Friday, May 31, 2013

Church Membership

Neither of us are members at a church, but would like a church wedding...what do you suggest?

Each church/denomination is different, so it's best to talk directly to the officiant (pastor, priest, rabbi, etc.) of a church you are considering. Many churches/clergy will marry non-members, although the costs will usually be more than for members. Most clergy also require talking to the engaged couple about their religion prior to performing the ceremony. Some people have used church facilities associated with a University campus, which typically perform weddings for people not affiliated with a specific church. They are often very beautiful locations, as often times are churches/chapels associated with the military or V.A. locations.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

What Do I Do

Help!!!! I don't know the first thing about planning a wedding, and I'm new at this computer thing so I'm not real good at it, I need to know what to do! Everything to do!!!

Plan has all the details you have to think about.

But if you like to read, why not buy books (or go to the library) - many have all the wedding details. There are also many Amazon Kindle books about weddings, including this excellent one:

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Nephews in Wedding

When we were picking out the wedding party, I failed to think that my nephews would be in it. I thought my niece could be a jr bridesmaid and my fiancé's cousin would be the jr groomsmen. We already have the flower girl and ring bearer picked. My mother thought my nephews were going to be in it. Oopss! Forgot to tell her. Well, she told my sister that the boys are going to be in it. Okay, that is fine, they will look and be adorable. One problem, what part will they have? Any suggestions?

Depending on how old your nephews are, they could be ushers or Jr. ushers, candle lighters (light candles just before the mother of the bride is seated and extinguish them at the end of the ceremony - usually between ages 9-14), do a reading of some sort (scripture or poem, etc.), hand out wedding programs to the guests, play an instrument or sing, or be train bearers (carry a lengthy train down the aisle behind the bride - traditionally two boys about equal height are chosen for this - they can be as young as 4 to do this). They could be dressed the same as the Jr. groomsmen.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Edit Brid

How do I edit the bride or groom name in EZWeddingPlanner?

 Go to People and click on the name (which would be either the bride's or groom's name). You can edit these names, but do not delete either of these two. Any other guest names may be safely modified or deleted at any time. If you change the bride or groom name, it may take up to a day for this update to show unless you log out and then log back into the program.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Ceremony Music - Vocal Music for Non-Liturgical Wedding

Ceremony Music - Vocal Music for Non-Liturgical Wedding

Amazing Grace

Collins

Hal Leonard

And I Love You So

McLean

Columbia

Annie's Song

Denver

Cherry Lane

Beautiful

Lightfoot

Warner Bros.

Benedictus

Simon & Garfunkle

 

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Simon & Garfunkle

Hal Leonard

Candle On The Water

Kasha Hirschhorn

Cherry Lane

Can't Help Falling In Love

Peretti/Creatire/Weiss

Hal Leonard

Colour My World

Pankow

Columbia

Could I Have This Dance

 

Hal Leonard

Devoted To You

Bryant

Columbia

Endless Love

 

Hal Leonard

Evergreen

Streisand/Williams

Warner Bros.

Farewell Andromeda

Denver

Cherry Lane

First Time I Ever Saw Your Face

McColl

Columbia

Follow Me

Denver

Cherry Lane

For All We Know

Wilson/James/Karlin

Columbia

For Baby (For Bobby)

Denver

Cherry Lane

Forever Young

Dylan

Warner Bros.

The Hands Of Time (Brian's Song)

Legrand

Warner Bros.

Hawaiian Wedding Song

 

Hal Leonard

Hopelessly Devoted To You

Farrar

Hal Leonard

I Can't Help Falling In Love

 

Columbia

I Don't Know How To Love Him

Rice/Webber

Hal Leonard

I Honestly Love You

Allen/Barry

Columbia

I Just Want To Be Your Everything

Gibb

Hal Leonard

I Only Want To Be With You

 

Hal Leonard

I Won't Last A Day Without You

Williams

Columbia

If

Gates

Warner Bros.

If Ever I Would Leave You

 

Hal Leonard

If I Were A Carpenter

P. P. Mary

Columbia

If We Only Have Love

Brel

Hal Leonard

I'll Never Be Alone

McJuen

 

I'll Never Find Another You (The Promised Land)

The Seekers

 

In My Life

Lennon/McCartney

Cherry Lane

Just The Way You Are

Joel

Columbia

Let It Be

Lennon/McCartney

Cherry Lane

Let It Be Me

Becaud

Hal Leonard

Let's Get Together

Powers

 

Longer

Fogelberg

Columbia

Look To The Rainbow

Lane

Hal Leonard

Lord Of The Dance

Carter

 

Love

Lennon

Cherry Lane

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

Webster/Fain

Columbia

Love Me Tender

Presley/Matson

Hal Leonard

Love Song

Murray

Warner Bros.

