend, we ask your presence in thought and prayer. Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson

Informal Seating

I want the wedding to be as informal as possible, since it is a second marriage for both. I don't want a head table and I don't want people to feel restricted to where they have to sit. Is that okay?

Sure. You can structure your ceremony and reception however you like it. It can certainly be informal seating. You may want to have special centerpieces or decorations or reserved signs for the bridal party tables if they are all going to sit together, otherwise the is no reason your guests can't just sit where they want.

Inexpensive Dress

Any ideas for a very inexpensive wedding dress? I've been scouting the second hand stores but haven't come up with anything yet.

 Most bridal stores will sell "off the rack" dresses that are used as display models. Check these for any shop damage though. There are usually also numerous consignment shops that have never been worn or worn once dresses that have been cleaned and are generally in excellent condition at reduced prices.

Craigslist has some excellent bargains on wedding dresses. I've seen some as low as $20, and some around $100.

Another option is to find a seamstress and have a dress sewn for you. Ask friends, dry cleaners or high-end shops in your area for recommendations and then call his/her references for other wedding dresses they have made. Aside from the time it takes to make the dress, allow several weeks to order materials and then another several weeks for fittings/alterations and cleaning.

You could also borrow a dress from a friend or relative. Again a reliable seamstress may be needed - and be sure to get the ok from the person you are borrowing from before you alter the dress to fit you.

If keeping the dress after the wedding is not a high priority, consider rental. Look in your phone book under Bridal Shops for those who rent dresses. This is usually a fraction of the cost of buying and the shop will generally also do alterations for you. The veil and slip should be included in the rental fee and they will also do the cleaning after.

Also, if your budget is tight, there is nothing stopping you from buying a nice dress from a store other than a bridal shop. Many brides have been married in street length dresses or nice suits. Also, depending on the season, you could look for prom dresses or elegant cocktail dresses in white or ivory or off-white. One of my friends wore a long burgundy dress for her wedding and the maid of honor wore light purple. Let your imagination help.

Include Others in Ceremony

This is my second marriage but first wedding. I want it to be really special and romantic. We plan to get married in my home. How would I include my son's girlfriend and my husband to be's daughter, because I only want my daughter as an attendant?

They could do a reading, pass out programs, greet guests, usher guests (if applicable), person the guest book, serve punch/coffee, light candles before the service, pin on corsages, cut and serve cake, etc. Include them in family pictures, have special seating for them at the wedding and reception, perhaps they could help decorate your house before the wedding, etc.

Include Children

I want to plan the ceremony to include my children, I have 2 ages 10 and 8. We will be getting Barry a triple band interlocking ring and we would all like to pledge to him on our day. I was wondering if you have any suggestions about how to proceed with this idea.....such as our own vows, unique ceremony ideas and anything that would make the ceremony special for all four of us, not just for Barry and I....as we are committing to becoming a family. Thank you so much for any help you may offer.

 Feel free to write your own vows (check with the officiant for any restrictions). You could say "with this ring we thee wed, instead of I thee wed" or "as a token of my and my children's love for your" After the vows to you, Barry could include vows to your children like "I Barry, take you Susie and Mark to be my new children, I promise to... etc." Or, your children could say "I Susie take Barry to be my new step-father (or father, depending on your circumstance), or my new parent" and then the same for Mark. They could say how they feel and promise to help to work on a happy, united family.

Perhaps in lighting the unity candle, you could have four small candles and all of you together light the single unity candle, symbolizing the joining of all of you as a family. Or your children could each light a side candle and then you and Barry could use those candles to light the center unity candle.

Some couples are using a sand ceremony as an alternative to the traditional unity candle ceremony at a wedding. Three nesting glass vases are used. This sand ceremony is popular with blended families. Children may help the parents pour from their vase, or using some additional mini nesting vases with different colored sand, the children can pour into the larger vase. It works for any number and age of children. Colored sand can be found in craft stores or even fish stores and any size/shape of vase may be used. This is a delightful expression of the unity of the families. Following the wedding, the outer vases may be used for flowers, while the center vase remains with the unity sand as a lovely display in your home.

Your children could write their thoughts and read them during the ceremony. They could also be junior attendants and stand up front with both of you.

Your children could walk you down the aisle.

They could hand out the programs. Their names can be included in the program with special thoughts on joining the family together. J

Your vows to each other might be followed by a family prayer, with each person in the family adding a phrase. Or the children could say a prayer together.

You could give your children each a family medallion (with three raised interlocking circles hung on a chain), an engraved locket or other jewelry, or some other gift at the altar as part of the ceremony. Or, your children could give Barry some special small gift they have picked out or made for him.

The children can sit at the bridal table at the reception.

Honoring Aunt

My biological mother is deceased and my auntie and other lady helped to raise me. How can I honor them both on that day.

You can have them ushered in and seated in the first row, where parents would sit. And be sure to have a corsage for both. Some brides/grooms as part of the service, walk down and present a rose to each of the mothers/grandmothers, and along with the groom's mother, you could give each of them a rose.

Seat them at the reception as though they were your parents. Some have a parents table with both sides together, some have the families separated - depending on the size of the families, etc.

