Inter-marriage between Faiths

My fiancé and I are of different faiths. He is Catholic, and I am of an alternative path. We agreed that we would be married by an official of the Catholic church (for him) but have no bible readings. We would plan all readings ... The questions are (a) I heard a Catholic church will not marry a non-Catholic to a Catholic. Is this true? (b) Can we plan the readings ourselves? We decided that we don't want bible readings (for me). (c) Can I include a person of my own faith in the actual marriage process in addition to the church clergy, even though they have no real legal power to marry us?

Besides the Catholic Ceremony Preparation, today most dioceses permit mixed marriages, i.e..Catholic & a Protestant or of the Jewish Faith. The ceremony may take place in the church. Contact your parish priest for hours when the ceremony may take place. The ceremonies are usually performed before six o'clock in the evening.

In dioceses where mixed marriages are not permitted in the church, the ceremony is performed either in the presbytery, sacristy, or a private chapel designated for said marriage. The ceremony is simple and without the Nuptial Mass.

The Catholic Party must have a baptismal Certificate, and besides filling out the prenuptial questionnaire, both parties sign promises guaranteeing to baptize and educate in the catholic faith alone, all children born of the marriage. The non-Catholic must promise also that he/she will not in any way interfere with the catholic party in the practice of his/her religion.

The Catholic ceremony may be personalized with family participation. Traditional vows are required with only slight variations, which must be approved by the priest.

Interfaith marriages are very common today. Priests often co-officiate with the clergy of other faith.

Marriage is a Sacrament in the Catholic Church, so regardless of where it takes place or what adaptations in form are made, the dignity and solemnity of the occasion must always be upheld.

[Answer compliments of Dianna Emerson, Bonne Foi Bridals & Weddings]

Different Budget

What if we have a different budget than the $15,000.00 on the EZWeddingPlanner web page? Could you divide it up for us with a budget of $8,000?

You will pretty much have to do that yourself. It really depends on how many will be at your wedding. You need to decide which items are really important to you and allocate the money accordingly. For instance, you may want to have a private ceremony and larger reception, or spend more on photography and less on flowers or food. Or have a simple ceremony and a grand honeymoon. Or invite a small number of relatives and/or close friends and have an elaborate reception. You get the idea... It is imperative to discuss with parents or other wedding benefactors who is going to pay for what and how much everyone is willing to contribute, before you commit to expensive choices.

Destin, Florida

My daughter is planning a beach wedding in Destin, Florida next spring. Any neat ideas? We live in Mississippi, the bride lives in New York City and the groom is in the military, so we will be planning this wedding long distance. Since this will be a relatively small wedding, I would like to make it nice.......but we are on a budget. Any suggestions would be nice.

Try going to a major search engine (like Google) and searching on "Destin and FL". This will lead you to local hotels, bed and breakfasts, boat rentals, and other local vendors. Lots of these are directly on the beach and may provide a great wedding/reception location with facilities and people on staff to help you plan the details. If you book far enough in advance, you may be able to take over an entire B&B, depending on the number of people traveling to the wedding and your budget.

You may also want to consider using a wedding coordinator in the Destin area who can be a great help finding and dealing with local resources before any of you arrive. A local coordinator will certainly give you piece of mind and take a lot of the stress out of planning long-distance yourselves.

If the wedding is directly on the beach, consider some of the following:

A beach cookout and swimming in the ocean - guests come prepared and dress casually. You might want to have a tent or large umbrellas available at the beach so those who need to get out of the sun have somewhere to go. Also have lots of water available (to drink). Bring sun screen for guests who may have forgotten theirs. Bring blankets to sit and eat on (also in case the guests don't come prepared). You may need permits to host a party on the beach. Consider port-a-potty rental if you are far away from rest room facilities. Outside weddings are always subject to weather, so you may want to have a plan B in case the weather is nasty.

Delete Tables

How do I delete tables in the Seating Plan of EZWeddingPlanner?

To delete the last table, first be sure Use number in family is selected. Then, if the last table is empty, check Del on the table and Make the Changes. Repeat until all the tables you want gone, are. This instruction is repeated near the bottom of the Seating page.

You can also add more tables if you need them, so don't worry about deleting too many tables.

Deceased Parent

My fiance's biological father is deceased and his mother is remarried, my parents were never married and neither are remarried (I share my fathers last name), we want to include both of our sets of parents on the invitation and don't know how to word it?

Go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements in EZWeddingPlanner, click on the light bulb on the right. That has lots of advice and sample wordings. Here are also a few suggestions:

Mary Johnson and John Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Nicole Martin to Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Mark Smith and Mr. Mike Anderson (deceased) on date, etc...	Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin together with Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Smith and the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc....
Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc...	or a religious version which doesn't list all the parents: Desiring God's will for their lives and believing that includes each other Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents invite you to share their joy as they are united in marriage on date, etc.
Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith (and the late Mike Anderson) request the honour of your presence at their marriage on....

Dancing

What type of music should be played to facilitate a fun, party-like atmosphere to a wedding with a family who doesn't normally dance?