Love Song, A

Loggins

 

Love Story

Lai

Columbia

More

Ortolani/Oliviero

Hal Leonard

Morning Has Broken

Stevens

Warner Bros.

My Cup Runneth Over

Jones

Hal Leonard

My Sweet Lady

Denver

Cherry Lane

My Treasure

Brown

Sparrow Birdwing

Nadia's Theme

DeVorzon & Botkin

Warner Bros.

Our Love

Carpenters

 

People

Streisand

Hal Leonard

People Alone (The Competition)

 

Columbia

Perhaps Love

Denver

Cherry Lane

Poems, Prayers, and Promises

Denver

Cherry Lane

The Rose

McBroom

Warner Bros.

So Many Ways

King

 

Sometimes

Mancini

Columbia

Song Is Love, The

P. P. Mary

Warner Bros.

Sound Of Music

Rogers and Hammerstein

Hal Leonard

Speak, Softly Love

Rota

 

Starting Here, Starting Now

Maltby

Hal Leonard

Sunrise, Sunset

Harnick & Bock

Hal Leonard

Sunshine On My Shoulder

Denver

Cherry Lane

That's The Way

Terry

Sparrow Birdwing

This Is the Day

Brown

 

Through The Eyes Of Love

Sager/Hamlisch

Columbia

Till There Was You

Wilson

Hal Leonard

Time For Us, A

Rota/Kusik/Snyder

Columbia

Time In A Bottle

Croce

Warner Bros.

To Love

Cason/Gibb

 

Today

Sparks

Columbia

Together Forever

Jones

 

Top Of The World

Carpenters

Columbia

True Love

Porter

Hal Leonard

Truly

Richie

Cherry Lane

Try To Remember

 

Hal Leonard

Turn, Turn, Turn

Byrds

Hal Leonard

Twelfth Of Never

Mathis

Hal Leonard

Up Where We Belong

 

Columbia

Wedding Song

Collins

 

Wedding Song (There Is Love)

Stookey

Warner Bros.

You've Only Just Begun

Williams/Nichols

Columbia

What A Difference You've Made In My Life

Jordan

Hal Leonard

What Are You Doing The Rest O Your Life

Lagrand

 

Whenever I Call You Friend

Loggins

Warner Bros.

With You I'm Born Again

Conners/Shire

Columbia

Wonder Of You, The

Knight

Hal Leonard

Would You Walk With Me?

Colter

 

You And I

Wonder

Columbia

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

Wonder

Columbia

You Light Up My Life

Brooks

Columbia

You Needed Me

Goodrum, Murray

Hal Leonard

CEREMONY MUSIC - CURRENT VOCAL MUSIC FOR NON-LITURGICAL WEDDINGS

After All (from Chances Are)

Cher & Cetera

Belwin

All I Ask Of you (Phantom of the Opera)

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Hal Leonard

Because I Love You

Brooks/Stevie B.

Hal Leonard

(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Adams/Lange/Kamen

Warner/Belwin

From A Distance

J. Gould/B. Mitler

Belwin

Forever In Love (instrumental)

Kenny G.

Hal Leonard

Here and Now

Luther Vandross-Steel & Elliot

Hal Leonard

Have I Told You Lately

Van Morrison/Rod Stewart

Hal Leonard

I Cross My Heart

George Strait/Doff Haz

Warner/Belwin

Love Of A Lifetime

Levety Anare/Firehouse

Hal Leonard

Somewhere Out There (American Tale)

Horne/Mann/Weil

Hal Leonard

The Greatest Love Of All

Creed/Masser/Whitney Houston

Belwin

The Wind Beneath My Wings (From Beaches)

Henley/Siban

Warner

Unchained Melody

Aarek/North/Righteous Brothers

Hal Leonard

Vows Go Unbroken

Burr/Kaz/Kenny Rogers

Hal Leonard

When I Fall In Love

Celine Dion & Clive Griffin

Hal Leonard

Whole New World (Aladdin)

Alan Menkon & Tim Rice

Hal Leonard

You're The Inspiration

Cetera/Foster/Chicago

Belwin

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Reception Music

RECEPTION MUSIC

The music at your reception will set the tone for the festivities. Once you have decided on the kind of reception you want, you will then need to determine the kind of music you want. Your choice of entertainment should be made far in advance, as the best bands are usually booked early. There are probably local booking agents who represent and have demo tapes for many bands. You can specify your budget and they can provide you with many choices. Be aware that they also charge a percentage of the total as their fee, so negotiate up-front. For very formal, traditional weddings a big band or orchestra will give you a better ambience than a DJ.

