Seating

SEATING

Ceremony Seating

In a Christian wedding, the bride's family and friends are seated on the left side of the church facing the altar. The groom's family and friends will sit on the right side of the church. In a Jewish wedding, this is reversed. Also, all parents remain standing under the Huppah throughout the ceremony.

When bride's parents are divorced, but not remarried, if they are congenial, they might sit together in the left front row at Christian weddings. Otherwise the parent who raised you (and guest or spouse) sits in the left front pew and the other parent (and guest or spouse) sit in the third row on the left side. This is also an individual decision, depending on their relationships and preferences. For groom's parents, simply reverse the seating (using the right side). At Jewish ceremonies, women sit on the left and men on the right.

If one family has many more guests than the other, everyone may sit together without assigned sides of the church. This will even out the seating and fill up the church from the front to back.

Parents of both sides sit in the first or second pew on their respective sides (often times the first pew is left empty in case someone from the bridal party must sit down during the ceremony). Grandparents sit in the next pew on the outside (next to the isle). Siblings can also sit in the grandparents pew. You can reserve additional pews for other honored guests (like family of flower girl and ring bearer, etc.) The reserved pews can be marked with flowers, etc. or the ushers can just seat the guests behind the reserved pews.

Guests who arrive after the bride's mother has been seated should not be seated by the ushers. They may simply slip into an empty pew behind the other seated guests.

Reception Seating

Many brides say seating arrangements at the reception is their biggest headache. Don't seat older guests near the band or kitchen. Seat people who share hobbies or occupations together. Single guests and teens or children can be seated together. Consider a chaperone or entertainment on children's tables. Seat divorced parents separately, each with their own table of family and friends. This is also a parents choice depending on their civility. They may choose to sit together at a parents' table. Seat spouses or guests of attendants at head table if bridal party is small, or together on one table if bridal party is large. Consider seating smokers together and away from non-smokers if possible.

In EZ Wedding Planner, there is a seating feature that lets you easily arrange and rearrange all of your guests (either by number in party or by those who have said they will be attending). This will let you add, size, and populate reception tables.

If you have a head table, the wedding party should be seated facing the guests, so that everyone can see. Your groom should sit to your left, your maid of honor will sit next to the groom, and the best man will go next to you. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will be seated alternately around the rest of the table. You may also wish to include the clergy-person, your parents, the groom's parents, grandparents, and godparents.

Many couples are foregoing the head table in favor of regular smaller tables, like the guests sit at. One benefit of this is that you can also seat spouses or guests of the wedding party with their respective attendant. Some feel this is more comfortable for everyone involved in the wedding. It also takes up less room than a head table, if space is limited. Individual tables are also less formal, depending on the atmosphere you want at your reception.

If you are designating seating, write out guests' names and table numbers on table cards. These cards can be set on a table by the door, arranged in alphabetical order. If you write the guest's name on both sides, it is easier for guests at the same table who do not know each other to talk to each other. Or a master seating chart can be posted with each guest's name and table number.

Seating Guests

Do you have any suggestions on how to seat all the people at our reception?

Many brides say seating arrangements at the reception is their biggest headache. Don't seat older guests near the band or kitchen. Seat people who share hobbies or occupations together. Single guests and teens or children can be seated together. Consider a chaperone or entertainment on children's tables. Seat divorced parents separately, each with their own table of family and friends. Seat spouses or guests of attendants at head table if bridal party is small, or together on one table if bridal party is large. Consider seating smokers together and away from non-smokers if possible. In EZ Wedding Planner, there is a seating feature that lets you easily arrange and rearrange all of your guests (either by number in party or by those who have said they will be attending). The seating program will let you add, size, and populate reception tables.

Seat Groom's Parents

Where do I sit the groom's parents? I need to give you some information first. His mother has remarried, so the groom has a step-father. He calls his mother's ex-husband his daddy since this man adopted him when he married his mother but his biological father will also be at the wedding. I have not met his biological father. He wants to escort his mother in and the man he calls daddy. A friend of his is going to be his best man and I don't know how to seat these 3 people. Please help me with this.

His mother and step-father would be seated in the first row of people on the groom's side - current husband would sit with his wife (in non-Jewish ceremonies this is on the right as you face the front). His biological father could be seated in the third row - right side. Second row could be siblings or grandparents.

I'm not clear if there are two step-fathers here (you say "daddy" is his mother's ex-husband?). If so, you could space them with a row in between each - unless they get along with each other, in which case they can be seated together if you and they like.

Many times the very first row is left empty in case someone from the wedding party needs to sit down quickly, so all guests are seated beginning in the second row. This practice may vary by location and officiant.

Wedding Seating

I need seating layout for wedding ceremony. Where do parents, brothers/sisters, grand parents, aunts/uncles and friends sit?

In a Christian wedding, the bride's family and friends are seated on the left side of the church facing the altar. The groom's family and friends will sit on the right side of the church. In a Jewish wedding, this is reversed. Also, all parents remain standing under the Huppah throughout the ceremony.

When bride's parents are divorced, but not remarried, if they are congenial, they might sit together in the left front row at Christian weddings. Otherwise the parent who raised you (and guest or spouse) sits in the left front pew and the other parent (and guest or spouse) sit in the third row on the left side. This is also an individual decision, depending on their relationships and preferences. For groom's parents, simply reverse the seating (using the right side). At Jewish ceremonies, women sit on the left and men on the right.