If many of the guests have a certain ethnic background, perhaps some music typical of that country would break the ice. Also, slower dances may tend to entice some of the older couples to dance (unless they are used to Polkas, etc.). If you have a DJ or Master of Ceremonies, they can work the guests and invite them to dance. Familiar songs may also do the trick. A DJ will have suggestions.

You may also get the help of the people in your wedding party. Ask them to mix-it up a bit and ask various guests to dance with them. This also applies to the bride/groom. Very few people will refuse to dance with the bride/groom if asked. And, once there are several couples on the dance floor, some of those people who may be shy to dance, may then join in.

Invite Co-workers

Is it appropriate to invite co-workers and boss's from work to your wedding?

If you are also friends with them and have social contact beyond your office contact, you can certainly invite them to your wedding. But they should not be just casual acquaintances, which would probably cover most of your co-workers. Inviting them or not may also depend on the size of your guest list and your budget. Typically, business associates and coworkers can be the first to drop off your list, if you need to cut it down a bit. You could send them wedding announcements after the fact, which can also include your name preference (changing or keeping your maiden name, etc.) and new address, etc. If you have many co-workers who you feel close to, but did not invite to the wedding, you could have a casual postwedding party or after-work affair when you return from your honeymoon.

If you work in a very small company and there are a very few employees, you may consider inviting them because this is generally a much more intimate group than that of a larger company. It also depends on the size of your budget, any limitations on reception seating, etc.

How to Count Children's Food

I'm planning our weddding by myself, so of course I have many questions. One very simple question is regarding children. Our reception dinner will be simple and accurate. My question is, should children be counted as an adult plate, or are we supposed to count 2 children as 1 adult? We don't want to be short food, but since our budget is tight, we don't want mounds of the food left over either, any ideas. A lot of children are going to be attending, enough so that they will make a significant difference.

This question really should be put to whoever is preparing/serving your reception meal. Some count by plate, regardless of who's eating from it. Some may have children's portions which they would charge less for. And if it's a buffet rather than a sit-down service, there may be different charges for children vs adults. The charging scheme varies with location. If you are preparing the food vs a hotel chef for instance, then your thought is probably close - to count two children as one adult for amount. It's also probably a good bet that elderly people will eat much less than younger (teens & 20's age) people, so quantity eaten will vary by the type of guests you are inviting.

Pre-marital Counseling

We are going to get married in Texas but live in Maryland. Could you help us find someone who performs pre-marital counseling?

Generally the pre-marital counseling is associated with marriages held in a church or synagogue. The requirements differ with religions and churches. Our best suggestion is to contact the officiant who will perform your marriage and discuss pre-marital counseling and/or if you regularly go to a church where you live, discuss this with your clergyperson. If you do not regularly attend anywhere, contact a local church/synagogue of the same faith as where you will be married. If this is a requirement prior to your marriage, you can probably do it in Maryland. If you aren't getting married in a religious setting, then pre-marital counseling is not a requirement before your wedding, although it may be a good idea.

Wedding Coordinator

I notice that hiring a wedding consultant is at the top of the list. What exactly do they do? Do they help with decorations etc.? If you opt not to have a consultant or coordinator, do you then make all your own arrangements as far as finding a caterer, florist, band, decorator etc. Is the florist usually the decorator for the entire party and ceremony or is there a separate person to decorate and do the flower arrangements, corsages, bouquets etc.

Wedding coordinators usually have a variety of packages that you can pay for - some include the whole thing, from finding vendors and negotiating contracts, to spending the whole wedding day with you making sure everything goes as planned and actually doing the detail work. You don't have to have a coordinator. They work especially well for weddings in other locations from where the bride lives, brides with very busy work schedules, or for very large, elaborate weddings.

Yes, without one, you (or parents, etc.) do all the arrangements, find vendors, decide on decorations, etc.... Do it ALL. See the Advice section in EZWeddingPlanner for lots of ideas on what you need and how to do it (including contracts with vendors).

Florists usually will just deliver the flowers where you want them (perhaps several different locations), but don't always decorate or stay longer than just dropping off the flowers. Some may place altar flowers, aisle flowers, candle flowers, etc. in the correct place at the ceremony site. They may decorate your cake with flowers if it has already been delivered to the reception site before the florist gets there. It probably all depends on how much you want to pay them and for what services. Tell them what you want and ask what they will do and for what cost.

Some reception sites will decorate for you if you provide the decorations - some won't. Some provide table centerpieces free as part of the package deal and will set them up too. You will have to check on what's included when you book the site. There are also companies that you can hire to decorate the reception site - which can get very elaborate if you like - chair covers, ceiling/wall/window decorations, plants, theme stuff, etc.

Usually, the corsages, etc. are delivered to the ceremony site (by the florist) and then you have someone designated as the person to pin them on the correct people. The florist won't stay around for the wedding and do this.

