Free Usage

I accessed your EZWeddingPlanner.com website and I would like you to confirm that there is absolutely no cost for anything once I sign up. Would you please email me and let me know if this is correct. How do you get paid for this service? It is great but I wonder how you can afford to offer such a service. Please advise.

It is free to brides and others planning weddings. It is supported by advertisers (see the 2 small ads on the top of your screen and the Resources section on the top menu bar.) You also can choose to have your name given to advertisers to mail you more information on their products/services, and/or to receive emails about them. EZWeddingPlanner.com sends you daily email reminders from your Plan (when you have a Plan item due) and at the bottom of these, we include several Sponsor's/advertiser's web sites, which you can go to and learn more about them.

You can also become a pledged member of EZWeddingPlanner by donating any amount you want. This gives you many additional features. For instance, your data will be saved until about 2 months after your wedding date as a regular user, at which time it will be deleted. As a pledged member it will stay up for 4 months and then moved to another of our sites for free. As a pledged member, you can also download your guest data whenever you want (to ascii delimited to put into a spreadsheet, etc - see Lists) and print out all your info too. Enjoy!

What Food to Serve

We are having a late (6:30pm)wedding,(7:30pm) reception. What would you suggest we serve - dinner, heavy hors d'oeuvres and dessert, breakfast? We are not sure what we should serve. Any suggestions?

For a late evening wedding, it's best to have a more substantial seated meal, buffet, or dinner-by-the bite reception. By the bite can include a mix of hot and cold passed hors d'oeuvres and carving stations, pasta bars, sushi setups and other buffet tables filled with bite-sized food. Consider the season - lighter meal in warm/hot weather, heavier in cool/cold weather. A good caterer can prepare a great menu that reflects your personal tastes and your budget.

We've been to a late afternoon/evening wedding that served a large sit-down meal for the reception right after the wedding and then hot dogs and chili at midnight. It is totally up to you.

Flowers

FLOWERS

Flowers will enhance your wedding style, as well as add beauty and elegance at the ceremony and reception. It is suggested that you choose a reputable florist well in advance of the wedding date, as the most experienced ones tend to be reserved far in advance. The florist will be able to assist you in selecting the appropriate flowers to match your color scheme, advising you as to which ones are in season, etc. There is a good Internet site by the Society of American Florists which shows pictures of many flowers and has wedding flower tips including how to select a florist for your wedding.

Traditionally, the bride's family pays for floral decoration for the ceremony and reception, as well as the bridesmaids' bouquets. The groom provides the bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, corsages for mothers and grandmothers, and boutonnieres for himself, fathers, and all men in the wedding party.

Silk flowers may be less expensive than real flowers, however much of the expense is in the labor if you have a florist arrange them. So if you are comfortable arranging them yourself, you can probably save a bundle. You could also consider substituting silk exotics (like orchids) for real ones and have the florist make combination bouquets. Some silk flowers look as pretty as the real thing and it's hard to tell the difference. Also, if you have a silk bouquet, it will still look the same for years to come, whereas real flowers will need to be preserved or dried or thrown out.

EZWeddingPlanner has a free form list that you can keep track of what flowers you need and what you are purchasing, etc. Click here for this list.

Flowers for the Ceremony

The purpose of flowers at a church ceremony is to help enhance the worship space. These may range from vases of flowers to more elaborate arrangements with sprays of flowers lining the aisle. Be sure to check with your clergy-person as to what the church allows.

If you are being married at home or in a hotel or club, it is best to select an attractive spot such as a fireplace or large window and decide what floral arrangements will best enhance it. Again, your professional florist will be able to help you make your decision. Be aware of the fact that some churches do not allow silk or artificial flowers because they are contradictory to the symbol and tradition of freshness, purity, life, wholeness, etc. On the other hand, some may not allow potted flowers/plants inside the church. Also, the chancel area of the Protestant church is viewed much differently than the sanctuary of the Catholic church. In fact, most Catholic churches to not even allow any flowers on the altar.

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Many brides choose to get married in a park or arboretum which already has flowers, so there is no need to add more.