If one family has many more guests than the other, everyone may sit together without assigned sides of the church. This will even out the seating and fill up the church from the front to back.

Parents of both sides sit in the first or second pew on their respective sides (often times the first pew is left empty in case someone from the bridal party must sit down during the ceremony). Grandparents sit in the next pew on the outside (next to the isle). Siblings can also sit in the grandparents pew. You can reserve additional pews for other honored guests (like family of flower girl and ring bearer, etc.) The reserved pews can be marked with flowers, etc. or the ushers can just seat the guests behind the reserved pews.

Guests who arrive after the bride's mother has been seated should not be seated by the ushers. They may simply slip into an empty pew behind the other seated guests.

Seat Attendants

Do you have a seating chart in EZWeddingPlanner just for attendants, because number of people at those tables vary.

You can use the EZ Wedding Planner seating program to seat anyone, including attendants. You can specify the size and shape of each table as well as the number of people to be seated at each table. You then assign the people to the tables (guests and attendants must be entered in your People list before they will show up in the seating program to be assigned tables). The number of people at each table can vary by table. They can be moved around and reassigned as many times as you like.

Sand Ceremony

Some couples are using a sand ceremony as an alternative to the traditional unity candle ceremony at a wedding. Three nesting glass vases are used. Each side vase is filled with a different color sand, and gently poured simultaneously by the bride and groom to make a lovely blended display in the center vase.

This sand ceremony is also popular with blended families. Children may help the parents pour from their vase, or using some additional mini nesting vases with different colored sand, the children can pour into the larger vase. This is a delightful expression of the unity of the families and works well for any number of children. Colored sand can be found in craft stores or even fish stores and any size/shape of vase may be used.

They are ideal for a beach or outdoor weddings where it is too windy for candles and also a wonderful touch for mixed-racial weddings.

Following the wedding, the outer vases may be used for flowers, while the center vase remains with the unity sand as a lovely display in your home.

Sand Castle Centerpieces

I am looking for sand castles for the centerpiece on tables.

 You might want to try searching (google or others) for sand castles. There are numbers of sites that have sand castle centerpieces.

RSVP Date

Do I have to have an RSVP and if I do, what date should I make it? My wedding is June 8, 2011.

There are many reasons you will want an RSVP from your guests.

The RSVP is used and most often needed to get an accurate count of the number of people coming to your reception. You will have to guarantee a number and you don't want to have to pay for people/food that won't be there. If you are doing food yourself and not hiring a caterer, it's still good to know how many people are coming to know how much food to prepare.

Also, you probably order favors, etc. which will be dependant on the guest count. If you do a seating chart/name tags etc. for the reception, you will need to know who and how many people are coming.

In addition, many brides have A and B lists of people (because of cost or reception room limitations not everyone you may want to invite makes the A list.) Anyway, if you send invitations early enough (about 5-6 weeks before), then when A list people RSVP "no", you can send an invitation to someone on the B list. It's acceptable to mail invitations up to 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding.

Many brides also then contact those who have not RSVP'd by the date given and ask them if they will be attending.

Given all that, you will need to make the RSVP by date before you need to guarantee a count and with enough time to do the other things (order favors, send more invitations, plan seating, or call them, etc. So, probably around 3 weeks before the wedding is a good date (mid May 2011).

RSVP

I have never RSVP'd to a wedding. The only weddings I have been to have been family. The question is: on the RSVP note what does the "M" stand for and do I write our names on that line?

The M allows the guests to write in Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms, etc. and their names indicating that they will (or will not) attend the wedding. The guests then return the RSVP card to the bride (in the self-addressed, stamped envelope provided by the bride along with the RSVP card). This way the bride can have an accurate count of how many people are coming - which the bride will need for the reception.

Rings

RINGS

There is no substitute for a reliable, reputable jeweler when selecting your rings. His expertise will help you make your selection to ensure that you will be happy and satisfied for years to come.

It is suggested that you and your fiancé decide together on the engagement ring, since you probably have already established preferences as to cut, style, etc. At this time, you may also wish to select your wedding rings.

There are basically three different metals to choose from - gold, platinum, and palladium. Gold is the most used ring metal and is available in a yellow or white color. Pure gold (24K) is too soft for rings. Gold ring settings are usually 14K or 18K alloys of gold and other stronger metals. Platinum is a white metal, which is very expensive. It is the strongest ring metal available and is often used for the prongs which hold the stones in rings of gold. Palladium is similar to platinum in color and strength, but is lighter in weight and costs less.

Of course, the design you choose will depend on your personal preference. A narrow band with a solitaire (single stone) is fitting for a tiny hand, whereas a larger hand can accommodate a cluster of stones. Most jewelers have a wide selection from which to choose, to see what style is best for you, and your budget.

Make the final sale contingent on an appraisal from an appraiser of your choice. Be sure returns are allowed if the appraisal of the ring(s) doesn't meet with your expected standards. Ask the appraiser for a genuine appraisal, as opposed to one for insurance purposes, which may be inflated.