Contracts

CONTRACTS

Be a Wise Consumer

• Pay with a credit card (deposits too). That way if you are unhappy with the service or have problems that aren't resolved, you may have some recourse with the credit card company.
• Don't forget to ask for references and check them out. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau in your local area prior to booking a vendor, to see if there have been any complaints and if so, how they were handled.
• Get all the details written out - don't leave anything to memory and oral agreements, so there won't be any misunderstandings later as to what was supposed to be done.
• Don't be pressured to sign immediately. Take time to review it and have someone else look at it also. Ask questions if there are details you don't like or understand. All contracts can be negotiated and changed; there are not absolutes.
• Be sure the merchant also signs the contract and agrees to its terms.
• If you are incurring large expenses, you may want to consider wedding postponement/cancellation insurance to cover your investments in deposits, etc., in case of medical emergencies, acts of God, etc. that could cause your wedding not to happen or to be interrupted.

In all contracts, you want the following:

• The total cost and any payment arrangements, including deposits and final payment terms.
• In most cases, you shouldn't be asked to put down more than 50% of the total price before services are completed. The less you pay up front, the less you could lose if you have problems.
• The refund or cancellation policy and agreement on how things will be adjusted if there are mistakes. For instance, if you cancel months in advance, you shouldn't be responsible for the bulk of the cost, since the vendor can re-book your date easily.
• What, if any, overtime costs are there (depending on the service).
• What, if any, gratuities are normal, expected or automatically added to your bill.
• The person responsible for delivery, setup or performance of agreed services (and backup person) and phone numbers.
• See below for more vendor specific details.

Attire

• Include a cancellation clause for return of your deposit if the clothing does not arrive on the desired date or in good condition.
• Choose a delivery date several weeks before the wedding to allow for alterations. Men's clothing may not be available until just before the wedding, as most of this is rental. Be sure there is ample time built-in for these to be fitted properly.
• Specify any alterations that may be included in the price paid, or what exactly the extra alteration charges are and what they cover (for instance, so much per added buttons, hemming, sleeve and waist alterations, any added trimming or details, etc.)
• What is included in rental packages for men's clothing?
• What are the fitting, alteration and final pickup dates and times?
• Will the clothes be pressed and ready to wear on final pickup?
• What are the cleaning requirements (especially for rental) and what is included in the cost?
• What happens if rental clothing is damaged?
• When does the rental attire need to be returned and are there extra charges if there is a delay in return. Be sure whoever returns the clothing gets a receipt of return and any deposits back.
• See Bridal Attire for more suggestions and details.

Flowers

• The date and time of deliveries and the sites: probably your home for bouquets, ceremony site for corsages, boutonnieres and altar/candle holder decorations, the reception site for table arrangements and cake flowers, etc.
• The amount and color of each type of flower ordered (bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres, etc.)
• What substitutes you will accept if your first choices aren't available. And what you don't want (like no daisies or nothing red, etc.)
• The number and sizes of altar and other ceremony arrangements, like pew markers or candle holder decorations and also table or other reception arrangements, like head table, cake table, punch table, etc.
• The condition you expect the flowers to be in (fresh, not wilted or silk, etc.)
• The style, colors and number of accessories like ribbons, vases, etc.
• What, if anything, needs to be returned or picked up, and by whom. Be clear on any deposits and timing for items needing to be returned.
• See Flowers for more suggestions and details.

Music

• See ceremony music for specific considerations on organist, soloists, etc.
• See reception music for specific considerations on bands or DJs.

Photography/Videography

• Specify the name of the photographer and/or videographer you want. Some studios employ numbers of photographers and the samples you liked may have been taken by another photographer than would be assigned to your wedding. Can you get a discounted price if there is a switch for some reason and what is the name of the backup photographer/videographer?
• Will there be any assistants helping the photographer/videographer?
• Specify the attire of the photographer and videographer and assistants (tux or suits, etc.).
• Specify that you owe no money if the photos/video are ruined, lost, or do not turn out correctly (including deposits).
• What backup equipment will be on site, in case of equipment failure.
• What exactly is included in package deals, like hours at the ceremony and reception, who owns the negatives, are there any free pics, like engagement, etc.
• Specify what and how many locations photos/videos will be taken at (bride's house, church, second location, reception site, etc.) What are the arrival and departure times for each.
• How many rolls of film will be shot and how many proofs are provided and in what time frame after the wedding. For videography, how many tapes will be shot and how many cameras will be used.
• What happens to proofs that may not be given to you and can you buy them (or are all included).
• Can the photographer/videographer use your photos and/or video as samples and advertising?
• Are one or more wedding albums included in the price (yours and/or family)?
• What is the time frame for you and your guests to order photos/videos at a discounted rate. What are the costs of reprints or extra tapes during this time and also after this time.
• What are the extra charges for custom detailing on photos and can the photographer do them (like superimposed images, oil-painting-like pictures, very large framed photos, etc.)?
• Is the video edited or unedited? What editing techniques may be included in video (music, credits, etc.) and if not included, what is the extra charge to add them?
• When will the final photos/videos be delivered?
• Are there rules or restrictions on other people (your family and guests) taking pictures at the wedding?
• If the photographer/videographer stays for most of the reception, does he/she expect to be fed?
• See Photography/Videography for more details and suggestions.