In selecting a band:

  • Discuss with the leader the type of music you want played, as well as the kind of music you do not want.
  • Discuss what specific selections you want played and when.
  • Find out how many musicians there are, what they will wear, whether or not they play continuously or take short breaks. Specify the exact number of musicians you are hiring and what instruments they play.
  • If there are certain musicians whom you want to appear personally (vocalist or specific instrument) specify them by name in your contract.
  • Ask how the rate is computed – hourly or on a set fee basis.
  • Specify in the contract the date and location of the reception and at what times the band should arrive and leave.
  • Ask for referrals or ask to listen to them perform. Take time to go hear them at some of their next engagements.
  • Some bands also use professional staging and lighting effects. Be sure your reception site has adequate room for their equipment and enough electrical outlets.
  • Ask if you are required to provide the musicians with food.
  • You will probably need to pay a deposit, maybe up to 50%. Reserve some of the total payment till they are finished playing. This way, if you have disagreements, you can negotiate a final fee.
  • Get everything agreed upon in writing, including the names of the musicians and hours they will be performing. Also include any overtime rates.

You may also want to consider contacting a disc jockey, who can usually provide a wide variety of musical selections and may act as your master of ceremonies. A DJ will be less expensive than a live band and will require less space for equipment. Another benefit is that your guests will hear the original songs played as they remember them. And with a DJ, you will have continuous music, whereas live musicians generally require breaks.The volume is also more easily adjusted by a DJ than with a live band.
In selecting a DJ:

  • Ask for other wedding references and call them.
  • Discuss what music you want and don't want.
  • See if you can provide your own favorites if the DJ doesn't have them.
  • Specify in the contract the date and location of the reception and at what times the DJ should arrive and leave.
  • Find out how many hours are included in the fee and what are overtime rates.
  • Ask how many breaks he/she will take and for how long.
  • Ask if you are required to provide the DJ with a meal.
  • Check on what equipment he/she will bring and double check the room facilities.
  • Ask if he/she has backup equipment and/or a backup DJ in case of illness.
  • The DJ's attire should match the formality of your wedding.
  • Get everything agreed upon in writing.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Ceremony Music - Processionals and Recessionals

CEREMONY MUSIC - PROCESSIONALS AND RECESSIONALS

A Wedding Processional Near Gray
Aginecourt Hymm Dunstable Presser in Treasury Of Organ Music ed. Biggs
Bridal Chorus (from Lohengrin) Wagner G. Schirmer, Belwin, and other wedding books
Cortege Young Young, 11 Organ Pieces, Flammer
Epithalame (Sortie) Willan Berandol, BMI Canada
Epithalame (Rise Up, My Love) Willan Oxford
Fanfare and Processional Wagner Flammer
Festival Flourish Jacob Oxford, Album of Praise
Hornpipe (from "Suite From Water Music") Handel J. Fischer, Novello-Wedding Album
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring Bach Concordia, Oxford, etc.
Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee Beethoven Hope, Everything For The Wedding Organist
Largo (from Xerxes) Handel Lorenz, Handel Made Practical For The Church Organist
My Spirit Be Joyful Bach Presser, Belwin
National hymn Warren Hymnals
Now Thank We All Our God Bach Belwin, others
Now Thank We All Our God Johnson Augsburg
Organ Processional for Manuals Bender Concordia
Praise My Soul, The King Of Heaven Goss Hymnals
Praise To The Lord Manz Concordia, Choral Improvisations Set II
Prelude in Classic Style Young Lorenz
Processional of Joy (Beethoven's Ninth Symphony) Beethoven C. Fischer
Procession On "Westminster Abbey" Wetzler Concordia
Rigaudon Campra Belwin
Saint Anthony Chorale Hayden Hymnals
Thanks Be To Thee (Arioso) Handel Hymnals
Triumphal March Grieg Peters
Toccata From the 5th Symphony Widor G. Schirmer, Kalmus
Trumpet Fanfare (Rondeau) (Theme from television series Masterpiece Theatre) Clerambault Mercury, Treasury Of Early Organ Music ed. Biggs
Variations on A Theme From Hayden Brahms G. Schirmer
Wedding Processional And Air Leupold Augsburg

Friday, May 24, 2013

Ceremony Music - Organ and Other Instruments

Ceremony Music - Organ and Other Instruments

Alain, J. – Trois Movements (O & Flt)

 

LeDuc

Album Of 30 Classical Pieces, Vol. I & II

 