Four basic things to look for when selecting your diamond are color, clarity, cut and carat. The clearer the diamond, the greater its value, however, most diamonds contain yellow or brown traces. Diamonds that are clear (no color) and colorless or of a faint blue are considered to be perfect. Jewelers grade a diamond's color with a letter scale, beginning with a high score of D, which is colorless and going to Z which is yellow. As the stone's degree of color increases, the value decreases. The degree to which the stone is free from interior or exterior flaws (inner cracks, bubbles and specks) will determine its clarity. Flawless is rated "F1" and "I3" is imperfect. The sparkle of a diamond depends on the cut and design used. Diamond cutting is a precise and delicate process during which nearly half of the rough diamond is lost. The cut is usually considered the most important, because this is what gives a diamond its brilliance. The diamond is cut, with each facet proportional in exact geometric relation to one another, then polished. There are several cuts or designs available–brilliant, marquise, oval, emerald cut, single cut, pear, heart-shaped or baguette. Carats deal with the weight of the diamond. One carat is equivalent to 100 points. A diamond weight of 1/2 carat is 50 points.

Brilliant	Marquise	Oval	Emerald Cut	Single Cut	Pear	Heart Shape	Baquette

An engagement ring does not have to be a diamond. You may wish to choose from some of the other semi-precious stones available. For example, you may want your birthstone, or a ruby, emerald, sapphire, opal, or pearl–just to name a few.

Birthstones and Their Significance

January	Garnet or Hyacinth	Constancy
February	Amethyst	Sincerity
March	Bloodstone or Aquamarine	Courage
April	Diamond	Innocence or enduring love
May	Emerald	Success in love
June	Pearl, Moonstone or Agate	Health and long life
July	Ruby or Onyx	Contentment
August	Sardonyx, Peridot, or Carnelian	Felicity
September	Sapphire	Love
October	Opal or Tourmaline	Hope
November	Topaz	Fidelity
December	Turquoise or Lapis Lazuli	Prosperity

In addition to the traditional birthstones assigned to the months of the year, certain stones also are assigned to the days of the week:

Sunday	Topaz
Monday	Pearl of crystal
Tuesday	Ruby or emerald
Wednesday	Amethyst or loadstone
Thursday	Sapphire or carnelian
Friday	Emerald or cat's eye
Saturday	Turquoise or diamond

Again, your knowledgeable jeweler will be able to help you make the right decision when selecting your rings so that it will express your personality and be unique for you to enjoy for a lifetime.

The diamond is worn as the engagement ring prior to the wedding. Before the ceremony, this ring can be taken off or worn on the right hand, so you have a free left finger for the wedding ring exchange during the ceremony. Or, if you leave the diamond on for the ceremony, reverse them later. After the wedding, the wedding band is worn closest to your heart and the diamond engagement ring on the outside, closest to your fingertip (on the left hand). They may be soldered together after the wedding, but some brides prefer to keep them separate, in case one or the other needs work in the future. Some rings that come as sets clasp together with a small hook and hole (or other method), so they do not need to be permanently connected.

Some brides prefer to only wear one wedding band and not have a separate engagement ring. This is purely your choice. You can certainly be engaged without a ring. Or, if the single ring contains diamonds, you can wear it as an engagement ring and then take it off and use it again during the ring giving in the ceremony.

Care of Rings

Now that you have made the big decision, you will certainly want to take care of this precious treasure. First of all, be sure your ring is insured–either under your parents' insurance policy, or your renter's/homeowner's insurance policy–in case of theft or loss. Below are some tips to keep your jewelry brilliant and sparkling for years to come:

1. Remove rings when doing housework; bleaches and cleansers can pit or discolor mountings.
2. Diamonds can scratch things, so wrap them separately in tissue paper when travelling. At home, store rings in a ring holder.
3. Remove rings during sports activities or heavy work to lessen the chance of losing.
4. Keep your hands and nails well manicured because everyone will want to see that beautiful diamond!
5. Have your jeweler check your stone and mounting at least once a year.
6. Clean your ring at least once a month:

• Use liquid detergent and warm water, then brush gently (use small brush). Put rings, earrings, etc. in a wire tea strainer to protect them while rinsing under warm running water. Dry with a soft cloth.

• Or use equal amounts of cold water and household ammonia. Soak for 30 minutes. Lift out, tap off liquid around the mounting, dip again and drain on paper towel to air-dry.

• Or you may choose to use a commercial jewelry cleaner.

How to Wear Rings

We bought a bridal set as my rings. How do you wear it. The diamond as engagement ring? The additional band is worn on the outside or inside of the ring? Do you solder them together before or after the wedding?

 The diamond is worn as the engagement ring prior to the wedding. Before the ceremony, this ring can be taken off or worn on the right hand, so you have a free left finger for the wedding ring exchange during the ceremony. Or, if you leave the diamond on for the ceremony, reverse them later. After the wedding, the wedding band is worn closest to your heart and the diamond engagement ring on the outside, closest to your fingertip (on the left hand). They may be soldered together after the wedding, but some brides prefer to keep them separate, in case one or the other needs work in the future. Some rings that come as sets clasp together with a small hook and hole (or other method), so they do not need to be permanently connected.

Some brides prefer to only wear one wedding band and not have a separate engagement ring. This is purely your choice. You can certainly be engaged without a ring. Or, if the single ring contains diamonds, you can wear it as an engagement ring and then take it off and use it again during the ring giving in the ceremony.

Ring Cost

How much should the average engagement ring cost?