The Honeymoon

THE HONEYMOON

You should plan your honeymoon together – discuss how much money you can afford to spend, the length of time you can take for your honeymoon, and where you would like to go. It is best to plan the honeymoon well in advance, so that you both can start to save toward the kind of honeymoon you really want. Both the availability of funds and the location chosen for your honeymoon will help determine the length of your trip. Also, be sure you can get away from your place of employment. Do you have vacation time coming or will you have to take time off without pay? If your vacation isn't due at the time you are getting married, you may want to postpone your honeymoon for awhile.

In planning your honeymoon, discuss what both of you like to do. Write for brochures from resorts, hotels, etc. Contact a good travel agent who can provide you with information on special package deals, airline fares, hotel reservations, etc. If you are under about 25 years old, be sure you will be able to rent a car and if not, make other transportation arrangements. Some car companies will not rent to young drivers. A travel agent can also help you get the most for your time and money.

Helpful Tips

• How long do you want to be away on your honeymoon?
• Do you want to be economical or can you afford to splurge?
• How much do you want to spend?
• How far do you want to travel?
• Do you want to fly, drive, or take a cruise?
• Do you want to spend the major part of your honeymoon in a sophisticated city, a small town, a big resort, or a small hide-away?
• Do you want a honeymoon package, a group tour, or an independent itinerary tailor-made just for the two of you?
• Do you want to stay in an isolated, self-contained resort, or a hotel that's right in the middle of the action?
• Do you want to do some sight-seeing, learn a new sport, shop for bargains, study something, or just simply relax?
• Do you want to leave the continental U.S.?

What to Take With You

• Coordinate your honeymoon attire with your fiance so you have the appropriate clothing, whether you are going hiking or dining, and so that you look like you really belong together.
• Take with you any reservation confirmations or deposit slips.
• Make sure you have necessary tickets.
• Label luggage with names, address and phone number, both inside and outside.
• Try to use traveler's checks or credit cards instead of carrying large sums of cash.
• Credit card with pin number - check ahead for ATM machines near where you will stay. Also be sure it won't expire while you are on your trip.
• Take proper identification with you – driver's license, birth certificate, etc.
• If traveling abroad, be sure you have your passport or visa in order.
• Check on insurance – whether it covers your belongings while on a trip. If not, buy additional insurance.

After all the excitement of planning the wedding, and the wedding day itself, you will need some time to just relax and enjoy each other. You might want to give consideration, therefore, to a more quiet time so that you aren't exhausted from running the whole time.

This information is courtesy of http://www.ezweddingplanner.com

He Cooks

I have promised my fiancé that we can be married in a church and she can wear a gown (we have been both divorced twice). I would like your thoughts on a reception at home, very casual and I would do most of the cooking, i.e., grilling?

You can certainly be married in a church and then have a casual, intimate reception at your home where you cook/grill. The guests will probably appreciate the comfortable, casual setting.

You will want to talk with the clergyperson at the church to be sure they will perform the ceremony for divorced couples (some do, some don't). But, I'm sure you will be able to find a church/clergy who will perform the service. And there is no reason that the bride cannot wear a wedding gown. Generally brides from multiple marriages do not wear a veil, but rather wear a hat, flowers, jeweled combs, etc. If the reception is casual, she (and you)can always change after the ceremony, or just wear your wedding clothes (and an apron for the chef!).

Hawaiian Like Wedding

I would like to know where to get ideas for a Hawaiian wedding, but put on in the United States (Boise, ID) Can you help me? Thank you.

 An interesting idea...You could have your florist make flower leis for your guests (or bridal party). If they don't know how, check with florists from Hawaii, who could ship them to you (www.hawaii.com and drill down to local florists). You could decorate your and the bridesmaids hair with flowers. Or you could have shell leis which wouldn't wilt - Hilo Hattie's in Hawaii have lots of them & you can probably order them. If you are having your reception in a hotel, they would probably be a good source for decorations - like rented palm trees or ferns to decorate the room or imitation torches (real might present fire hazards - unless your reception is outside). You could check with local rental/party vendors to see what kinds of decorations they may have (like maybe waterfalls or volcano stuff?). Perhaps some local dance studios could come perform hulas at the reception. It might be tougher to find someone who knows how to blow conch shells, but again, maybe dance studios would have some sources. Your DJ could play Hawaiian music Or, if you have a band, they could dress Hawaiian & add some Hawaiian music (check to see that they could play that before you hire them). If you print in your reception card that you are having a Hawaiian theme, perhaps your guests will dress accordingly. Some appetizers could include large fresh fruit plates with pineapples, etc. Or maybe you could have a pig roast (is that Hawaiian??). You could decorate the tables with shells and flowers & even perhaps sand with shells on the cake table? If you really wanted to go colorful, you could have Hawaiian print table cloths for the reception. You could check with the wedding coordinators in Hawaii (again www.hawaii.com) to see what types of things they do in Hawaiian weddings (of course they have the actual setting to work with)...