Flowers for the Attendants

The bridal bouquet is the most beautiful of all, but the gown you will be wearing will determine the type of bouquet you choose. The gown is still the main focus. Keep in mind that the bride's bouquet and her attendants' bouquets should be coordinated in theme and color. You may also choose to carry a white prayer book or small Bible. If the bride is wearing a street-length dress, she may choose to wear a corsage instead of carrying a bouquet.

If you show your florist swatches of your bridesmaids' dresses and sketches of the dress style, he/she will be able to suggest suitable bouquets and head pieces.

The bouquet for the maid (or matron) of honor may be slightly different from the bridesmaids' bouquets.

The flowers carried by a flower girl should be demure, as befits her age and size. A small basket or nosegay is best. Carrying a basket is easy and natural and gives her something to concentrate on as she walks down the aisle.

Corsages for mothers and grandmothers should be chosen with the color of their dresses in mind. They should be kept simple – a cymbidium orchid has been a favorite for many.

Boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party are simply a symbol of participation in the wedding, so they should be small and simple. Carnations are frequently used, but other possibilities include one white (or matching color) sweetheart rose, or a sprig of stephanotis. The groom's boutonniere is generally a flower of the same type as those in the bride's bouquet, and should be different from those of the other men in the wedding party.

Reception Flowers

Reception flowers should be coordinated with the wedding theme in both color and design. Since your guests will be spending more time at the reception than at the wedding, you may want to consider where most of your flower budget should be spent. The buffet table is the center of attention and therefore the centerpiece should be elaborate. You will also need centerpieces for the table where the guests will be seated. Consider the color of the table linens; white, for instance, may wash out pastel colors. Consider using clay pots with in-season flowers as centerpieces. Guests may then take them home as a favor. For example, tulips or daffodils in spring would be pretty. See the flower guides below for seasonal suggestions. You may also wish to use fresh flowers, or silk flowers, on your wedding cake. This can be done easily by your caterer or baker. The base of the cake can be garlanded with greens or surrounded by the wedding bouquets during the reception and for pictures. If an evening reception is planned, strings of small white twinkle lights entwined in floral decorations can add an enchanting touch.

Flower Guide

The flowers as listed will probably be available the year round, but it is wise to check with the florist before making a decision.

Alstroemaria	African Daisies	Baby's Breath	Bachelor Buttons
Calla Lily	Carnations	Chrysanthemums	Cornflowers
Daisy	Delphiniums	Easter Lilies	Freesia
Gardenias	Gerbera	Gladioli	Iris
Ivy	Lilies-of-the-Valley	Nerine	Orchids
Roses	Snapdragons	Stephanotis	Stock
Tuberose

The following flowers are usually available for autumn weddings:

Asters	Autumn leaves & foliage	Bouvardia	Celosia
China Aster	Chrysanthemums	Dahlias	Euphorbia fulgens
Grape ivy	Hydrangea	Shaggy-petaled Fujis	Shasta Daisies
Spider Mums	Statice	Tuberoses	Viburnum berries
Yarrow	Zinnias

The following flowers are usually available for winter weddings:

Acacia	Amaryllis	Calla Lilies	Camellias
Cyclamen	Dendrobium	Eucalyptus berries	Forget-Me-Nots
Heather	Helleborus	Holly	Iris
Lilacs	Madonna Lilies	Narcissus	Pepper berries
Poinsettias (white or red)	Santolina	Stephanotis	Sweet Peas
Tulips	Winter greens

The following flowers are usually available for spring weddings:

Apple Blossoms	Anemone	Azalea	Calla Lilies
Camellia	Daffodils	Dianthus	Dogwood
Easter Lilies	Forget-Me-Nots	Forsythia Branches	Geraniums
Garden roses	Hyacinth	Hydrangea	Iceland poppy
Iris	Jasmine	Jonquils	Larkspur
Lilacs	Lily of the valley	Mimosa	Narcissus
Pansy	Peonies	Primrose	Ranunculus
Sweet Peas	Tulips	Viburnum	Violets

The following flowers are usually available for summer weddings:

Asters	Bachelor's button	Bells of Ireland	Blue lace flower
Blue salvia	Calla Lilies	Clematis	Cornflower
Daisies	Delphinium	Eremurus	Forget-Me-Nots
Honeysuckle	Iris	Joepye weed	Larkspur
Lilies	Lysimachia	Peonies	Phlox
Queen Anne's Lace	Rosemary	Sedum	Shasts Daisies
Snowballs	Stock	Sunflower	Sweet Peas
Sweet William	Tuberoses	Zinnias

Again, this is just a guideline – check with your local florist as to what is available.