International

Bach/Grace – Jesu Joy Of Man's Desiring (O & Vln)

 

Oxford

Bach/Grace – Sheep May Safely (O & Strings)

 

Oxford

Classical Album (Oboe & Piano)

 

Boosey & Hawkes

Faure/Wilson – Pavae (Flt & Piano)

 

A. Broude

Flute Music Of The Baroque (Flt & Piano)

 

G. Schirmer

Satie – Three Gymnopedies (Clar, Flt or Oboe, Piano)

 

Elkan

Solos For The Oboe Player (Oboe, Piano)

 

G. Schirmer

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Ceremony Music - Organ Collections

Ceremony Music - Organ Collections

Baroque Album, Vol. I & II

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Baroque Music for Manuals, Vol. I & II

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Bliss-Royal Fanfares and Interludes

 

Novello

Bloch-Four Wedding Marches

 

G. Schirmer

Book Of Wedding Pieces, A

 

Oxford

Ceremonial Music For Organ, Book I & II

 

Oxford

Classical Wedding Music, Vol. I & II

 

Lorenz

Diane Bish Wedding Book

Arr. Bish

Gentry/Hinshaw

Glenschen-Organ Pieces For Wedding And General Use

 

Augsburg

Handel-Fireworks Music

 

Belwin

Handel-Suite From Water Music

 

J. Fisher

Handel-Water Music

 

Novello

Incidental Music For Weddings and Other Occasions, ed. Dearnley

 

Basil Ramsey

Modern organ Music, Vol. II & III

 

Oxford

Music For Weddings, ed. Rossine

 

Belwin

Second Book Of Wedding Pieces

 

Oxford

Three Trumpet Tunes

Arr. Johnson

Augsburg

Wedding Album For Manuals

 

Novello

Wedding Music Book I, II, III & IV

Arr. Johnson

Augsburg

Wedding Music, Vol. I & II

 

Concordia

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Ceremony Music - Organ and Brass

Ceremony Music - Organ and Brass

Bach/Biggs-My Spirit Be Joyful (O & Trpt)

 

Mercury

Bach/Biggs-Three Wedding Chorals

 

Associated

Baroque Composers Of the Chapels Royal (O & 2 Trpt)

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Baroque Music For Weddings (O& 1 or 2 Trpt)

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Baroque Music For Organ (O & 1 or 2 Trpt)

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Bender-Wedding Sonata (O & Trpt, Trbn or Ob)

 

Hinshaw

Charpentier - Pelude To A Te Deum (O & Trpt)

 

Brass Press

Clarke/Kingsburg – Trumpt Voluntary in D (O & 3 Trpt)

 

Gray

Clark/Nelhybel – Trumpet Voluntary (O & 2 Trpt, 1 Trbn)

 

Hope

Gabrieli – Canzon Duodecimi Toni (O & BQ)

 

Augsburg

George – Wedding Music (O & Trpt)

 

Gray

Green/Boyce – A Suite Of Trumpet Voluntaries (O & 2 'D' Trpt)

 

Brass Press

Handel/Wolff – Six Processionals (O & 1 or 2 Trpt)

 

Concordia

Johnson – Eight Fanfares For Organ And Brass (O & BQ)

 

Augsburg

Johnson – Festival Pieces For Brass (Processional O & Trpt)

 

Augsburg

Johnson – Tune For Trumpet (O & Trmpt)

 

Augsburg

Marcello – Psalm XVIII (O & Trmpt)

 

Gray

Mouret – Sinfonies De Fanfares (O & Trpt)

 

Gray

Music Of Jubilee (O & 1 or 2 Trpt)

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Powell – Antiphon For Two Trumpets and Organ

 

Concordia

Purcell – Sonata For Trumpet And Organ

 

Gray

Purcell – Suite in C Major (O & BQ)

 

Billaudot

Purcell – Three Celebrated Trumpet Tunes (O & Trpt)

 

GIA

Shaw – Grand Processsional (O & B Sextet)

 

Sacred Music Press

Sinfonia A 2 Trombe (O & 2 'D' Trpt)

 

Brass Press

Skinnel – Wedding Processional (O & BQ)

 

Wimbledon

Stanley – Voluntary In Re Majeur (O & Trpt)

 

Billaudot

Strauss, R. – Festival Procession (O & 3 Trpt)

 

Lienau/Peters

Suite For Organ From The French Baroque (O & 1 or 2 Trpt)

Arr. Wolff

Concordia

Telemann – Air De Trompette (O & Trpt)

 

Brass Press

Telemann – Airs For Trumpet And Organ

 

Gray

Telemann – Heroick Musick For Trumpet And Organ

 