 Engagement rings can be any size, shape, gem, and price. If you want a traditional diamond ring, check with local jewelers, etc. for choices. There are 4 Cs - cut, color, clarity and carat. Most jewelers will recommend spending about two months' salary for a diamond engagement ring. But, some very beautiful rings can be had for much less (depending on the salary). You could spend anywhere from several hundred to many thousands of dollars. This depends purely on your choice and budget. There's no need to go broke on one of the first items in your wedding planning.

In EZ Wedding Planner, there is an extensive discussion on engagement rings. This can be found in Plan/Great Ideas/Rings.

Ribbon Curl

I am doing my own flowers and I wanted to know if there is a good way to get the curl to hold in the ribbon that will be hanging down.

One way is to use ribbon that has a thin wire going down the side (made inside the ribbon, so it doesn't show) which is called French ribbon. The downside is that if the ribbons get crunched anywhere (by setting them down or bunching them together, etc.) they may stay that way. The other suggestion (from a florist) is to use the end of the bolt ribbon for the hanging down part because it is wound tighter to start with, it stays curled more. Use the top or middle of the bolt for the bows. Some craft shops sell ribbon by the yard, so you could find some bolts that are close to the end for the curls.

Rent a Hall

I'm looking for a place to have a wedding reception, either to rent a hall and have food catered and served, or a banquet hall for 75-100 guests with a cheap price but nice setting.

See the Great Ideas (in Plan) in EZ Wedding Planner - especially the article on receptions.

This lists many ideas on where to host receptions and details to consider when booking a location.

Renewal of Vows

RENEWAL OF VOWS

You can do a reaffirmation of your wedding vows anywhere you want and as elaborately or simply as you want. If you want this is a church visit with the clergy member for suggestions on wording, music, service guidelines, etc. Or, you could do it at home, in a park or other scenic location, etc. Since it is not a legal function, anyone can preside, including family members. You could write your own vows or see if the officiant has a standard format.

If you had attendants at your first wedding, you could ask them to stand up again, or many people have their children (or grandchildren) do this. Since you don't need witnesses to sign a license, you don't need any attendants at all. You can wear any type of dress you want (original wedding dress, new traditional, or any nice dress.) A veil is not worn, but you could use a small hat, flowers, jeweled combs, etc. You could carry a small bouquet of in season flowers or a floral bracelet or just a corsage. The groom may wear anything from a tux to his normal suit. (or if you are doing this outside, you could wear something more casual). The groom should also have a fresh floral boutonniere on his left lapel.

You can invite as many or few guests as you like (and can afford). You could do printed invitations, or simply call them and tell them about the event. Depending on the size of the guest list, you could go out to a restaurant, host a meal at home (finger foods, barbecues, pot luck, or full sit down meal). You could have a small wedding cake & even use your original cake topper (if you still have it). Or, you can have a large, formal reception with all the trimmings.

The wording on the invitations to your reaffirmation/renewal of vows could read something like:

The honour of your presence
is requested at the reaffirmation
of the wedding vows of
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Anderson
Saturday, the second of December
at four o'clock
St. Paul's Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota
and at a reception following
in the Church basement

You could use your same wedding rings and have the clergy person bless them, or get new ones (like an anniversary ring, etc.)

Photos are a must (either professionally or with your camera or friends/relatives cameras). You could also put up a photo collage of your years together including first wedding pictures.

You could put out a guest book (if you have lots of guests) so they can write in their best wishes. If you have the original guest book that has extra empty pages, you could use that & everyone will have fun looking at the first signatures.

You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a nice, memorable occasion.

Vow Renewal Invitations

We are trying to plan a 40th Anniversary for my husband's parents. They are planning on renewing their vows with a reception following. Right now I am trying to find a guideline for wording invitations.

The wording on the invitations to your reaffirmation/renewal of vows could read something like:

The honour of your presence
is requested at the reaffirmation
of the wedding vows of
Mr. and Mrs. Martin Anderson
Saturday, the second of December
at four o'clock
St. Paul's Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota
and at a reception following
in the Church basement

[you could also include info that this is in honor of their 40th anniversary, perhaps after their names]

Renew Vows

My husband and I are renewing our vows next year. I was wondering if my father has to walk me down the aisle. I would like for my husband and I to walk down together. How does that sound?

Since you are already married, your father does not have to walk you down the aisle and your husband certainly can.

Renew Vows on Small Budget

I am planning a renewal of my wedding vows and am on a small budget, can you give me tips?

You can do a reaffirmation of your wedding vows anywhere you want and as elaborately or simply as you want. If you want this is a church visit with the clergy member for suggestions on wording, music, service guidelines, etc. Or, you could do it at home, in a park or other scenic location, etc. Since it is not a legal function, anyone can preside, including family members. You could write your own vows or see if the officiant has a standard format.

If you had attendants at your first wedding, you could ask them to stand up again, or many people have their children (or grandchildren) do this. You can wear any type of dress you want (original wedding dress, new traditional, or any nice dress.) A veil is not worn, but you could use a small hat, flowers, jeweled combs, etc. You could carry a small bouquet of in season flowers or a floral bracelet or just a corsage. The groom may wear anything from a tux to his normal suit. (or if you are doing this outside, you could wear something more casual). The groom should also have a fresh floral boutonniere on his left lapel.