Charity in Lieu of Favors

Where can I get more information about making a donation to a charity in lieu of favors?

Favors are not mandatory, but most brides have them. If you would rather do a charity, you could leave a note written in calligraphy on each table stating that "in honor of the wedding of Claudette and Charles, a donation to a favorite charity has been made." You can also specify which charity if you like. Then you can give how ever much money you would like (what favors would have cost or some other amount) to the charity of your choice. We're sure that any charity will be happy to receive your gift.

Many couples print some personal note to their guests on the back of their wedding programs, thanking them for being a part of their celebration, etc. You could add the donation note here also if you wish, specifying that in lieu of favors you have made a charitable contribution.

Father's Speech

I need to find out what the father of the bride says in his speech.

He needn't give a long speech, but can just welcome the guests when all are seated and propose a toast to the couple sometime during the evening.

A sample parent's toast could be:

"When children find true love,
parents find true joy."
Here's to your joy and ours,
from this day forward.

Or, whatever he feels like saying. Toasts should never be over 3 minutes long.

Fathers and Children

We have two questions: (1) How do you include a stepfather who has pretty much supported the bride financially and mentally and the bio father in giving away the bride whom she is close to but he just doesn't provide for her and (2) how do you include a son from a previous relationship who is 2 yrs old and a 1 yr old daughter from this relationship in the wedding?

You can word the invitations from your step-father and mother (who are probably paying for the wedding). Your step-father can walk you down the aisle, or your bio father could, or both of them together can walk you down. You could also have the first dance with your bio father and have your step father do everything else. Or one of them could do a reading during the ceremony.

The children are pretty young to have any sort of active role in the wedding process. You could dress them cutely (a small tux and very small white lacy dress). It's probably a good idea to enlist a baby sitter to watch them during the ceremony and make arrangements for them after too (they will probably not be awake during the whole reception, nor would you want them to be, as they will need naps or to get to bed early). You can list them in the wedding program and include them in wedding photos.

Labels

How do I make mailing labels in EZWeddingPlanner?

 To bring your People data into a spreadsheet or database, notice that some of the lists have the word delimited associated with them. The purpose of this is to help you import data into your own spreadsheet or database, perhaps for printing labels. The list is shown in very small type and has commas between each field (see Invitation, Delimited List as an example).

To import that file into a database, spreadsheet or word document do the following: Copy the list into the clipboard then paste that into a text file (like WordPad in Windows), then save that as a file. Import the file into your spreadsheet or word document. From there you can set up a label generator. If you save the file with a name like mylist.csv then Excel will open it directly.

The Invitations Lists has Excel Spreadsheet. If Excel is installed on your computer, you may be able to directly open the list. Be sure to save the list to your computer as an .xls file.

Etiquette

Do you have suggestions for a source for wedding etiquette?

 EZWeddingPlanner contains a wealth of etiquette and planning information. In the Plan selection you can click on the yellow light bulbs for individual ideas, or click on Advice on the top menu bar for the list of topics. Also, the Q&A selection contains many wedding questions other brides have asked and answers.

Wedding Etiquette Book Recommendation  Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 5e

Entering People

I am filling out the "people" section in EZWeddingPlanner and am not sure how to do the person's spouse. For example, my parents, Pat and Dick Cook. Do I just fill out one for my father, or do I do two - one for her and one for him?

The reason you may want to enter them separately is if you want individual names on table place settings, they will each show up in Seating and when you print those lists both their names will show up. Also, on invitations, you may want to have both names to be able to address envelopes (Lists give you lots of permutations of names/addresses, etc.). Look at Lists and Seating to see what I mean.

If neither of these matter to you, you can enter them together as Mr & Mrs, etc. and then 2 people as number in party and invited, etc. Then in seating they will appear as 2 (to seat 2 correctly), but only with one name. But the RSVP numbers, etc. will still be correct.