SMP

Torelli – Sinfonia Con Tromba (O & Trpt)

 

King

Watson – Four Trumpet And Organ Arrangements

 

J. Fisher

Zabel – Procession (O & BQ)

   

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Ceremony Music - Duets

Ceremony Music - Duets

And Now We Join

Halfvarson

Hope in Everything For The Wedding Soloist

Beginning Today

Ducote

NALR in Like A Seal On Your Heart

Bless, O Lord, These Rings

Roff

GIA

Gift Of Love, The

Hopson

Hope in Folk Songs For Weddings

Greatest Of These Is Love

Bitgood

Gray

Lord Bless You, The

Bach

Concordia

Mary's Song

Joncas

NALR in Like A Seal On Your Heart

May God Smile On You

Bach

Peters

Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

Stainer

G. Schirmer

Only A Shadow

Landry

NALR in Like A Seal On Your Heart

Rainbow

Ducote

NALR in Like A Seal On Your Heart

There Is Only One Love

Danner

Triune in Love Is The Melody

Wedding Anthem (Psalm 128 text)

Oliver

Novello

Wedding Cantata (Vergnugte Pleissenstadt)

Bach

Associated

Wedding Prayer

Ault

NALR in Like A Seal On Your Heart

Wedding Prayer

Dunlap

G. Schirmer

Whither Thou Goest

Hildach

Broude

Monday, May 20, 2013

Dance Music

DANCE MUSIC

Music for Bride's Dance with Dad

Daddy's Little Girl (Burke and Gerlach)
How Sweet It Is (to Be Loved by You) (Marvin Gaye)
My Girl (The Temptations)
My Heart Belongs to Daddy (Cole Porter)
Someone to Watch Over Me (Linda Ronstadt)
Sunshine of My Life (Stevie Wonder)
Sunrise, Sunset (Fiddler on the Roof)
Thanks for the Memory (Bob Hope)
The Way You Look Tonight (Frank Sinatra)
Through the Years (Kenny Rogers)
Turn Around (Harry Belafonte)
What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler)

Music for Groom's Dance with Mom

Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler)
Greatest Love of All (Whitney Houston)
I Am Your Child (Barry Manilow)
I Remember You (Bette Midler)
Love of My Life (Carly Simon)
You Decorated My Life (Kenny Rogers)
You Are So Beautiful (Joe Cocker)
Just the Way You Are (Billy Joel)

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Ceremony music - current vocal music for non-liturgical weddings

CEREMONY MUSIC - CURRENT VOCAL MUSIC FOR NON-LITURGICAL WEDDINGS

After All (from Chances Are)

Cher & Cetera

Belwin

All I Ask Of you (Phantom of the Opera)

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Hal Leonard

Because I Love You

Brooks/Stevie B.

Hal Leonard

(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

Adams/Lange/Kamen

Warner/Belwin

From A Distance

J. Gould/B. Mitler

Belwin

Forever In Love (instrumental)

Kenny G.

Hal Leonard

Here and Now

Luther Vandross-Steel & Elliot

Hal Leonard

Have I Told You Lately

Van Morrison/Rod Stewart

Hal Leonard

I Cross My Heart

George Strait/Doff Haz

Warner/Belwin

Love Of A Lifetime

Levety Anare/Firehouse

Hal Leonard

Somewhere Out There (American Tale)

Horne/Mann/Weil

Hal Leonard

The Greatest Love Of All

Creed/Masser/Whitney Houston

Belwin

The Wind Beneath My Wings (From Beaches)

Henley/Siban

Warner

Unchained Melody

Aarek/North/Righteous Brothers

Hal Leonard

Vows Go Unbroken

Burr/Kaz/Kenny Rogers

Hal Leonard

When I Fall In Love

Celine Dion & Clive Griffin

Hal Leonard

Whole New World (Aladdin)

Alan Menkon & Tim Rice

Hal Leonard

You're The Inspiration

Cetera/Foster/Chicago

Belwin

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Mothers' Colors

What color and style of dresses do the mother of the bride and mother of groom wear for a formal wedding?

The mother of the bride should wear a color that blends and complements the bridesmaids' dresses, but does not match the exact color. Avoid all black or all white. The "mob" usually selects her dress first and then describes it to the mother of the groom, allowing enough time for her to shop. Both mothers can wear the same color, but not the same dress (preferably they should be the same style and length). For a very formal, large wedding before 6pm (over 200 guests): long or short dresses, not quite as formal as evening wear. For a formal wedding before 6pm (100 or more guests): elegant dresses or suits. In any event, both mothers should go with dresses that look good on them (color, figure size, personal sense of style, etc.) and they do not have to match.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Mixed Marriage

My fiance is Jewish and I am not. Any advice?