Catering

• See Worksheet for details and checklist on what to ask.
• See Interview for ideas on choosing a caterer you like.

Contracts

Do you have a planner to mail out for documentation of flowers, hall, cake, etc...

Look at the Advice section (top menu bar in EZWeddingPlanner) especially the contracts topic.

It is important that you have written contracts with your major wedding vendors. Also, contingencies in writing in case there are problems.

Computer Labels

I am doing my own invitations on my home computer. Is it ok to print the address on the envelopes using my computer or should I hand write them?

Invitations should be addressed by hand. While this certainly takes longer than computer generated addresses, it is the correct etiquette thing to do. If you don't want to or have the time to address them yourself, you could print a list of how they should be addressed and give that to a calligrapher or someone with neat handwriting. Or see: Import People

That said, it is becoming more common for couples to use computer labels to address invitations. While I do not agree with this practice for wedding invitations, I do see it happening more often.

August Colors

I am trying to coordinate my colors for my wedding around the colors of flowers that blossom in the month of August, but I am finding it very difficult to do so. Is there any way you can help me to find out what colors?

Check out the flowers article in our Plan/Great Ideas section for lists of flowers that bloom in Summer and Autumn and year round. A florist will also be able to tell you what colors are seasonal in August and should be able to show you pictures for ideas.

Also, if you have selected a photographer, he/she is a good source of pictures of previous weddings in August, which may give you some flower ideas of what other brides have selected.

Wedding Colors

We are having a hard time trying to pick colors for the wedding. We are thinking of maybe black and burgundy. Is there a place that has an array of colors we can look at to get a better idea?

Bridal shops may be a good place to start, by looking at racks of bridesmaid's dresses, you get a good feel for all the various colors. You might want to check out the color of carpets at the venues to be sure you don't clash (may be important on pictures).

There are also many online sites that have an array of bridesmaids dresses, florists with many flower examples, and even photographer sites that have many examples of the weddings they have photographed. These can all give you good ideas for what you like (and don't like).

Prep Classes

I was wondering about marriage prep classes. We are having a non-denominational wedding in a historical heritage church that has been restored. It didn't come with an officiary, but we don't want a justice of the peace. Everyone that I have gotten a hold of says that we need marriage prep classes, but we live out of the town in which we are getting married. Do we have to take these classes in order for them to marry us?

It's really up to the officiant if he/she will marry you without the classes. Many require them before they will perform a service, however I expect you will be able to find someone who would do it without the classes. As a compromise, see if one meeting before the wedding day (perhaps the day before) will suffice. You will probably be in town by then and could spare an hour or two. It would also help you get familiar with the officiant and any special church service requirements before the wedding service. Perhaps explaining the distance problem will help. You could also consider a university chaplain or military chaplain who can perform weddings and may have looser requirements.

Change Wedding Date

How do I change the wedding date shown in EZWeddingPlanner?

Wedding dates may be changed under Options. This will reorganize the plan dates around the new wedding date.

Change date questions are the number one asked question by EZWeddingPlanner Brides. Wedding dates can change because of booking problems, family problems, scheduling problems, or many other reasons.

Plan Item Done

How do I check off an item in the EZWeddingPlanner plan that I have already done?

 Towards the top is a "Display done ..." yes/no - check yes and then press Do It. What happens when you say "no" to Display done is that items checked at the left just disappear. This way only the items yet to be completed will show on your screen. To see all items (including the ones you've done checked in red), click "yes" and then Do It.

The EZWeddingPlanner Plan is one of your best resources to help you stay on track and not forget any of those little or critical details in your wedding. You can add your own items that are specific to your wedding - people to call, things to buy, things you don't want to forget, and then you will receive email reminders of those items as they come due. You can also delete any plan items that do not pertain to your wedding, so feel free to really tailor your EZWeddingPlanner plan to your wedding.

Chicago Wedding

Do you happen to know anything about planning a very small wedding by the lake in Chicago?

Here are some suggestions: Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park is very pretty with a concrete plaza. Oak Street Beach - anywhere around there, including a restaurant like the Oak Street Beach Bistro (open seasonally). The Shed aquarium or thereabouts. Or the North Avenue Beach boathouse which is shaped like a ship. You could check with the Chicago Park District for details on areas around the lake. Also, there are botanical gardens in the northern suburbs that are very beautiful. Or the Lincoln Park conservatory (not quite on the water, but very nice). If you want to get married on the water, try the Spirit of Chicago which also has a show and dancing (312-836-7888) or for top of the line, Odyssey Cruise (312-321-7620).

Change Budget

How do I change the budget amount in EZWeddingPlanner?

In the budget section, enter the amount in each box you want to change. Be sure to click update before you leave the screen. Then the totals will be updated. Or, you can click on the item name on the left and get a new screen that you can edit.

The budget section is a powerful tool that lets you keep track of your total wedding expenses, who pays for which expense, how much has already been paid (deposit) and what is left to be paid. This helps keep you on track and on budget.