Engagement Party

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

When is the Engagement Party Held

You can have an engagement party as soon as you become engaged. Some people time it for just before or just after a newspaper announcement of the engagement. I have found one source that said no farther out than one year and no closer to the wedding than six months. Obviously this is not firm, since some people get engaged and married within a six month time frame. Also, some people have 2 years or more of engagement before the actual wedding. The engagement party is really for both families to get together and get to know each other better. So, the earlier the better, especially if wedding finances need to be discussed and agreed on by both families.

Who Hosts

The groom's parents can call the bride's parents and express their happiness about the upcoming marriage. Engagement parties can be hosted by the groom's or bride's parents (it can be anything from a buffet, barbecue, or cocktail party, to a formal party) This is an opportunity for the two families to get to know each other and to introduce you to their family and friends. In fact, an engagement party can be hosted by any family member - or even a friend - who would like to have this party for you. If neither family steps forward with an engagement party, the two of you can invite the parents out for a luncheon or some other get together for them to meet. Generally, both sets of parents attend the engagement party, whoever hosts it.

Invitations

Invitations, if sent, can be worded like: Please join us for ______(brunch, cocktails, back-yard barbecue, etc.) in honor of Mark and Susan (or Mark Larsen and Susan Katz). Invitations can be issued formally, handwritten, or telephoned. Some people prefer to have a party under some other pretense, like a cocktail party, and then "spring" the engagement on the guests as a surprise. Doing it the surprise way makes the announcement without the expectation of gifts from the guests, although some may send a gift after-the-fact. Generally, guests invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. The only exception is if the wedding is a very small and private affair.

Where Held

Generally engagement parties are held at the home of one set of parents or some other relative's house, depending on circumstances. It can also be held at a restaurant or other social setting. If parents are geographically separated, several engagement parties may be held in different locations, depending on travel schedules of the bride and groom and/or other family.

Engagement Annoucements

Who do I contact about engagement announcements and what do they say?

 Engagement announcements can be sent as soon as you become engaged. They typically are sent to your hometown newspaper and to your fiancé's local paper. If you and your fiancé are living and working elsewhere, you can send it to that newspaper too. Look in the announcement section of the newspapers you have an interest in; most print submission instructions. If not, call the paper's society or lifestyle department for their guidelines or go to their web site for this information. Some may allow for on-line submissions. If not, most will want the announcement submission to be double spaced. Many people also submit engagement photos along with the announcement (usually 8x10 or 5x7 glossy B & W). Ask if the photo's will be returned. Ask about deadlines; some take info over the phone or on-line, others may require up to 10 days notice on their forms. Specify on what date you want your announcement to appear (Sunday is popular for weddings). Generally only the month the wedding will happen is mentioned, not the specific date.

Some sample announcements:

Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. The wedding will take place in June. [The city is listed only when it is different from where the paper is published.]

If someone's parents are divorced, they are generally both mentioned and wording depends on how friendly they still are. Ms. Nancy Johnson announces the engagement of her daughter, Susan Lynn to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque. Miss Johnson is also the daughter of Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis. or Ms. Nancy Johnson and Mr. Henry Johnson of Minneapolis announce the engagement of their daughter, Susan Lynn, to Mr. Mark Spritle, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

If you are not on good terms with either parent or they are both deceased, you can announce your own engagement. The wording could be something like: Announcement is made of the engagement of Miss Susan Lynn Johnson to Mr. Mark Spritle... or Susan Lynn Johnson, an attorney for Bittle and Bittle, is to be married in June to Mark Spritle, an engineer with Honeywell. Ms. Johnson is the daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Henry Johnson. Mr. Spritle is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque.

Many people also include employment, education, offices held in professional associations, military service, etc, in their announcements. Nancy and Henry Johnson of Minneapolis and Mary and Matthew Spritle of Albuquerque, are happy to announce the engagement of their children Susan Lynn and Mark Andrew. Susan is a 1994 graduate of West High School and a 1998 graduate of The University of Minnesota. She is currently employed at Bittle and Bittle Law Firm. Mark is a 1994 graduate of King High School and a 1998 graduate of Harvard. He is currently finishing up his Master's degree at Stanford and is employed at Honeywell as an engineer. A June 2000 wedding is planned.