Hair

HAIR

Here are some general guidelines for your hair on the big day. A lot depends on what type of hair you have, fine, course, thick, thin, straight, curly, short, long, etc. The other factor in determining how to do your hair is what type of headpiece or veil you plan to wear. Look through bridal magazines and cut out the hairstyles you like. This will help you and your stylist later.

There are a variety of hair styles from which to choose. Some include:

• Natural - just leave it pretty much the way you always look. If you have long hair, leave it long (not put up). You can curl it, decorate it, etc., but it basically stays natural. This is probably the easiest and least expensive method.
• Bun - which is basically a ponytail wrapped around itself, usually at the top of your head.
• Chignon - a tight knot at the base of the head. This style can be a wound braid or many braids, or a plain, ungathered ponytail. A chignon works well with almost any type of hair.
• French Braid - a three stranded braid woven close to the head. Very good for fluffy, out-of-control hair.
• French Twist - winding up all of your hair sideways and fastening it. This lends itself to a variety of beautiful hair accessories.
• Petal Curls - many smooth folds of hair on top or at the back of the head.
• Updo - pretty much any upswept look. Generally there are loose tendrils of hair framing the face.

Natural

Chignon

Updo

Updo

In general, thick, course hair stays up the best and thin, fine hair may be better with the front up and the back down. To put hair up and have it stay, it is better to start with dry, slightly dirty hair. This is because it will have more texture. It is recommended to wash it the night before the wedding day rather than the morning of.

If you want to wear your hair up, but it is a little short, start growing it now (or at least six months before the wedding). Hair grows at about one-half inch per month. But, it is not a good idea to just grow it for the wedding and then cut it off right after. It's better to be yourself.

If you have colored, permed, or treated hair, have it done at least two weeks before the wedding. This will give your hair a chance to relax a bit and also you will have time to fix it if need be. For the same reasons, you should get a trim two weeks before the wedding.

If you are undecided on what to do with your hair, wearing it up will generally keep it the way you want longer and it keeps your hair from hiding the neckline of your dress. Tall women can wear curls any length. Shorter women probably will look better with longer curls - that is not too short. Curls one inch below the shoulder is safe.

The best advice is to keep your hair healthy and shiny and as natural as possible. A good conditioner can help, especially for dry or curly hair. Also keep curling iron use to a minimum as this can dry out your hair. This is true in general, not just for your wedding day.

If you are planning to have a stylist do your hair, have a practice run long before the wedding. This will give you time to try out a number of stylists and you may find that what you thought you would like, just isn't "you". Or that hair tightly bound will give you a headache after a few hours. It is a good idea to have your headpiece/veil along to see how it works with your hair style. And, don't go too trendy. You don't want to look at your pictures later and be disappointed.

Plan on at least 2-3 hours for your hair and makeup; more if all your bridesmaid's hair are done by the same person. And, if the same person is doing your bridesmaids hair, do yours last, so it will look the freshest for the ceremony and pictures.

Headpieces/Veils

First, a look at the different types of headpieces and then the variety of veils. Then we'll discuss how these affect your hair style. Whatever you decide on, make sure it is comfortable and that you can turn your head and bend over and dance without it falling off. If you choose a hat with a brim, be sure the groom can easily kiss you. Hats work best with low chignons, lose and flowing styles or sleek, short hair cuts. They may be most appropriate for informal, outdoor, daytime weddings.

• Bow - usually positioned at the back of your head and is often flower trimmed. It is generally made of lace or satin.
• Combs or Barrettes - usually pearl-encrusted or decorated.
• Coronet - a wreath resting high on the crown of your head.
• Floral Wreath - a circlet of flowers which can nestle on top of your head or at your mid-forehead.
• Garden Hat - a crownless hat, usually made of horsehair, trimmed with flowers and ribbons.
• Half Hat - a small hat covering half, or less than half, of your crown.
• Headband - a raised hairband, decorated and ornamented.
• Juliet Cap - a small cap, ornately festooned with pearls and jewels, that snugly hugs your crown.
• Mantilla - a fine-lace trimmed netting usually secured to an elegant comb, gently framing your face.
• Picture Hat - ornamented hat with a very large brim. You can also tilt this hat to one side with the brim up.
• Profile - silk flowers with pearl sprays and crystals secured on a comb. It's worn asymmetrically on one side of your head.
• Tiara - crown, usually encrusted with crystals, pearls, rhinestones, or lace, resting high atop your head.
• Toque - small close fitting hat without a brim.

Except for the Mantilla and perhaps the Picture Hat, veiling is usually attached to all of these headpieces. Most veils are made of nylon material called illusion. Decorations often include poufs, which are small gathers of veiling on the crown of a headpiece. Often times the veil will have an edging around the outside of satin or silk. Wreaths often have flowing ribbons called streamers tied into "love knots". Some veil types include:

• Ballet-Length or Waltz-Length - falling to the ankles.
• Birdcage - falling just below your chin, gently shirred at the sides and usually attached to hats.
• Blusher - loose veil worn forward over your face and after the ceremony is turned back over the headpiece. It is often attached to a longer, three-tiered veil.
• Cathedral-Length - cascading at least 3 1/2 yards from the headpiece and it is usually worn with a cathedral train.
• Chapel-Length - cascading 2 1/3 yards from the headpiece.
• Fingertip - this is the most popular length and it has several layers that touch your fingertips.
• Fly-Away - has multiple layers that brush the shoulders and is usually worn with an informal, ankle-length dress or a style with details in back.