You can invite as many or few guests as you like (and can afford). You could do printed invitations, or simply call them and tell them about the event.

You could use your same wedding rings and have the clergy person bless them, or get new ones (like an anniversary ring, etc.)

Depending on the size of the guest list, you could go out to a restaurant, host a meal at home (finger foods, barbecues, pot luck, or full sit down meal). You could have a small wedding cake & even use your original cake topper (if you still have it).

Photos are a must (either professionally or with your camera or friends/relatives cameras). You could also put up a photo collage of your years together including first wedding pictures.

You could put out a guest book (if you have lots of guests) so they can write in their best wishes. If you have the original guest book that has extra empty pages, you could use that & everyone will have fun looking at the first signatures.

You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a nice, memorable occasion.

Renew Vow Resources

My wife and I are renewing our wedding vows and wanted to know proper procedures as well as vows to tell one another.

The reaffirmation or service of blessing can be held in a church or synagogue but it is not a legal act. If you decide to hold it in a church or synagogue you will need a clergy member to sanction your vows. It may also include many elements of your first wedding and should include an emphasis on the two of you. You may repeat the same vows or as you wish we can write new vows for you.

You can send invitations, you may add a blessing of the original rings or purchase new reaffirmation rings. You can have music for your processional and recessional, share in a cup of wine and or distribute flowers to those in attendance. Planning is same as the different degrees of the wedding - Formal, Semi-formal etc. and all the trimming's can be included. Attendants aren't necessary but you can if you so choose.

Preparation:
If Religious Reaffirmation speak with your clergy member for guidelines.

You may want to find out about marriage encounter programs i.e... Worldwide Marriage Encounter, Inc. (presented in 12 faith expressions and several languages) 1-800-795-LOVE (5683).

United Marriage Encounter 1-800-334-8920

Jewish Marriage Encounter (of any faith call for referral group in your area) 1-516-538-7766

ENRICH- P.O. Box 190 Minneapolis, MN 55413

[Answer compliments of Dianna Emerson, Bonne Foi Bridals & Weddings]

Renewing Vows

What site would you suggest visiting concerning renewing vows, our first wedding was a "quickie", and we'd like to have a renewal of our vows to remember?

Some suggested sites: A church or synagogue, a home, a sentimental location (where you met, etc.), a scenic location, park or garden, a historic building or mansion, a vacation spot. As you can see, reaffirmation sites can be just about anywhere you like.

Anyone can officiate, since this is not a legal wedding (you've already done that). For renewal of vows as a religious commitment, a clergy person is the right officiant. A judge, family patriarch, college president, or someone in authority you respect could perform the ceremony. Your ceremony and reception can be as elaborate as you like. You can do the whole nine yards with wedding dress, bridesmaids, etc. The bride's headpiece should be simple and a wedding veil is not worn. Consider flowers, jeweled combs, etc. Some people use the same attendants as the first wedding. Or if there were none, start fresh. Consider including your children (if you have any) in the ceremony. Gifts should not be expected, although many guests will probably want to give you some memento. You can use the same rings you already have (and exchange them again). Or, new rings (an anniversary ring, gemstone ring (with birthstones), or a ring with a diamond or other precious stone for the number of years you've been together) can be used. A photographer and/or videographer should record all the happy moments. A guest book is also a good idea, cause your friends can write their good wishes. A fun idea is to ask guests to bring a photograph of them with one or both of you that you can keep. These can be posted on a board at the reception as you receive them and then you will also be able to put them in an album later. A second (or first) honeymoon can also be added to the planning.

Rehearsal Dinner

REHEARSAL DINNER

Who Attends

If space and/or finances are limited, only the members of the wedding party need to be invited. But, the guest list usually includes your attendants and the spouses of married attendants (or live-in partners), the immediate family on both sides (parents and siblings and their partners), parents of children in the wedding (young children are optional), and the officiant and his/her spouse (if they are well known to the host and hostess). If the musicians are personal friends they may also be invited. Most people also include out-of-town guests arriving for the wedding (or plan some other function for them to attend the night before the wedding). If you want to expand it, you can include grandparents and special aunts/uncles too.

Who Hosts and When

The groom's parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. But, most anyone can host it if the groom's parents do not. Invitations for the dinner can be sent after you have received RSVPs from out of town guests who you might want to include in the rehearsal dinner.The invitations can be word of mouth, by personal note, or by a printed invitation indicating the time and place of the dinner.

It is usually held the night before the wedding, directly following the rehearsal at the wedding site. If the wedding is going to be a morning or early afternoon affair, you could have the rehearsal and dinner a day or so before, so everyone is well-rested for the wedding day.

Where Held

It can be anywhere from a formal sit-down dinner in a nice restaurant to an informal buffet, or a backyard barbecue or lasagna party at someone's house.

Activities

The purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to have an opportunity to visit and relax with those closest to the bride and groom, so you can decide how many people that includes. This is also the occasion where most bridal couples give the gifts to their attendants. You could have slide shows or pictures of the bride and groom growing up placed on each table or displayed on an easel (which you could also display at the wedding reception site).

Rehearsal Dinner

Who attends the rehearsal dinner? Immediate family?