Seating Divorced Parents

My fiance's parents are divorced. His mother is single and still carries her married name, but his father has a serious girlfriend who will be attending the wedding and ceremony. How do we sit his parents and his father's guest at the ceremony and at the reception? His parents get along fine, but it is just awkward.

When the groom's parents are divorced, but not remarried, if they are congenial, they might sit together in the right front row at Christian weddings; women sit on the left and men on the right at Jewish ceremonies. Otherwise his mother sits in the right front pew and his father and girlfriend sit in the third row on the right side. (This is also an individual decision.) For bride's parents, simply reverse the seating.

The reception seating is also a personal call. Ask his mother and father (separately) how comfortable they are regarding seating in both the ceremony and reception. This is your best guide. They can all sit at the same table (head table or individual) if they are all on good terms. Or they can be seated at separate tables and even different parts of the room. Since you say they get along fine, and if they decide to sit together, enjoy your day and good fortune in reasonable in-laws and don't give it another worry. It may be more awkward for you than for them or your other guests. Most parents are sensitive to getting along extra well at children's weddings, so as not to cause extra stress or spoil the day. If you don't make an issue of it, they may not either.

Divorced Parents

My parents are divorced and I'd like some ideas on the invitation wording.

Generally, the parent who raised you does the inviting. If that is your mother and she hasn't remarried, she has a variety of choices for wording her name - Mrs. Johnson Smith (maiden/married) or Mary Johnson Smith, or Mrs. Mary Smith, or Mrs. Mary Alice Smith requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Jennifer...

If you parents are still friendly, they can both issue the invitation... Mary Alice Smith and John Martin Smith request the honour of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jennifer... or Mrs. Mary Alice Smith and Mr. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Jennifer...

If your mother has remarried, you could say: Mr. and Mrs. Paul Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. Martin's daughter...(same goes if your father has remarried)

If your parents are not speaking to each other and don't want their names together, you can have one parent invite to the ceremony and the other to the reception (both sent to guests in the same envelope). Mary Alice Smith requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter, Jennifer... and then John Martin Smith requests the pleasure of your company ..date, time, location of reception, RSVP, etc.

Or you can simply say Jennifer Lynn Smith and Craig Allen Jones together with their parents request you to share in their joy as they are united in marriage...

Also, go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements, click on the light bulb on the right. That has lots of advice and sample wordings.

Dinner and Dancing

How do I word the invitation to say that there will be dinner and dancing?

Below the location line on the invitation you can say:
Reception immediately following - if it is at the same site as the ceremony,
or
Reception immediately following the ceremony
Mark's Swing Band
Glen Wood Country Club

or you can have a separate reception card like:
To help us celebrate
please join us for the reception
immediately following the ceremony
IDS Tower 50th floor
710 Marquette Avenue
Minneapllis, MN
Music by The Jay Anderson Trio

R.s.v.p. [this can be on the reception card or on a separate rsvp card]
827 Arbor Lane
Hopkins, MN 55343

There is no need to specifically indicate there will be dancing, although you could if you prefer. Most receptions have a DJ or band and dancing.

Inter-marriage between Faiths

My fiancé and I are of different faiths. He is Catholic, and I am of an alternative path. We agreed that we would be married by an official of the Catholic church (for him) but have no bible readings. We would plan all readings ... The questions are (a) I heard a Catholic church will not marry a non-Catholic to a Catholic. Is this true? (b) Can we plan the readings ourselves? We decided that we don't want bible readings (for me). (c) Can I include a person of my own faith in the actual marriage process in addition to the church clergy, even though they have no real legal power to marry us?

Besides the Catholic Ceremony Preparation, today most dioceses permit mixed marriages, i.e..Catholic & a Protestant or of the Jewish Faith. The ceremony may take place in the church. Contact your parish priest for hours when the ceremony may take place. The ceremonies are usually performed before six o'clock in the evening.