You will want to build your hair around your headpiece. Consider what your hair will look like if you want to take off your headpiece or veil during the reception. This will also determine how they are fastened into your hair. Hairstyle will also vary depending on where the headpiece/veil will sit on your head. The formality of your gown should also dictate your hairstyle.

If you have fine hair or straight hair, use finer combs on your headpiece. The bridal store can replace wide tooth combs with fine. Or, go with a headpiece that can be easily secured. A smaller headpiece may be better. For thin hair, consider sewn in extensions and hairpieces for more body. If you do this, the headpiece can be attached to it for a solid feel. Wavy, curly hair can use wide tooth combs, bobby pins, barrettes, etc. If you have thick hair, consider a larger headpiece, so it won't get lost in your hair. Keep proportion in mind.

Considering flowers for your hair? Fresh flowers add dimension and texture. Avoid fake flowers. Flowers may be braided into the hair, pinned in, used as a wreath around your whole head, attached to the veil or even used instead of a veil. This is particularly a good idea if it's a second marriage. Most florists can provide fresh flowers for your hair and even craft the whole headpiece. Getting the flowers from your florist will ensure that they match your bouquet. Also, your hair stylist can integrate flowers when doing your hair. Don't put flowers in your hair too early on the wedding day, as you want them to look as fresh as possible. It is generally best to pick, small, hardy flowers like roses, orchids, daisies, stephanotises, narcissus, etc. Avoid bulb flowers like tulips or daffodils, because they wilt quickly. Accents of greens may also be included. Your florist is a good resource on what types of flowers would make good hair accessories. Be sure you or your groom are not allergic to the flowers and that you both will like the scent of them.

If you are wearing a veil and flowers, first attach the headpiece and veil to your head and then add the flowers. If your florist individually wraps the flowers first with wire and tape, they will last longer on the headpiece.

Number of Guests

I spoke with my mother last night about decreasing the number of people and she had a huge problem with it. Is there anyway I could do something to calm her down?

Hosting a wedding can be a stressful time for everyone involved, particularly those who do most of the planning work. If your mother is paying for the wedding and reception, then she should be aware of the cost of each additional guest. If you are paying, then you have the final say on how many people you can afford. The number of guests you can invite may also be determined by the reception site (the size of the room & seating capacity). There are generally more people you would like to invite than are feasible to actually invite. Making A and B lists may help. As the A list of people RSVP "no" you can add more of the B list. A list people are those who you absolutely want to come - close relatives and close friends and the B list are those who it would be nice to invite, but realistically you can't invite everyone. They could be business associates, neighbors, distant relatives, etc. Maybe by adding your guest list to EZ Wedding Planner, you and your mother (and the groom's side) can come to an agreement on who should be invited. Having just gone through three weddings of our children, we understand this is a hard issue to deal with. Bottom line, it's your wedding and you should have the final say on who is invited (but if your mom is paying, let her add people, room permitting).

Guest Book

Where can I see and purchase a guest book that has pages for guests to write a note to the bride and groom?

Many stores sell wedding guest books. Bridal shops, stationery stores, department stores, as well as mass merchants like Target or Wal-Mart should have a variety of guest books. You could also try book stores like Barnes and Noble or Borders or vendors who sell invitations and accessories. And, many of the EZ Wedding Planner Sponsors sell guest books. You will probably just have to shop around to find one you like.

Guest Book

THE GUEST BOOK

The guest book is a special way of preserving the names of those friends and relatives who shared your wedding day with you. Guests can also add notes of congratulations and happiness. It's a lovely keepsake to look through as the anniversaries go by.

Guest books can be purchased at any stationery or department store, or ordered through the mail. You may wish to choose a book just for guests, or a wedding memory book with a guest section. You may also want your names and the wedding date embossed on the front cover. Guest books come in many different sizes – from the standard eight and one-half inches by eleven-inches to rectangles ranging from tall and thin to short and wide. White or cream-colored pages are probably your best choice.

The guest book should be set in a prominent place to make sure that your guests will see it and sign it. It can be set out before the wedding ceremony (like in the entrance area of the church) and then brought to the reception site. This way guests who may not go to the reception will have a chance to sign the guest book. Most commonly, the guests will sign the book before or during the reception. It is suggested that you place your guest book on a nicely decorated small table near the entrance to the reception hall or at the end of the receiving line at the reception site. You may wish to designate a teen-age friend or cousin to be the guest book attendant. Your helper could direct guests to sign the book, or he/she may circulate among them to be sure everyone signs the books. It is a good idea to have a matching pen attached to the book, or on the table. Many brides decorate the pen with ribbon, so nobody accidentally walks off with it.

Also, if you choose a wedding memory book you will have space to collect mementos such as snapshots, newspaper clippings, etc. Make it a fun "scrapbook" to remember for a lifetime!

Both Use Program

Hi.. I am the groom in this wedding.. is it possible for both of us to use EZWeddingPlanner from each of our locations, so the changes we make will appear on the same plan? Like to have a double login for the same account?