 If space and/or finances are limited, only the members of the wedding party need to be invited. But, the guest list usually includes your attendants and the spouses of married attendants (or live-in partners), the immediate family on both sides (parents and siblings and their partners), parents of children in the wedding (young children are optional), and the officiant and his/her spouse. Most people also include out-of-town guests arriving for the wedding (or plan some other function for them to attend the night before the wedding). If you want to expand it, you can include grandparents and special aunts/uncles too. The purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to have an opportunity to visit and relax with those closest to the bride and groom, so you can decide how many people that includes. It can be anywhere from a formal sit-down dinner to an informal buffet, or a backyard barbecue or lasagna party. This is also the occasion where most bridal couples give the gifts to their attendants.

Guest Page

I want my friends to see the latest event schedule, gift status and registry. How do I do that?

You can go to Options - Guest Web Pages and set a password for your friends, guests and families to use. With that password they will be able to see a list of your event schedule, your gift list and the places you have registered. It's a great way to keep everyone who is net connected informed. When anyone goes in to look at your stuff you will get email that tells you who checked it out. To test it, follow the link you get in your email. To enter places where you are registered, go to Lists. Towards the bottom you will see the Registry link.

You can also get your own personalized website through EZWeddingPlanner.com with a combination of your names where your guests can see pictures of you and any wedding details you want to show them.

When to Register for Gifts

When to you register for gifts? I used to work for Target and I know that if you register too far ahead most of the merchandise will be discontinued before the showers. Would it be okay to wait. When is the last time we should consider registering for gifts?

If you want to give suggestions for guests who might attend engagement parties or showers, etc. you may want to register early. Many guests will buy the shower/wedding presents as soon as they hear you are getting married. You can always add new stuff to the registry as it gets closer to the wedding and you see what price range items have already been purchased. It's a good idea to select a wide variety and price range of items so there is something for every budget. You should be registered at least by the time you send out the wedding invitations.

Reception Order of Events

Reception Order of Events

Here are some suggestions for wedding reception order - feel free to personalize this to your preferences, as all receptions are a bit different, sometimes depending on location and/or religion.

If the receiving line is done at the reception, after the line and after the cocktail hour is finished, the guests move into the main dining area and are seated. When the guests are all seated, the Master/Mistress of Ceremony (sometimes the DJ acts as M/MOC) introduces the bridal party. Whoever does the introductions should check beforehand on preferences of names and pronunciations. If they have not already been seated also, there can be a procession - beginning with bride's parents, groom's parents, flower girl and ring bearer, bridesmaids and groomsmen, best man and maid of honor, and finally the bride and groom. If the receiving line is done after the ceremony, introductions can still be made at the reception, with or without a procession.

The first dance with just the bride and groom can take place right after the introductions above or after the meal is done. Toward the end of the song, the M/MOC tells the bridal party to join in and then guests may also be included if you like. One consideration is the length of time the photographer will be at the reception and if you want the first dance captured on his/her film.

The cake cutting is introduced by the M/MOC and they can direct guests to the location. This is usually done before the meal, so the cake can be served in sequence after the meal, without having guests get up and down.

Just before the main meal is served, the best man is introduced and he toasts the couple. The maid of honor can also toast if she wishes. And it is customary at religious weddings to have the officiant say a prayer before everyone eats (prepare him/her in advance to do this). If there is a buffet, some direction may be announced on what is where and perhaps a table order for forming the lines.

Toward the end of the reception, the M/MOC can gather eligible ladies to the middle of the floor and the bride tosses her bouquet. The groom can remove the garter and toss it to eligible men.

The groom/bride and/or bride's father/mother can stand up and formally thank the guests for attending and helping to make the wedding special.

Other events can be announced/done, such as slide shows of bride/groom's growing up, professional dancers or entertainers, solo singers, readings/speeches, the dollar dance, disposable cameras on each table (and what guests are expected to do with them), etc.

Reception Planning

Do you have a to do list for planning the wedding reception. We want to make sure we don't forget anything.

 There are several sources in EZ Wedding Planner dealing with the reception. In Plan/Great Ideas there is a topic on reception. Also, see the question dealing with master/mistress of ceremony.

Reception Food and Beverages

Reception Food and Beverages

Food

Choosing the right caterer is very important. The catering expert will be able to help you choose the proper menu for the time of day your reception is being held. Many caterers will let you sample different dishes to decide on what to serve and to see how the plates will actually be displayed for your guests. Generally, the caterers will supply all the dishes, flatware, glasses, cups, saucers, and table linens. They will also be able to assist you in setting up the tables and also give you ideas for decorations, etc.

The cost will largely depend on the service the caterer will provide. Some caterers will charge a flat rate or on a per-person basis. Ask what the staff-to-guest ratio will be (one waiter per 8-10 guests for a seated meal is usually adequate). Are all costs including gratuity included in the meal cost? You will probably need to give a final headcount estimate at least one week in advance. Ask if they prepare extra food for a certain percentage over your estimate, if so you may be able to underestimate and still be covered. It's a good bet that someone who has RSVP'd yes will not show up. On the other hand, you could have a few unexpected guests, so be thoughtful in your final numbers. Be sure to get all cost estimates in writing.

For things to consider when interviewing caterers, click here.

For low cost catering ideas, click here.

For a handy caterer worksheet, click here.

For tips on proportions for doing your own catering and preparing your own food, click here.