In dioceses where mixed marriages are not permitted in the church, the ceremony is performed either in the presbytery, sacristy, or a private chapel designated for said marriage. The ceremony is simple and without the Nuptial Mass.

The Catholic Party must have a baptismal Certificate, and besides filling out the prenuptial questionnaire, both parties sign promises guaranteeing to baptize and educate in the catholic faith alone, all children born of the marriage. The non-Catholic must promise also that he/she will not in any way interfere with the catholic party in the practice of his/her religion.

The Catholic ceremony may be personalized with family participation. Traditional vows are required with only slight variations, which must be approved by the priest.

Interfaith marriages are very common today. Priests often co-officiate with the clergy of other faith.

Marriage is a Sacrament in the Catholic Church, so regardless of where it takes place or what adaptations in form are made, the dignity and solemnity of the occasion must always be upheld.

[Answer compliments of Dianna Emerson, Bonne Foi Bridals & Weddings]

Different Budget

What if we have a different budget than the $15,000.00 on the EZWeddingPlanner web page? Could you divide it up for us with a budget of $8,000?

You will pretty much have to do that yourself. It really depends on how many will be at your wedding. You need to decide which items are really important to you and allocate the money accordingly. For instance, you may want to have a private ceremony and larger reception, or spend more on photography and less on flowers or food. Or have a simple ceremony and a grand honeymoon. Or invite a small number of relatives and/or close friends and have an elaborate reception. You get the idea... It is imperative to discuss with parents or other wedding benefactors who is going to pay for what and how much everyone is willing to contribute, before you commit to expensive choices.

Destin, Florida

My daughter is planning a beach wedding in Destin, Florida next spring. Any neat ideas? We live in Mississippi, the bride lives in New York City and the groom is in the military, so we will be planning this wedding long distance. Since this will be a relatively small wedding, I would like to make it nice.......but we are on a budget. Any suggestions would be nice.

Try going to a major search engine (like Google) and searching on "Destin and FL". This will lead you to local hotels, bed and breakfasts, boat rentals, and other local vendors. Lots of these are directly on the beach and may provide a great wedding/reception location with facilities and people on staff to help you plan the details. If you book far enough in advance, you may be able to take over an entire B&B, depending on the number of people traveling to the wedding and your budget.

You may also want to consider using a wedding coordinator in the Destin area who can be a great help finding and dealing with local resources before any of you arrive. A local coordinator will certainly give you piece of mind and take a lot of the stress out of planning long-distance yourselves.

If the wedding is directly on the beach, consider some of the following:

A beach cookout and swimming in the ocean - guests come prepared and dress casually. You might want to have a tent or large umbrellas available at the beach so those who need to get out of the sun have somewhere to go. Also have lots of water available (to drink). Bring sun screen for guests who may have forgotten theirs. Bring blankets to sit and eat on (also in case the guests don't come prepared). You may need permits to host a party on the beach. Consider port-a-potty rental if you are far away from rest room facilities. Outside weddings are always subject to weather, so you may want to have a plan B in case the weather is nasty.

Delete Tables

How do I delete tables in the Seating Plan of EZWeddingPlanner?

To delete the last table, first be sure Use number in family is selected. Then, if the last table is empty, check Del on the table and Make the Changes. Repeat until all the tables you want gone, are. This instruction is repeated near the bottom of the Seating page.

You can also add more tables if you need them, so don't worry about deleting too many tables.

Delete Plan Items

How do I delete items from the wedding planner list in EZWeddingPlanner?

In EZWeddingPlanner/Plan, click on the item at the left. You will see a delete option when the detail page for that item comes up.

The EZWeddingPlanner Plan is very flexible and can be tailored to your specific wedding needs. You can add your own personal items to your plan and delete the ones that do not apply. You can also just show the items yet to be done. You receive email reminders from your EZWeddingPlanner plan so you never forget all those important details that make your wedding go smoothly.

Deceased Parent

My fiance's biological father is deceased and his mother is remarried, my parents were never married and neither are remarried (I share my fathers last name), we want to include both of our sets of parents on the invitation and don't know how to word it?