Yes you can use the same login and make changes. It is best to avoid simultaneous entry and we suggest you coordinate the times you are in the program by email.

One of the great benefits of EZWeddingPlanner is that different people involved can enter guests, etc. from different locations. We had a wedding of our own on the east coast, and had people from the west, midwest and east all entering names and addresses.

Groomsmen Clothes

Do the groomsmen have to match the groom?

No, they don't have to match the groom. Some people have them wear the same tux but with different ties and cummerbunds or different colored shirt, etc. Some have groomsmen in black or navy and the groom in white tux, Some just have everyone wear suits and some match and some don't. It's really up to you and your fiancé on what you want and what your groomsmen can afford.

Groom's Mother's Expenses

What does the Grooms mother have to buy (flowers, etc...)

There aren't any hard and fast rules as to what she must buy. At the least, she would buy her own dress or clothing to wear to the wedding. Generally, the groom's family also hosts/pays for the rehearsal dinner. In EZWeddingPlanner Advice (top menu bar) there are lots of topics including Paying for Expenses.

Also look in Budget, where you can track what's to be bought and who's paying for it, etc. All these items are changeable, so you can fit it to your situation. Much depends on who can best afford to pay and how much everyone wants to contribute to the wedding. Noone should go broke paying for a wedding because it's "expected".

Going Away Wedding

What would be some of the advantages and disadvantages of going away to get married? I am interested in taking parents and a couple of close friends along.

One advantage is that you can then spend some time after the wedding at your destination and have a honeymoon with the same trip. And a small, intimate wedding lets you spend lots of time with a select group of people, instead of a large crowd where you may not get to spend time with each guest. One downside may be that you can't include everyone you would like. But, you can always have another reception back home, after the fact, to include other guests who did not travel with you.

Be sure you check local requirements (for example France has a forty-day residency requirement prior to the wedding.) If it is outside the US, you may need as long as 3 months prior to comply with rules and compile documents needed, once you find out what you need. You can also check with the applicable US Embassy if it's a foreign site. Arrive a few days early to finalize any paperwork and details like meeting with the officiant, caterer, florist, etc.

Look into group rates or suggest hotels for all budgets before booking a site. You may want to consider hiring an on-site consultant - find out what they include, as some can accommodate the entire wedding planning including paper work needed. And some hotels offer wedding packages.

You and your guests may need to declare any prescription medications or other pharmaceuticals - be sure to keep them in the original bottles.

Consider the climate and local of the site you choose and dress appropriately. Especially for a wedding on a beach, you wouldn't want a long-sleeve heavy dress. Consider what will pack well (linen and silk will require ironing, while chiffon and organza may be better choices). Take the dress in a garment bag or dress box with you on the plane - don't check it. Let the flight attendant know what you are carrying, so they can carefully stow or hang it. You may want to also bring along the grooms clothing and attendants, as what is available at the site may not be what you want, depending on location. Or, you could dress informally and skip the big dress number.

Give your guests something native to the wedding local as a take-home gift and remembrance. Be sure to include a photographer, as you will want good pictures of your event.

Gloves and Rings

I would like to wear elbow length gloves during the ceremony. What is the proper way to exchange rings when wearing gloves?

Some gloves, called Gauntlets, which leave the fingers open, can be left on. If you have short gloves, take the left glove off and hand it to your maid of honor once you reach the altar, or at the same time you give her your bouquet. Then she gives them back and you can wear them again for the recessional. If you have long gloves, unstitch lengthwise (or slit) the underseam of the ring finger, so that you can slip your finger out. Or, have the slit glove finger tucked into the hand of the glove before you walk down the aisle. Your bouquet will probably hide the gloveless ring finger. You can restitch the glove later if you want to wear them again.

You can keep long gloves on for the receiving line if you wish, but take off any gloves during dinner or any other time you're eating or drinking that day. You may take gloves off for the receiving line if you are more comfortable with them off.

Free Usage

I accessed your EZWeddingPlanner.com website and I would like you to confirm that there is absolutely no cost for anything once I sign up. Would you please email me and let me know if this is correct. How do you get paid for this service? It is great but I wonder how you can afford to offer such a service. Please advise.

It is free to brides and others planning weddings. It is supported by advertisers (see the 2 small ads on the top of your screen and the Resources section on the top menu bar.) You also can choose to have your name given to advertisers to mail you more information on their products/services, and/or to receive emails about them. EZWeddingPlanner.com sends you daily email reminders from your Plan (when you have a Plan item due) and at the bottom of these, we include several Sponsor's/advertiser's web sites, which you can go to and learn more about them.

You can also become a pledged member of EZWeddingPlanner by donating any amount you want. This gives you many additional features. For instance, your data will be saved until about 2 months after your wedding date as a regular user, at which time it will be deleted. As a pledged member it will stay up for 4 months and then moved to another of our sites for free. As a pledged member, you can also download your guest data whenever you want (to ascii delimited to put into a spreadsheet, etc - see Lists) and print out all your info too. Enjoy!