Ceremony Sample Lutheran

Sample - Christian Worship, A Lutheran Hymnal - WELS

Marriage Ceremony: Christian Worship, A Lutheran Hymnal - Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod

This order of worship celebrates God's gracious gift of marriage. The congregation shares the joy of the bride and groom as they publicly promise lifelong love and faithfulness to each other.

Call to Worship

M: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Our Lord Jesus Christ came as an invited guest to the wedding at Cana, and with his gracious presence, he brought joy and gladness to those who were there. Jesus is also with us who have gathered in his name to celebrate the Word of God and prayer the marriage of Name and Name. We are assured of God's gracious help and guidance in these words from the Psalms:

M: Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

C: His love endures forever.

M: The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love;

C: He is good to all.

M: God is our refuge and strength,

C: An ever-present help in trouble.

M: He is our God forever and ever;

C: He will be our guide even to the end.

M: May God be gracious to us and bless us

C: and make his face shine on us.

M: Loving Father, we are grateful for your goodness in permitting us to gather as the family and friends of Name and Name to share their joy on this special day. Look on them with favor, strengthen their confidence in your firm promises, and assure them of your abiding love. As your Son Jesus graced the wedding at Cana with his presence, so may he be with us who pray in his name.

C: Amen.

Congregational hymns or other music appropriate for worship may be sung here or at other places in the service.

Word of God

LESSONS

SERMON

Marriage Rite

M: Dear friends: When God in love created the world, he made man and woman in his own image and bonded them together in marriage. Through this blessed union of husband and wife, God established the family, provided for the physical and spiritual welfare of children, and fostered the peace and stability of society.

God intended marriage to bring loving companionship to the people of his world. But because of sin, the joy of marriage was soon overcast with sorrow, and the harmony of family life was shattered by strife. Out of love God sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross to take away the sins of all people. Everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness and is enabled by the Holy Spirit to live in peace and joy.

God's love for you is boundless. He commands you, in response to his love, to love each other. Love is forgiving and enduring. Love shows itself in truth and faithfulness, in thoughtfulness and understanding, in patience and kindness. Marriage furnishes a unique opportunity to put this love into practice.

The pattern for Christian marriage is the intimate union of Christ and his church, which the apostle Paul depicts in Ephesians 5. After urging believers to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ," he makes this application for Christian spouses: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." It is reverence for Christ on the part of husband and wife that lays the foundation for Christian marriage.

You have come here to be united in marriage, which consists in your mutual consent, sincerely and freely given. You are now invited to declare this intent in the presence of God and these witnesses.

Marriage Promises

M: (to the groom): Name, will you take Name to be your wife? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Will you be faithful to her, cherish her, support her, and help her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."

G: I will.

M: (to the bride): Name, will you take Name to be your husband? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and submit to your husband as the Church submits to Christ? Will you be faithful to him, cherish him, support him, and help him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."

B: I will.

M: Join your right hands, and make your promises to each other:

The groom and bride will say in turn:

I, Name, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.

Exchange of Rings

M: Exchange rings as a symbol of the lifelong commitment and abiding love which you as husband and wife have promised each other.

The groom and bride will say in turn:

Name, receive this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.

Declaration of Marriage

M: By their promises, Name and Name have bound themselves together in marriage before God and these witnesses. Therefore, I declare that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.

Marriage Blessing

M: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit preserve you in faithfulness, strengthen you in love, and guide you to life's end.

HYMN

The following hymn or another hymn may be sung.

Now thank we all our God With hearts and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done, In whom his world rejoices,
Who from our mother's arms Has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love And still is ours today.

Oh, may this bounteous God Through all our life be near us,
With ever-joyful hearts And blessed peace to cheer us
And keep us in his grace And guide us when perplexed
And free us from all ills In this world and the next!

Prayers

other prayers may be said

M: Let us pray:

Eternal God, source of love, help Name and Name to fulfill the promises they have made here today and to reflect your steadfast love in their love for each other. Give them kindness and patience, affection and understanding, happiness and contentment. Use their family and friends to support them in difficult days, that their love for each other may continue to grow as long as they live.

Gracious Father, in your goodness you bring people together into families and enrich their lives with abundant blessings. Renew the love of husbands and wives, parents and children, that they may strengthen and support each other on the way that leads to our heavenly home, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

C: Amen.

Lord's Prayer

Our Father in heaven,	Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be your name,	hallowed be thy name,
your kingdom come,	thy kingdom come,
your will be done,	thy will be done,
on earth as in heaven.	on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.	Give us this day our daily bread;
Forgive us our sins	and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those	as we forgive those
who sin against us.	who trespass against us;
Lead us not into temptation,	and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.	but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,	For thine is the kingdom,
and the glory are yours,	and the power, and the glory,
now and forever. Amen	forever and ever. Amen

Blessing

M: The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you.
The Lord look on you with favor and give you peace.