We have a daughter whose husband is Jewish and she is not. They structured the ceremony (in 1998) to include a bit of both traditions. Married under the canopy, breaking the glass, married by a rabbi (outside) etc. They now have two children and are doing wonderfully well and both families get along great.

It's important to discuss the role religion will play in your lives, now and when you have children. Our grandsons gets both the Jewish holidays and the Christian ones - although young, in a few years they will surely have religious questions that will need answers.

Now to the planning:

Start looking for an officiant who will perform interfaith marriages. Some Rabbi's will, but many will not. The Unitarian church is one place that will perform interfaith weddings for non-members and encourages couples to design a service that reflects both of their traditions. There are also numbers of "freelance" clergy who will perform this type of ceremony anywhere.

You could have an outside wedding somewhere which works well for mixed religions, or a civil ceremony in a public office.

You could choose one religious ceremony over the other, which could work if one of you has strong religious ties and the other doesn't. You could have a secondary cleric of your choice to offer a special prayer or offer a blessing during the service or reception.

If you both have strong religious beliefs (or your families do), you may want to have 2 ceremonies, or 1 main ceremony and then a "blessing of the marriage ceremony (the same day or shortly thereafter), similar to the first, but without the exchange of rings again.

Talk with both families about how they feel about various traditions in weddings that they feel strongly about. This could avoid problems when the time comes.

The Advice section of EZWeddingPlanner has a "Jewish Weddings topic that deals with lots of details of that side. There are also other topics here that may help you.

There are several good books that talk about inter-faith marriages - check them out at your local library - "The New Jewish Wedding" by Anita Diamant and there's one with ceremony details called "The Children of Noah" by Rabbi Rebecca Alpert, Rabbi Linda Holtzman and Arthur Waskow.

Good luck,

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Memorial Candle

We would like to give a 12 year old daughter a family ring and we would also like to light a memorial candle. We don't have a clue on what to say or do. Please help.

I think it's very touching and a great gesture to give your daughter a family ring - it should help to make her feel a big part of this ceremony and family. If she is included in the wedding party, she would already be standing and close to both of you. After your ring ceremony, you could either have her move to stand by you or you both could walk to her for her ring ceremony. Or, if she is seated, the same choices hold true. Instead of the wording of "with this ring I thee wed" you could say something like "with this ring, we unite our family" or "as a symbol of our love for you, we give you this ring" or wording that expresses your desires in giving it to her.

As for the candle lighting, you could just light it without comment in the ceremony and then in the program print your sentiment. Or it could be read/spoken as you light the candle. Or the candle could be lit just before the ceremony and burn throughout. For my daughter's wedding, both her father and the groom's father have died. Here's what they printed on the back of their program: Our only regret for this day is that our fathers were not able to be physically present. They are both continually in our thoughts and we have honored them today by lighting two candles on the altar in their memory. They may have left our sides, but will always be present with us in our hearts.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Meeting With Clergy

Isn't pre-marital counseling the same as meeting with a clergy member to discuss about our marriage?

It may or may not be. Some religions require pre-marital counseling before you can get married in their church. Some do not. This is much more in-depth discussions about your views on marriage, religion and children, etc.

But in any case, you would want to meet with the clergy member to discuss the details of your actual service - requirements, schedules, rehearsals, etc. which is separate from counseling.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Master of Ceremony

We are planning on having a Master and Mistress of ceremony for my son's wedding, can you tell me exactly what their job entails. The Grooms God Parents have agreed to hold this position but are very concerned that they do the right thing at the right time. Please help their wedding is on June 3rd.

 Here's some suggestions for wedding reception order - feel free to personalize this to your preferences.

If the receiving line is done at the reception, after the line and after the cocktail hour is finished, the guests move into the main dining area and are seated. When the guests are all seated, the M/MOC introduces the bridal party (check beforehand on preferences of names and pronunciations). If they have not already been seated also, they can have a procession - beginning with bride's parents, groom's parents, flower girl and ring bearer, bridesmaids and groomsmen, best man and maid of honor, and finally the bride and groom. If the receiving line is done after the ceremony, introductions can still be made at the reception, with or without a procession.

The first dance with the bride and groom only can take place right after the introductions above or after the meal is done. Toward the end of the song, the M/MOC tells the bridal party to join in and then guests may also be included if you like. One consideration is the length of time the photographer will be at the reception and if you want the first dance captured on his/her film.

The cake cutting is introduced by the M/MOC and they can direct guests to the location. This is usually done before the meal, so the cake can be served in sequence after the meal, without having guests get up and down.