Go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements in EZWeddingPlanner, click on the light bulb on the right. That has lots of advice and sample wordings. Here are also a few suggestions:

Mary Johnson and John Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Nicole Martin to Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Mark Smith and Mr. Mike Anderson (deceased) on date, etc...	Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin together with Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Smith and the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc....
Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc...	or a religious version which doesn't list all the parents: Desiring God's will for their lives and believing that includes each other Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents invite you to share their joy as they are united in marriage on date, etc.
Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith (and the late Mike Anderson) request the honour of your presence at their marriage on....

Dancing

What type of music should be played to facilitate a fun, party-like atmosphere to a wedding with a family who doesn't normally dance?

If many of the guests have a certain ethnic background, perhaps some music typical of that country would break the ice. Also, slower dances may tend to entice some of the older couples to dance (unless they are used to Polkas, etc.). If you have a DJ or Master of Ceremonies, they can work the guests and invite them to dance. Familiar songs may also do the trick. A DJ will have suggestions.

You may also get the help of the people in your wedding party. Ask them to mix-it up a bit and ask various guests to dance with them. This also applies to the bride/groom. Very few people will refuse to dance with the bride/groom if asked. And, once there are several couples on the dance floor, some of those people who may be shy to dance, may then join in.

Invite Co-workers

Is it appropriate to invite co-workers and boss's from work to your wedding?

If you are also friends with them and have social contact beyond your office contact, you can certainly invite them to your wedding. But they should not be just casual acquaintances, which would probably cover most of your co-workers. Inviting them or not may also depend on the size of your guest list and your budget. Typically, business associates and coworkers can be the first to drop off your list, if you need to cut it down a bit. You could send them wedding announcements after the fact, which can also include your name preference (changing or keeping your maiden name, etc.) and new address, etc. If you have many co-workers who you feel close to, but did not invite to the wedding, you could have a casual postwedding party or after-work affair when you return from your honeymoon.

If you work in a very small company and there are a very few employees, you may consider inviting them because this is generally a much more intimate group than that of a larger company. It also depends on the size of your budget, any limitations on reception seating, etc.

How to Count Children's Food

I'm planning our weddding by myself, so of course I have many questions. One very simple question is regarding children. Our reception dinner will be simple and accurate. My question is, should children be counted as an adult plate, or are we supposed to count 2 children as 1 adult? We don't want to be short food, but since our budget is tight, we don't want mounds of the food left over either, any ideas. A lot of children are going to be attending, enough so that they will make a significant difference.

This question really should be put to whoever is preparing/serving your reception meal. Some count by plate, regardless of who's eating from it. Some may have children's portions which they would charge less for. And if it's a buffet rather than a sit-down service, there may be different charges for children vs adults. The charging scheme varies with location. If you are preparing the food vs a hotel chef for instance, then your thought is probably close - to count two children as one adult for amount. It's also probably a good bet that elderly people will eat much less than younger (teens & 20's age) people, so quantity eaten will vary by the type of guests you are inviting.

Pre-marital Counseling

We are going to get married in Texas but live in Maryland. Could you help us find someone who performs pre-marital counseling?

Generally the pre-marital counseling is associated with marriages held in a church or synagogue. The requirements differ with religions and churches. Our best suggestion is to contact the officiant who will perform your marriage and discuss pre-marital counseling and/or if you regularly go to a church where you live, discuss this with your clergyperson. If you do not regularly attend anywhere, contact a local church/synagogue of the same faith as where you will be married. If this is a requirement prior to your marriage, you can probably do it in Maryland. If you aren't getting married in a religious setting, then pre-marital counseling is not a requirement before your wedding, although it may be a good idea.

Wedding Coordinator

I notice that hiring a wedding consultant is at the top of the list. What exactly do they do? Do they help with decorations etc.? If you opt not to have a consultant or coordinator, do you then make all your own arrangements as far as finding a caterer, florist, band, decorator etc. Is the florist usually the decorator for the entire party and ceremony or is there a separate person to decorate and do the flower arrangements, corsages, bouquets etc.

Wedding coordinators usually have a variety of packages that you can pay for - some include the whole thing, from finding vendors and negotiating contracts, to spending the whole wedding day with you making sure everything goes as planned and actually doing the detail work. You don't have to have a coordinator. They work especially well for weddings in other locations from where the bride lives, brides with very busy work schedules, or for very large, elaborate weddings.