C. Amen

Ceremony Music

CEREMONY MUSIC

Music is a very important part of your wedding ceremony. Before selecting your service music it is advisable to check with your clergy-person and organist on any special rules for music selection that your church may have. Following is a list of suggestions for selecting your wedding music:

1. Meet with the organist before you begin selecting your music. Keep in mind that some churches have very firm guidelines on what music is used in liturgical settings. The organist should be well qualified to aid you in selecting your music.

2. Music is a service rendered as are flowers and photographs. Be sure to discuss the musicians' fees. They are generally commensurate with the performance experience, number of rehearsals and amount of music to be performed. Do not assume a friend will perform for free.

3. If at all possible, bring a musician with you when you select your music. It will enable the musician to play through any music with which you may not be familiar.

4. Know your musicians' vocal ranges and musical abilities and keep these in mind when choosing your music. (For example, most popular music comes in only one range and has only piano accompaniment available.)

5. To be sure you are ordering the correct music, know the exact title, the composer and/or arranger, the voice range, and the type of accompaniment needed. If possible, know the publisher also – which is included in the wedding music list contained in this chapter. In many cases, the musicians may want to order their own music.

6. Be sure to get enough copies of each piece. Copying music is illegal and your church could get in trouble for permitting you to use copies. Most professional church organists maintain libraries of music.

7. Select your music as soon a possible. If something needs to be back-ordered or you it can take up to six weeks to obtain. Also, you should allow time for your musicians to familiarize themselves with the music.

8. The soloists – vocal and instrumental – should rehearse with the organist before the wedding is to take place.

9. It is nice to take the time with your family to discuss your music selections so that they understand the Church's music policies and ritual requirements. It is not a good idea to surprise them with something that may be disappointing. It is also quite possible that a family "favorite" may be inappropriate for what the Church believes is a sacred moment.

10. Always have alternate choices. Many times a song may only be available in a collection, or a particular arrangement may have gone out of print, or if you have not allowed yourself enough time, an item may be out of stock. And again, a song may be judged inappropriate in a sacramental celebration. Keep yourself open to new suggestions.

RECOMMENDED MUSIC ITEMS  Facing Future CD   Live In Dresden: The Wedding at the Opera DVD   Fiddler on the Roof Soundtrack CD   A to Z of Classical Music CD   The Wedding Singer: Music From The Motion Picture CD   Canon in D - Piano Solo - Sheet Music   The Knot Guide to Wedding Vows and Traditions: Readings, Rituals, Music, Dances, and Toasts Book

Prelude music can begin about a half hour before the ceremony begins. In a church wedding, these pieces are usually classical organ music, though other instruments such as guitars, flutes, and pianos are sometimes used. Again, consult your musician or clergy-person for suggestions.

If you are having a soloist, the time immediately before the processional is an excellent time for a song. Other songs may be sung during the service if the church customs permit.

The processional music should be majestic and joyful.

The recessional music can have much the same "presence" as the processional, but should be a slightly faster tempo with a hint of excitement.

Processionals and Recessionals
Organ Collections
Piano-Organ Duet Books
Organ and Brass
Organ and Other Instruments
Vocal Music for Liturgical Weddings
Vocal Music for Non-Liturgical Weddings
Duets
Dance Music Lists
Reception Music

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Cater Own Wedding

I wanted to know what would be the easiest way to cater my own wedding? Do you have suggestions!

 I assume that by cater your own, you mean make the food & do all the arrangements yourself. It can be done, but it's a lot of work to add on to your final wedding preparations. Depending on where you plan to have the reception, you would need tables/cloths, chairs, dance floor (maybe), plates, silverware, etc. besides the food.

For type of food, you can consider the time of day of the wedding for some suggestions. After a morning wedding, you could serve a breakfast or brunch. After a noontime ceremony, you may want a sit down lunch. Early afternoon ceremony could have tea sandwiches, cake and beverages. Mid afternoon ceremony consider hors d'oeuvres and cake. For a late afternoon or evening wedding, probably a seated buffet or dinner-by-the-bite (hot and cold hors d'oeuvres, pastas, sushi setups, meat trays and other bite-size food) reception is best. Generally lighter foods work well in summer and heavier foods in winter. Seasonal fruits and vegetables always work well.

Some brides have planned picnics after their wedding, in parks or similar areas. Some have done pig roasts with beer and wine. One bride was doing a barbeque at the beach. It depends on what kind of atmosphere you want at your reception and what is available to you for venue.

Generally, a variety of salads, fruits/vegetables/dip, meat/cheese trays and cake would feed lots of people easily. They could be made up in advance and is pretty easy to do

For some self-catering items and quantities, see Do it Yourself for more ideas.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Caterer Worksheet

CATERER WORKSHEET

Name of Caterer__________________________________________________________

Contact Person___________________________________________________________

Address_________________________________________________________________

Phone #_________________________________________________________________

Email address____________________________________________________________

Web site URL____________________________________________________________

Location, Location, Location!

Location of Event_________________________________   ____Indoors  ____Outdoors

Address of the Location____________________________________________________

Phone # of the Location____________________________________________________

Directions_______________________________________________________________

Is there a kitchen facility with refrigerators, ovens, and barbecues on site?