What Food to Serve

We are having a late (6:30pm)wedding,(7:30pm) reception. What would you suggest we serve - dinner, heavy hors d'oeuvres and dessert, breakfast? We are not sure what we should serve. Any suggestions?

For a late evening wedding, it's best to have a more substantial seated meal, buffet, or dinner-by-the bite reception. By the bite can include a mix of hot and cold passed hors d'oeuvres and carving stations, pasta bars, sushi setups and other buffet tables filled with bite-sized food. Consider the season - lighter meal in warm/hot weather, heavier in cool/cold weather. A good caterer can prepare a great menu that reflects your personal tastes and your budget.

We've been to a late afternoon/evening wedding that served a large sit-down meal for the reception right after the wedding and then hot dogs and chili at midnight. It is totally up to you.

Flowers

FLOWERS

Flowers will enhance your wedding style, as well as add beauty and elegance at the ceremony and reception. It is suggested that you choose a reputable florist well in advance of the wedding date, as the most experienced ones tend to be reserved far in advance. The florist will be able to assist you in selecting the appropriate flowers to match your color scheme, advising you as to which ones are in season, etc. There is a good Internet site by the Society of American Florists which shows pictures of many flowers and has wedding flower tips including how to select a florist for your wedding.

Traditionally, the bride's family pays for floral decoration for the ceremony and reception, as well as the bridesmaids' bouquets. The groom provides the bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, corsages for mothers and grandmothers, and boutonnieres for himself, fathers, and all men in the wedding party.

Silk flowers may be less expensive than real flowers, however much of the expense is in the labor if you have a florist arrange them. So if you are comfortable arranging them yourself, you can probably save a bundle. You could also consider substituting silk exotics (like orchids) for real ones and have the florist make combination bouquets. Some silk flowers look as pretty as the real thing and it's hard to tell the difference. Also, if you have a silk bouquet, it will still look the same for years to come, whereas real flowers will need to be preserved or dried or thrown out.

EZWeddingPlanner has a free form list that you can keep track of what flowers you need and what you are purchasing, etc. Click here for this list.

Flowers for the Ceremony

The purpose of flowers at a church ceremony is to help enhance the worship space. These may range from vases of flowers to more elaborate arrangements with sprays of flowers lining the aisle. Be sure to check with your clergy-person as to what the church allows.

If you are being married at home or in a hotel or club, it is best to select an attractive spot such as a fireplace or large window and decide what floral arrangements will best enhance it. Again, your professional florist will be able to help you make your decision. Be aware of the fact that some churches do not allow silk or artificial flowers because they are contradictory to the symbol and tradition of freshness, purity, life, wholeness, etc. On the other hand, some may not allow potted flowers/plants inside the church. Also, the chancel area of the Protestant church is viewed much differently than the sanctuary of the Catholic church. In fact, most Catholic churches to not even allow any flowers on the altar.

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Many brides choose to get married in a park or arboretum which already has flowers, so there is no need to add more.

Flowers for the Attendants

The bridal bouquet is the most beautiful of all, but the gown you will be wearing will determine the type of bouquet you choose. The gown is still the main focus. Keep in mind that the bride's bouquet and her attendants' bouquets should be coordinated in theme and color. You may also choose to carry a white prayer book or small Bible. If the bride is wearing a street-length dress, she may choose to wear a corsage instead of carrying a bouquet.

If you show your florist swatches of your bridesmaids' dresses and sketches of the dress style, he/she will be able to suggest suitable bouquets and head pieces.

The bouquet for the maid (or matron) of honor may be slightly different from the bridesmaids' bouquets.

The flowers carried by a flower girl should be demure, as befits her age and size. A small basket or nosegay is best. Carrying a basket is easy and natural and gives her something to concentrate on as she walks down the aisle.

Corsages for mothers and grandmothers should be chosen with the color of their dresses in mind. They should be kept simple – a cymbidium orchid has been a favorite for many.

Boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party are simply a symbol of participation in the wedding, so they should be small and simple. Carnations are frequently used, but other possibilities include one white (or matching color) sweetheart rose, or a sprig of stephanotis. The groom's boutonniere is generally a flower of the same type as those in the bride's bouquet, and should be different from those of the other men in the wedding party.

Reception Flowers

Reception flowers should be coordinated with the wedding theme in both color and design. Since your guests will be spending more time at the reception than at the wedding, you may want to consider where most of your flower budget should be spent. The buffet table is the center of attention and therefore the centerpiece should be elaborate. You will also need centerpieces for the table where the guests will be seated. Consider the color of the table linens; white, for instance, may wash out pastel colors. Consider using clay pots with in-season flowers as centerpieces. Guests may then take them home as a favor. For example, tulips or daffodils in spring would be pretty. See the flower guides below for seasonal suggestions. You may also wish to use fresh flowers, or silk flowers, on your wedding cake. This can be done easily by your caterer or baker. The base of the cake can be garlanded with greens or surrounded by the wedding bouquets during the reception and for pictures. If an evening reception is planned, strings of small white twinkle lights entwined in floral decorations can add an enchanting touch.

Flower Guide

The flowers as listed will probably be available the year round, but it is wise to check with the florist before making a decision.