Just before the main meal is served, the best man is introduced and he toasts the couple. The maid of honor can also toast if she wishes. And it is customary at religious weddings to have the officiant say a prayer before everyone eats (prepare him/her in advance to do this). If there is a buffet, some direction may be announced on what is where and perhaps a table order for forming the lines.

Toward the end of the reception, the M/MOC can gather eligible ladies to the middle of the floor and the bride tosses her bouquet. The groom can remove the garter and toss it to eligible men.

Other events can be announced, such as slide shows of bride/groom's growing up, professional dancers or entertainers, the dollar dance, disposable cameras on each table (and what guests are expected to do with them), etc.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Marriage Licenses

MARRIAGE LICENSES

Marriage license requirements are state-regulated and may be obtained from the Clerk of Courts in most county courthouses. Requirements vary from state to state, but generally include the following:

  • Applying for and paying the fee for the marriage license. Make your application early enough to allow for any required waiting period before issuance. There is also a waiting period between the time the license is issued and when the ceremony may be performed, and the license must be signed by the officiating person and witnesses. Also determine if the marriage license has an expiration date by which the marriage must be performed.
  • Meeting of residency requirements of the state and/or county where the ceremony will take place.
  • Meeting the legal age requirements for both bride and groom, or having parental permission if underage.
  • Presenting upon application for the license any required identification, birth or baptismal certificates, marriage eligibility or other documents.
  • Obtaining a medical examination and/or blood test for both bride and groom, used for detection of communicable diseases, particularly venereal. Whether or not this is required, the couple owes it to themselves to begin their married life in good health. This is also an excellent time to discuss any questions on birth control or child-bearing with the doctor.
  • If you have been married before, you may need to bring a copy of your Divorce Decree.

As an example, below is the statute for marriage licenses for the State of Minnesota as of 1998.

517.08 Application for license.
Subdivision 1. Renumbered by amendment subds 1a,1b

Subd. 1a. Application for a marriage license shall be made upon a form provided for the purpose and shall contain the following information:

(1) the full names of the parties and the sex of each party;

(2) their post office addresses and county and state of residence;

(3) their full ages;

(4) if either party has previously been married, the party's married name, and the date, place and court in which the marriage was dissolved or annulled or the date and place of death of the former spouse;

(5) if either party is a minor, the name and address of the minor's parents or guardian;

(6) whether the parties are related to each other, and, if so, their relationship;

(7) the name and date of birth of any child of which both parties are parents, born before the making of the application, unless their parental rights and the parent and child relationship with respect to the child have been terminated;

(8) address of the bride and groom after the marriage to which the court administrator shall send a certified copy of the marriage certificate; and

(9) the full names the parties will have after marriage and the parties' social security numbers. The social security numbers must be collected for the application but must not appear on the marriage license.

Subd. 1b. Term of license; fee. The court administrator shall examine upon oath the party applying for a license relative to the legality of the contemplated marriage. If at the expiration of a five-day period, on being satisfied that there is no legal impediment to it, the court administrator shall issue the license, containing the full names of the parties before and after marriage, and county and state of residence, with the district court seal attached, and make a record of the date of issuance. The license shall be valid for a period of six months. In case of emergency or extraordinary circumstances, a judge of the district court of the county in which the application is made, may authorize the license to be issued at any time before the expiration of the five days. The court administrator shall collect from the applicant a fee of $70 for administering the oath, issuing, recording, and filing all papers required, and preparing and transmitting to the state registrar of vital statistics the reports of marriage required by this section. If the license should not be used within the period of six months due to illness or other extenuating circumstances, it may be surrendered to the court administrator for cancellation, and in that case a new license shall issue upon request of the parties of the original license without fee. A court administrator who knowingly issues or signs a marriage license in any manner other than as provided in this section shall pay to the parties aggrieved an amount not to exceed $1,000.

Subd. 1c. Disposition of license fee. Of the marriage license fee collected pursuant to subdivision 1b, the court administrator shall pay $55 to the state treasurer to be deposited as follows:

(1) $50 in the general fund;

(2) $3 in the special revenue fund to be appropriated to the commissioner of children, families, and learning for supervised visitation facilities; and

(3) $2 in the special revenue fund to be appropriated to the commissioner of health for developing and implementing the MN ENABL program.

Copyright 1998 by the Office of Revisor of Statutes, State of Minnesota.

This information is courtesy of http://www.ezweddingplanner.com

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Marine Corp Invitations

Do you have any idea where I can find any Marine Corp wedding invitations.