Cake

Your wedding cake is important not only for photos, but for taste. Be sure to sample a variety of wedding cakes before choosing a baker. Many sites will wave the cutting/serving fee in lieu of serving other deserts. Or, you may want to have both, in which case there will probably be a charge for serving the wedding cake. See Cake Ordering and Cutting for more details regarding the cake.

Unique Cake Tops  Family Stylized Heart Cake Topper   Bride "Reaching for Her Star" Figurine   Beach Bride and Groom Cake Topper   Rhinestone Letter Cake Topper   "Super Sexy Spy" Wedding Bride and Groom Figurine   Porcelain Interracial Bride and Groom Cake Top Wedding

Beverages

Depending on the location you choose for your reception, you will need to make a careful decision about the liquor or other beverages you plan to serve. You will need to decide whether you want an open bar or cash bar. Then you need to decide on the types of beverages you will serve. This item is one of the major expenses of your reception.

If your reception is in a hotel or restaurant, most likely you will not be allowed to provide your own stock. Check with the banquet manager on the cost to you. Some let you decide to pay on a per-drink basis or a flat fee per-person basis. House brands of liquor are less expensive than premium brands. Ask how they handle obviously intoxicated guests and do they continue to serve them? You may want to offer taxi service or designated drivers if you have guests who should not drive home.

Many guests will appreciate nonalcoholic beverages, such as punch, mineral water, soft drinks, coffee, tea (decaf also), and something sparkling for the toast.

If your reception is in a hall or a private home, you may have to supply your own beverages. Contact your local liquor dealer, who will be able to assist you in determining the types of liquor to serve and the quantities needed. Again, planning in advance will allow you to watch for sales on these items and buying by the case will give you discounts. Also, be sure to ask about returning unopened, unused bottles for cash.

Some things to consider when ordering liquor: the ages of your guests, the time of day of the reception and how long it will go, inside or outside reception, etc. Also, do you think more of your guests are beer drinkers or wine drinkers or mixed drink people. This will determine somewhat the variety of what you buy. Some people may also specify certain brands of liquor that they prefer and soda water, tonic water, etc.

Your best bet would be to talk with the liquor store (where you will be purchasing the alcohol). They know how many cups a keg of beer holds (you can get different sizes). You might be able to figure out a bottle of booze by dividing 1 1/2 to 2 oz. of liquor in the total oz. size of the bottle. 60 oz of Windsor = 30 to 40 drinks, a bottle of wine = 4 - 6 glasses, etc. You could figure 1-2 drinks per hour per drinking guest. Also check if you can return any unopened bottles or kegs for your money back.

For the champagne toast, you can probably get 6-7 glasses per bottle (depending again on the size of the bottle). So you need to figure out how many people will get champagne glasses (children probably won't). Also you may want some non-alcoholic for those who do not/cannot drink alcohol. For instance, for 100 drinking/toasting guests at one glass per person, you would need 17 bottles.

For wine with dinner, figure 2 glasses per person, so at 5 glasses per bottle, for 100 drinking guests you would need 40 bottles.

You may consider hiring several bartenders for 100 guests. One for every 50 guests for the cocktail hour and then one per seventy guests after the cocktail hour works well.

Reception Activities

Can you give me a list of fun activities to do at the wedding reception?

Besides the regular reception activities, eating, toasting, dancing, cake cutting, throwing bouquet, etc. you could have picture boards with bride/groom growing up or slide shows of bride/groom's growing up, professional dancers or entertainers, wandering musicians, solo singers, readings/speeches, the dollar dance, disposable cameras on each table for guests to take candid photos with, etc. Sometimes DJs have props and play games with guests and/or live bands are always entertaining to watch.

Guests are probably not expecting lots of activities at a wedding reception and are happy to be fed and visit with you, other family members and each other.

Reception Site

Reception Site

The reception is a party, a celebration of your marriage – the tone and style should reflect and compliment your wedding theme. Again. Planning ahead will ensure that everything goes smoothly according to your plans. The hour of the ceremony will be a guide as to the appropriate reception time to choose. Ideally, invite all your guests to both the ceremony and the reception, if possible. The reception should follow the ceremony immediately.

Location

Once you have decided on the number of guests, the type of reception you want, and the amount of money you want to spend, you will need to choose a location. Some ideas of who to contact are listed below:

• Hotels - many also offer package deals including special room rates for guests.
• Historical mansions - check with historical societies, chamber of commerce or yellow pages. Elegant mansions can often offer unique reception sites.
• Specialty wedding sites - some locations cater specifically to weddings and can provide a full-service location, e.g. The Inn at Mystic in CT.
• Fraternal organizations – try your local Moose, Elks, Knights of Columbus, Fraternal Order of Police, Eagles, Veterans of Foreign Wars, or American Legion lodges. Many rent their halls to non-members. Each has its own rules and policies.
• Churches – Many have halls they will rent to members and non-members as well. Again, check on their policies.
• Country club.
• Restaurants with banquet rooms – Check your local Yellow Pages.
• Ballrooms – Check your local Yellow Pages.
• Parks – Check city, county and state parks with suitable facilities.
• Home – Be sure there is enough room for everyone to move about comfortably and sufficient parking space available.
• Outdoors – You may want to rent a tent so that you have a covering over your head in case of rainy weather.

Check you local Yellow Pages for names of places to contact, or ask friends, relatives, and recent newlyweds for suggestions.