Alstroemaria	African Daisies	Baby's Breath	Bachelor Buttons
Calla Lily	Carnations	Chrysanthemums	Cornflowers
Daisy	Delphiniums	Easter Lilies	Freesia
Gardenias	Gerbera	Gladioli	Iris
Ivy	Lilies-of-the-Valley	Nerine	Orchids
Roses	Snapdragons	Stephanotis	Stock
Tuberose

The following flowers are usually available for autumn weddings:

Asters	Autumn leaves & foliage	Bouvardia	Celosia
China Aster	Chrysanthemums	Dahlias	Euphorbia fulgens
Grape ivy	Hydrangea	Shaggy-petaled Fujis	Shasta Daisies
Spider Mums	Statice	Tuberoses	Viburnum berries
Yarrow	Zinnias

The following flowers are usually available for winter weddings:

Acacia	Amaryllis	Calla Lilies	Camellias
Cyclamen	Dendrobium	Eucalyptus berries	Forget-Me-Nots
Heather	Helleborus	Holly	Iris
Lilacs	Madonna Lilies	Narcissus	Pepper berries
Poinsettias (white or red)	Santolina	Stephanotis	Sweet Peas
Tulips	Winter greens

The following flowers are usually available for spring weddings:

Apple Blossoms	Anemone	Azalea	Calla Lilies
Camellia	Daffodils	Dianthus	Dogwood
Easter Lilies	Forget-Me-Nots	Forsythia Branches	Geraniums
Garden roses	Hyacinth	Hydrangea	Iceland poppy
Iris	Jasmine	Jonquils	Larkspur
Lilacs	Lily of the valley	Mimosa	Narcissus
Pansy	Peonies	Primrose	Ranunculus
Sweet Peas	Tulips	Viburnum	Violets

The following flowers are usually available for summer weddings:

Asters	Bachelor's button	Bells of Ireland	Blue lace flower
Blue salvia	Calla Lilies	Clematis	Cornflower
Daisies	Delphinium	Eremurus	Forget-Me-Nots
Honeysuckle	Iris	Joepye weed	Larkspur
Lilies	Lysimachia	Peonies	Phlox
Queen Anne's Lace	Rosemary	Sedum	Shasts Daisies
Snowballs	Stock	Sunflower	Sweet Peas
Sweet William	Tuberoses	Zinnias

Again, this is just a guideline – check with your local florist as to what is available.

Charity in Lieu of Favors

Where can I get more information about making a donation to a charity in lieu of favors?

Favors are not mandatory, but most brides have them. If you would rather do a charity, you could leave a note written in calligraphy on each table stating that "in honor of the wedding of Claudette and Charles, a donation to a favorite charity has been made." You can also specify which charity if you like. Then you can give how ever much money you would like (what favors would have cost or some other amount) to the charity of your choice. We're sure that any charity will be happy to receive your gift.

Many couples print some personal note to their guests on the back of their wedding programs, thanking them for being a part of their celebration, etc. You could add the donation note here also if you wish, specifying that in lieu of favors you have made a charitable contribution.

Father's Speech

I need to find out what the father of the bride says in his speech.

He needn't give a long speech, but can just welcome the guests when all are seated and propose a toast to the couple sometime during the evening.

A sample parent's toast could be:

"When children find true love,
parents find true joy."
Here's to your joy and ours,
from this day forward.

Or, whatever he feels like saying. Toasts should never be over 3 minutes long.

Fathers and Children

We have two questions: (1) How do you include a stepfather who has pretty much supported the bride financially and mentally and the bio father in giving away the bride whom she is close to but he just doesn't provide for her and (2) how do you include a son from a previous relationship who is 2 yrs old and a 1 yr old daughter from this relationship in the wedding?

You can word the invitations from your step-father and mother (who are probably paying for the wedding). Your step-father can walk you down the aisle, or your bio father could, or both of them together can walk you down. You could also have the first dance with your bio father and have your step father do everything else. Or one of them could do a reading during the ceremony.

The children are pretty young to have any sort of active role in the wedding process. You could dress them cutely (a small tux and very small white lacy dress). It's probably a good idea to enlist a baby sitter to watch them during the ceremony and make arrangements for them after too (they will probably not be awake during the whole reception, nor would you want them to be, as they will need naps or to get to bed early). You can list them in the wedding program and include them in wedding photos.

Labels

How do I make mailing labels in EZWeddingPlanner?

 To bring your People data into a spreadsheet or database, notice that some of the lists have the word delimited associated with them. The purpose of this is to help you import data into your own spreadsheet or database, perhaps for printing labels. The list is shown in very small type and has commas between each field (see Invitation, Delimited List as an example).

To import that file into a database, spreadsheet or word document do the following: Copy the list into the clipboard then paste that into a text file (like WordPad in Windows), then save that as a file. Import the file into your spreadsheet or word document. From there you can set up a label generator. If you save the file with a name like mylist.csv then Excel will open it directly.

The Invitations Lists has Excel Spreadsheet. If Excel is installed on your computer, you may be able to directly open the list. Be sure to save the list to your computer as an .xls file.