 Regency Thermographers in Waynesboro, PA has a catalog of invitations that includes the Marine Corp logo (eagle/globe/anchor). They have several choices, but the woman I spoke with said she thought catalog # 6-4002 would be what you wanted. Their customer service phone number is 800-524-5056 and they said if you called, they can fax you the page of these logos to see if it's what you want. They don't sell directly to individuals, but said if you gave them your zip code, they could refer you to local stores who would have their catalog from which you could order the invitations, thank you cards, etc. (Regency does the printing for the Marine Corp for cards, etc.)

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Maid or Matron?

My sister is divorced. Would she be my maid or matron of honor?

 The Maid of Honor is a single, never been married woman. The Matron of Honor is a married, divorced or widowed woman. The Maid of Honor takes precedence in the service if you have both a Maid and a Matron of Honor.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Out of Town Guests

Who is responsible for the out of town guests' accommodations? (bride, groom, or guest)

General rule of thumb: If they are in the bridal party, then bride and groom pay. Others, guests, relatives, etc. pay their own way. Of course if someone needs help and you can afford to help out, do. You would also be kind to make the hotel arrangements for them, placing a small welcome gift in the room, like bottled water, chocolate, wine, fruit etc. - with a welcome note.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Who Gives the Shower

Who is supposed to give the bride a bridal shower?

Typically, it is the maid of honor and/or other bridesmaids who host the shower. Any friend can also host one. Immediate family generally do not host showers (mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Engagement Party

Should the bride & groom have the engagement party or does one of our families have it for us?

The groom's parents can call the bride's parents and express their happiness about the upcoming marriage. Engagement parties can be hosted by the groom's or bride's parents (it can be anything from a buffet, barbecue to a formal party) This is an opportunity for the two families to get to know each other and to introduce you to their family and friends. In fact, an engagement party can be hosted by any family member - or even a friend - who would like to have this party for you. If neither family steps forward with an engagement party, the two of you can invite the parents out for a luncheon or some other get together for them to meet. Generally, both sets of parents attend the engagement party, whoever hosts it.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

East or West

I currently live in CA, but my whole family is back East, groom's family in CA (5 total), he wants to have something out here so his clients don't get offended. I want to do the whole thing back east because that is where I am from....what should I do? Do I just make my plans or try to be fair, this topic has already become a source of argument.

A lot of folks have been in this predicament. In fact it happened with one of my daughters who lives back east but is from the west. She got married in her husband's area because her friends and his family were much more numerous. Her family flew east and stayed for a few days for the festivities. The final decision was made by the number of people who would have to travel to get to the wedding.

Some solve the problem by having the first wedding at the bride's family's area because traditionally the bride's parents pay for the wedding. Some even have two weddings - the second being less elaborate. We've heard of people video taping the first wedding and playing it at the second, less formal wedding.

But most solve the problem by having two receptions with the wedding at the place with more family attending. A wedding East and a reception in CA which would include clients could solve your problem. You can choose to wear your wedding dress at both occasions or just a dressy cocktail dress to the second reception.

Second (or third) receptions may be just as formal as the first wedding reception, complete with printed invitations, wedding cake, champagne, and receiving line. Or, they may be very informal get-togethers, or anything in between. It's totally up to you.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Where to Register

Where do you recommend that I register?

Generally brides register at major department stores in their area (Macys, Bloomingdales, Robinson May, JC Penney, etc.). Also stores like Target or Wal-Mart have a large variety of merchandise which are good for bridal showers as well as wedding gifts. Other interesting places to register are stores like Williams Sonoma, Crate and Barrel, or Pottery Barn. You can register at any store that has items of interest to you and your fiancé, including sporting goods stores or Home Depot. We recently went to a wedding and the only place they registered was Amazon.com (where you can get almost anything). You can register in as many stores as you like. Many stores and other merchants also have Internet on-line registries for your convenience.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

When to Mail Invitations

When should invitations be mailed out?

Go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements, click on the light bulb on the right. This gives suggestions for when and how to mail. For example: Wedding invitations are to be mailed four to six weeks prior to the wedding date. They should all be mailed at the same time.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

When to Have Engagement Party

How for away from our wedding should we be having the engagement party. None of the books give a general time.

You can have an engagement party as soon as you become engaged. Some people time it for just before or just after a newspaper announcement of the engagement. I have found one source that said no farther out than one year and no closer to the wedding than six months. Obviously this is not firm, since some people get engaged and married within a six month time frame. Also, some people have 2 years or more of engagement before the actual wedding.

The engagement party is really for both families to get together and get to know each other better. So, the earlier the better, especially if wedding finances need to be discussed and agreed on by both families.