Once you have narrowed down your search, here are some questions to ask before you book a reception site:

• Is there a rental fee and what does it include? How many hours does this include?
• Are there restrictions on decorations, flowers, candles, photography, etc.?
• Are any decorations included in your rental fees (e.g. table decorations)?
• Will you need to pay extra for services like bartenders, janitorial, parking attendants, coat-check, etc.
• What about parking and cost?
• Is there a limitation on the number of people the room will hold and for what type of reception - sit down meal, buffet, etc.?
• What time can your guests be admitted and is there adequate space outside the room if they have to wait?
• When can vendors deliver items - cake, decorations, etc?
• Is there a dance floor, how big, any extra charges, and any restrictions on music/musicians/equipment?
• Are there microphones and/or any other equipment provided? At what cost?
• Who will do the catering - must you use theirs?
• Is there adequate kitchen facilities?
• Is there a wedding coordinator or banquet manager who will be in charge and can you meet him/her before the reception?
• Are there restrictions on smoking and is there a separate location set aside for smokers?
• Is there liability insurance in case someone gets injured?
• What is their policy if something gets damaged or broken?
• What is the payment schedule and when do you have to guarantee number of guests?
• Is the deposit refundable and what is the cancellation policy?
• Are there any other activities going on at the same site or any other weddings booked for the same day? If so, do they also have music?

Decorations

The color scheme you choose for your wedding should follow through – from your attendants' dresses and flowers to the colors you choose to decorate the hall. Discuss with the manager as to what extra touches are necessary and/or allowable. They may also have recommendations for vendors who have previously decorated the site and what was done.

Many locations may provide some decorations included in your rental fee, such as table centerpieces, fresh flowers, etc. If you have an outside wedding, flowers may already be there and your challenge may be how to decorate tents and food tables.

Also, it is often more convenient to hire someone to decorate the reception hall or site, as well as to remove the decorations and clean up. Some sites require all decorations to be gone directly after the reception. Your family or friends may be very willing, but it may not be convenient for them. The hall usually has some personnel available for hire, or a referral list of acceptable persons. Cleanup may also be included in your rental fee, but should be discussed when choosing the site.

The Head Table at the Reception

Naturally, the seat of honor will be yours at the main table during the reception. You will want to make the very best impression, as will the entire wedding party. Here are some helpful hints for the time when all eyes are upon you!

• Keep your voice at a moderate level, and refrain from conversation during any "little" ceremonies – when the best man is giving the newlyweds a toast, or when the clergy-person is saying a prayer before the meal, etc.
• Concentrate when you are eating – be careful so that you don't accidentally spill some food or beverage on that beautiful dress. If you're too nervous to eat, don't force yourself. But do eat something if you plan to indulge in a few ceremonial toasts.
• Keep that wedding glow about yourself – Remember you're the focus of attention for the whole crowd, the cameras, and so forth. Groomsmen should leave their jackets on. Bridesmaids should wait to kick off their shoes!
• Appoint a special person to wait on the head table to keep it uncluttered. A low centerpiece should be used so that it won't block anyone's view.
• If guests jointly propose a toast, try to give everyone the pleasure of acknowledging their toast by giving each other a short kiss.
• Rise to greet guests who come to offer their best wishes, and let them know how glad you are that they could come.

If you have a head table, the wedding party should be seated facing the guests, so that everyone can see. Your groom should sit to your left, your maid of honor will sit next to the groom, and the best man will go next to you. The bridesmaids and groomsmen will be seated alternately around the rest of the table. You may also wish to include the clergy-person, your parents, the groom's parents, grandparents, and godparents.

Many couples are foregoing the head table in favor of regular smaller tables, like the guests sit at. One benefit of this is that you can also seat spouses or guests of the wedding party with their respective attendant. Some feel this is more comfortable for everyone involved in the wedding. It also takes up less room than a head table, if space is limited. Individual tables are also less formal, depending on the atmosphere you want at your reception.

Be a Wise Consumer

Pay with a credit card (deposits too). That way if you are unhappy with the service or have problems that aren't resolved, you may have some recourse with the credit card company. Don't forget to ask for references and check them out. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau in your local area prior to booking a vendor, to see if there have been any complaints and if so, how they were handled. Be sure to get any agreements in writing, so there won't be any misunderstandings later as to what was supposed to be done.

Reception for 100

I would like to know a few ideas about having a reception for about 100 people and where abouts I could have it?

Under the "Great Ideas Topic List" in Plan there are lots of helpful tips. One of them is Reception which gives suggestions on location and other details. See Reception in EZ Wedding Planner for details.

Receiving Line

We would like to do a receiving line outside of the church. How much time should we budget for this. We are planning on having about 200 guests.

It depends somewhat on you and your guests and how much they each stop to talk with you. You can move it along more quickly by stopping someone who wants to chat by saying you will talk more with them later, etc. (and then be sure you do.) Also, the fewer people you have standing in the receiving line, the less time it will take your guests to walk through it. Don't have bridesmaids or lots of family members in the line with you. If the weather is not nice, many guests will hurry through or skip it altogether. Depending on weather, you may consider having the receiving line at the reception site instead.

But in any event, if each guest took 10 seconds average it would be a little over a half-hour total. You know some will take more than that, so you should figure 45 minutes to an hour to get 200 guests through a receiving line.