Etiquette

Do you have suggestions for a source for wedding etiquette?

 EZWeddingPlanner contains a wealth of etiquette and planning information. In the Plan selection you can click on the yellow light bulbs for individual ideas, or click on Advice on the top menu bar for the list of topics. Also, the Q&A selection contains many wedding questions other brides have asked and answers.

Wedding Etiquette Book Recommendation  Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 5e

Entering People

I am filling out the "people" section in EZWeddingPlanner and am not sure how to do the person's spouse. For example, my parents, Pat and Dick Cook. Do I just fill out one for my father, or do I do two - one for her and one for him?

The reason you may want to enter them separately is if you want individual names on table place settings, they will each show up in Seating and when you print those lists both their names will show up. Also, on invitations, you may want to have both names to be able to address envelopes (Lists give you lots of permutations of names/addresses, etc.). Look at Lists and Seating to see what I mean.

If neither of these matter to you, you can enter them together as Mr & Mrs, etc. and then 2 people as number in party and invited, etc. Then in seating they will appear as 2 (to seat 2 correctly), but only with one name. But the RSVP numbers, etc. will still be correct.

Engagement Party

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

When is the Engagement Party Held

You can have an engagement party as soon as you become engaged. Some people time it for just before or just after a newspaper announcement of the engagement. I have found one source that said no farther out than one year and no closer to the wedding than six months. Obviously this is not firm, since some people get engaged and married within a six month time frame. Also, some people have 2 years or more of engagement before the actual wedding. The engagement party is really for both families to get together and get to know each other better. So, the earlier the better, especially if wedding finances need to be discussed and agreed on by both families.

Who Hosts

The groom's parents can call the bride's parents and express their happiness about the upcoming marriage. Engagement parties can be hosted by the groom's or bride's parents (it can be anything from a buffet, barbecue, or cocktail party, to a formal party) This is an opportunity for the two families to get to know each other and to introduce you to their family and friends. In fact, an engagement party can be hosted by any family member - or even a friend - who would like to have this party for you. If neither family steps forward with an engagement party, the two of you can invite the parents out for a luncheon or some other get together for them to meet. Generally, both sets of parents attend the engagement party, whoever hosts it.

Invitations

Invitations, if sent, can be worded like: Please join us for ______(brunch, cocktails, back-yard barbecue, etc.) in honor of Mark and Susan (or Mark Larsen and Susan Katz). Invitations can be issued formally, handwritten, or telephoned. Some people prefer to have a party under some other pretense, like a cocktail party, and then "spring" the engagement on the guests as a surprise. Doing it the surprise way makes the announcement without the expectation of gifts from the guests, although some may send a gift after-the-fact. Generally, guests invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. The only exception is if the wedding is a very small and private affair.

Where Held

Generally engagement parties are held at the home of one set of parents or some other relative's house, depending on circumstances. It can also be held at a restaurant or other social setting. If parents are geographically separated, several engagement parties may be held in different locations, depending on travel schedules of the bride and groom and/or other family.

Engagement Annoucements

Who do I contact about engagement announcements and what do they say?

 Engagement announcements can be sent as soon as you become engaged. They typically are sent to your hometown newspaper and to your fiancé's local paper. If you and your fiancé are living and working elsewhere, you can send it to that newspaper too. Look in the announcement section of the newspapers you have an interest in; most print submission instructions. If not, call the paper's society or lifestyle department for their guidelines or go to their web site for this information. Some may allow for on-line submissions. If not, most will want the announcement submission to be double spaced. Many people also submit engagement photos along with the announcement (usually 8x10 or 5x7 glossy B & W). Ask if the photo's will be returned. Ask about deadlines; some take info over the phone or on-line, others may require up to 10 days notice on their forms. Specify on what date you want your announcement to appear (Sunday is popular for weddings). Generally only the month the wedding will happen is mentioned, not the specific date.

Some sample announcements:

Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place in June. [The city is listed only when it is different from where the paper is published.]

If someone's parents are divorced, they are generally both mentioned and wording depends on how friendly they still are. Ms. Nancy Johnson announces the engagement of her daughter, Susan Lynn to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. Miss Johnson is also the daughter of Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis. or Ms. Nancy Johnson and Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

If you are not on good terms with either parent or they are both deceased, you can announce your own engagement. The wording could be something like: Announcement is made of the engagement of Miss Susan Lynn Johnson to Mr. Mark Spritle... or Susan Lynn Johnson, an attorney for Bittle and Bittle, is to be married in June to Mark Spritle, an engineer with Honeywell. Ms. Johnson is the daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson. Mr. Spritle is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

Many people also include employment, education, offices held in professional associations, military service, etc, in their announcements. Nancy and Henry Johnson of Minneapolis and Mary and Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque, are happy to announce the engagement of their children Susan Lynn and Mark Andrew. Susan is a 1994 graduate of West High School and a 1998 graduate of The University of Minnesota. She is currently employed at Bittle and Bittle Law Firm. Mark is a 1994 graduate of King High School and a 1998 graduate of Harvard. He is currently finishing up his Master's degree at Stanford and is employed at Honeywell as an engineer. A June 2000 wedding is planned.