____Yes  ____No

Comments ______________________________________________________________

__________Date of the Event

__________Scheduled Time to Serve the Hors d'oeuvres/Cocktails

__________Scheduled Time to Serve the Meal

__________Scheduled Departure Time

Type of Wedding Reception or Event

Type of Event/Theme

___Wedding Reception

___Rehearsal Dinner

___Private Party

___Other________________________________________________________________

_____Formal Sit-down Dinner Styles:  ___ American  ____Russian  ____French

• American or standard is when the food is plated and portioned in the kitchen and
  the guest is served the plate of food while sitting down at the table.
• Russian is where the food is plattered and the server portions and serves each
  guest a portion of the entrée, starch, and vegetable, served with a fork and spoon.
• French is carted and prepared tableside. The platters are presented to the guest
  and the guests pass and serve themselves.

_____Buffet  (American style: people stand in a food line)

_____Does your caterer provide the servers or is the buffet self-serve? _____________

_____Family Style  (Guests help themselves to food in the middle of their own table).

_____Hors d'oeuvres  _____Passed  _____ Stationary

_____Bar/Beverage Service  (Type: buffet bar service or bar service)________________

_____Alcohol --- Do you have a liquor license? ________________________________

_____Will they provide bartender(s)? Is there an extra charge? ____________________

_____Who is supplying the liquor, water, ice, etc? _______________________________

_____Wedding Cake Cutting/Service

Is this service included? Does the caterer provide the wedding cake or do I need

to hire an outside baker/cake designer? ____________________________________

_____Is the champagne toasting service included   ___Yes  ___No

Menus

_____Prior to meeting with your caterer, go over the menus. Select a menu from their

sample menus or request a custom menu.

_____Discuss the style of food preparation. Are their ingredients/produce fresh?

Do they sub-contact with other chefs/bakeries?

_____Discuss the size and portions with your caterer

Comments__________________________________________________________

Menu Selected (Beverages, Hors d'oeuvres, Main Course, Salads, Side Dishes, Breads, Dessert)

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Budget

Total Catering Budget $____________________________________________________

$______Reception/Event Site

_______Initial Head Count/Number of Guests

_______Final Head Count (Ask your caterer when the final head count is due.

Generally, most caterers want a final count 1-2 weeks prior to the event).

$______Cost per guest

(Don't forget to ask if there are different prices for children.

Ask about the cost per serving your DJ, Band, Photographer, or Wedding

Professionals)_____________________________________________________

_______Gratuity/Service Charge Included?  _____Yes  ____No

_______% If no, what is the percentage of the service charge?

_______% Taxes?

_______Deposit required   ___Yes  ___No

$______How much and when is the deposit due? ________________________________

_______May I make payments?  ___Yes  ___No  When is the final payment due?_______

_______Is the set-up and clean up included in the basic price?  ___Yes  ___No

$______Overtime Charge___________________________________________________

$______Alcohol/Beverage costs (Ask about corkage/bartender(s) fees)______________

_______Rentals: Do you provide linens, tables, chairs, china, glassware, silverware,

serving accessories, etc.

Are rentals included in the overall cost?  __Yes  __No

Do they provide the rentals or are they from a rental company?  ___Yes ___No

If no, write the name, address, and phone number of rental company or ask

your caterer to handle the rental details_________________________________

$______Total Rental Cost

Comments_______________________________________________________

_______ Select colors for your event for the table clothes, napkins, etc. The caterer

needs to know what your colors/themes are to reflect your style on the buffet or

other tables. Some people have their florists or their caterers decorate the

tables with flowers, centerpieces, or decorations.

________________________________________________________________

$______Wedding cake cost. Is it baked by the caterer or an outside baker?___________

Details, Details, Details!

_______Hours of Service___________________________________________________

_______Staff to Guest Ratio_________________________________________________

_______Staff Dress Code (Formal or casual)____________________________________

_______Contract  ___ Yes  ___No (Read the fine print)

_______Refunds/cancellation terms___________________________________________

_______"Leftover" policy__________________________________________________

_______Ask your caterer about his/her experience, background, culinary education.

________________________________________________________________

_______Has your caterer handled your type of event before?  ___Yes  ___No

_______Has your caterer handled the same number of guests that your event has?

_______Licenses/Insurance/Health Permits  ____Yes  ___No

_______References (Ask for letters of recommendations or for phone numbers of

previous catering clients).____________________________________________

_______Customer Service (Do you feel comfortable with your caterer, is he/she available

to answer your questions)? ___________________________________________

_______Ask for a tasting/consultation_________________________________________

Is there a fee for a "tasting" and can I bring the bride/groom, friend, or family

member? _________________________________________________________

_______Look at pictures of past events your caterer has designed.

_______FINALLY! Once you have interviewed, met your caterer, and perhaps sampled

the food -- Book your favorite caterer!

Bon Appetit!

Copyright 2000 © Frances King, Moosetta's Creative Caterers

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Low Cost Catering Ideas

LOW-COST CATERING IDEAS by Frances King

Many people cannot afford a lavish four-course sit down dinner or a full buffet feast for their wedding or event. In most cases, the food and beverages are the largest expenses of a wedding or party. You need to consider the time of the day of your reception or party. The time of your event plays an important role in the type of menu that you are planning. Your guests will expect different types and amounts of food depending on the time of the day of your affair.

General Meal Times:
Breakfast 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.
Brunch 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Lunch 12:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.
High Tea/Snacks 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Dinner/Cocktails 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Passed or Stationary Hors d'oeuvres 8 p.m. and later
Dessert 9:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.

If you cannot afford a fully catered event here are some low-cost party ideas. Do not forget to serve beverages and wedding cake if you are getting married. Even the simplest of foods can appear special when presented with flair. In addition, time of year and the corresponding temperatures should be a large factor in menu planning. Generally buffets are cheaper than sit-down meals because the caterer has to provide less waitstaff.

A Tea Reception

A tea reception is inexpensive and it should be held between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. Tea and coffee is served with a variety of "tea sandwiches" also known as "dainties." The crusts are cut off of these small sandwiches. Tarts, scones, and pastries may be served, as well. Make sure that you add "Tea Reception Following Ceremony" on your wedding invitations.

A Salad Luncheon/Reception

A salad luncheon reception is wonderful if your wedding is late morning. In addition, this type of meal is cheaper than a sit-down meal or buffet. Offer a wide selection of salads such various pasta salads, potato, rice salads, Chinese salads, coleslaw, fruit salads, gelatins with fruit, and green salads. Provide a few salad dressings, fruits, and breads. Include "Salad Reception Following Ceremony" in your invitation.

Hors d'oeuvres Reception or Deli/Party Trays Reception

This type of reception/event is appropriate between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Provide light finger foods such as chips and dips, fruit and vegetable platters, cheeses, and crackers. Write "Light Hors d'oeuvres Reception Following Ceremony" on the invitations. If you would like to include more substantial foods that are more filling include meat and cheese trays, shrimp cocktails, oysters, egg rolls, sausages, chicken wings, and tea sandwiches. Include "Hors d'oeuvres Reception Following Ceremony" if you are serving appetizers with meats.

Hors d'oeuvres and Cocktail Reception

This type of reception or party is similar to the one above in regards to time and menus. However, you are serving hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, and non-alcoholic beverages. Include "Hors d'oeuvres and Cocktail Reception Following Ceremony" on your invitations. Request your caterer to include bartending staff.

Decadent Dessert Reception or Dessert Party

This type of reception is suitable between 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. or after an evening wedding. Serve an extensive assortment of rich desserts such as cheese cakes, tarts, tortes, cookies, pies, cakes, pastries, cobblers, biscotti, ice cream, sundaes, and candies. Serve coffee, tea, and other beverages. Add "Dessert Reception Following Ceremony" to your invitations.

A Simple Cake and Punch Reception

You can "Let them eat cake" as long as your event is not during a normal mealtime. Have a simple but elegant cake and punch reception. It must be planned for the mid morning, for the mid afternoon, or for after an evening wedding. In addition, you may include some candies, cookies, and nuts to the menu. Be certain to include "Cake and Punch Reception Following Ceremony." This will inform the guests ahead of time not to expect a full meal.

Other Cost Considerations Location/Rental Equipment

Does the site include tables or chairs or do you have to rent them? Do not forget that you many need to rent tents, linens, and kitchen facilities. You many cut costs by using paper and plastic goods instead of glassware, china plates, cloth napkins, and silverware.

Waitstaff/Duration of the Event

How long is the event? If the event runs over you may have to pay overtime charges. How long do you have the reception site/facilities for? Does the time of the rental of the site and the waitstaff include the time of the set-up and clean up? Ask you caterer to start cleaning up while your guests are still there. If you cannot afford waitstaff consider ordering drop-off food or self-serve buffet food. Or you can have your friends pick up some deli trays or take out food and set up the food with their assistance.

Bon Appetit!

Copyright 2000 © Frances King, Moosetta's Creative Caterers

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Cash Bar

The wedding is at a hotel, so of course everything is over priced. We are considering not having an open bar, but a cash bar. Some say a cash bar is tacky. What do you say? And if a cash bar is tacky, do you have any suggestions? Also, what other beverages would be okay to toast with?

You could opt for an open bar for a short period of time (1/2 hr-1 hr) and then cash, or only have beer/wine on the open bar and other drinks are cash (again limit the time). You and the site rep can agree up front to a specific amount of alcohol and when that's reached, you are notified and can decide to switch to cash only or serve more free. And, generally paying by the drink is less expensive also. If you have exhausted the reception budget before drinks, then have a cash bar, but provide the toasting drinks free. Also, you could consider having a bottle or so of wine at each table with dinner and then cash bar for everything else.

Champagne or a quality sparkling wine are the traditional drink for toasts. You can offer non-alcoholic beverages such as a non-alcoholic champagne, ginger ale, club soda, punch, or white grape juice for toasting as well.