Yes, without one, you (or parents, etc.) do all the arrangements, find vendors, decide on decorations, etc.... Do it ALL. See the Advice section in EZWeddingPlanner for lots of ideas on what you need and how to do it (including contracts with vendors).

Florists usually will just deliver the flowers where you want them (perhaps several different locations), but don't always decorate or stay longer than just dropping off the flowers. Some may place altar flowers, aisle flowers, candle flowers, etc. in the correct place at the ceremony site. They may decorate your cake with flowers if it has already been delivered to the reception site before the florist gets there. It probably all depends on how much you want to pay them and for what services. Tell them what you want and ask what they will do and for what cost.

Some reception sites will decorate for you if you provide the decorations - some won't. Some provide table centerpieces free as part of the package deal and will set them up too. You will have to check on what's included when you book the site. There are also companies that you can hire to decorate the reception site - which can get very elaborate if you like - chair covers, ceiling/wall/window decorations, plants, theme stuff, etc.

Usually, the corsages, etc. are delivered to the ceremony site (by the florist) and then you have someone designated as the person to pin them on the correct people. The florist won't stay around for the wedding and do this.

Contracts

CONTRACTS

Be a Wise Consumer

• Pay with a credit card (deposits too). That way if you are unhappy with the service or have problems that aren't resolved, you may have some recourse with the credit card company.
• Don't forget to ask for references and check them out. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau in your local area prior to booking a vendor, to see if there have been any complaints and if so, how they were handled.
• Get all the details written out - don't leave anything to memory and oral agreements, so there won't be any misunderstandings later as to what was supposed to be done.
• Don't be pressured to sign immediately. Take time to review it and have someone else look at it also. Ask questions if there are details you don't like or understand. All contracts can be negotiated and changed; there are not absolutes.
• Be sure the merchant also signs the contract and agrees to its terms.
• If you are incurring large expenses, you may want to consider wedding postponement/cancellation insurance to cover your investments in deposits, etc., in case of medical emergencies, acts of God, etc. that could cause your wedding not to happen or to be interrupted.

In all contracts, you want the following:

• The total cost and any payment arrangements, including deposits and final payment terms.
• In most cases, you shouldn't be asked to put down more than 50% of the total price before services are completed. The less you pay up front, the less you could lose if you have problems.
• The refund or cancellation policy and agreement on how things will be adjusted if there are mistakes. For instance, if you cancel months in advance, you shouldn't be responsible for the bulk of the cost, since the vendor can re-book your date easily.
• What, if any, overtime costs are there (depending on the service).
• What, if any, gratuities are normal, expected or automatically added to your bill.
• The person responsible for delivery, setup or performance of agreed services (and backup person) and phone numbers.
• See below for more vendor specific details.

Attire

• Include a cancellation clause for return of your deposit if the clothing does not arrive on the desired date or in good condition.
• Choose a delivery date several weeks before the wedding to allow for alterations. Men's clothing may not be available until just before the wedding, as most of this is rental. Be sure there is ample time built-in for these to be fitted properly.
• Specify any alterations that may be included in the price paid, or what exactly the extra alteration charges are and what they cover (for instance, so much per added buttons, hemming, sleeve and waist alterations, any added trimming or details, etc.)
• What is included in rental packages for men's clothing?
• What are the fitting, alteration and final pickup dates and times?
• Will the clothes be pressed and ready to wear on final pickup?
• What are the cleaning requirements (especially for rental) and what is included in the cost?
• What happens if rental clothing is damaged?
• When does the rental attire need to be returned and are there extra charges if there is a delay in return. Be sure whoever returns the clothing gets a receipt of return and any deposits back.
• See Bridal Attire for more suggestions and details.

Flowers

• The date and time of deliveries and the sites: probably your home for bouquets, ceremony site for corsages, boutonnieres and altar/candle holder decorations, the reception site for table arrangements and cake flowers, etc.
• The amount and color of each type of flower ordered (bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres, etc.)
• What substitutes you will accept if your first choices aren't available. And what you don't want (like no daisies or nothing red, etc.)
• The number and sizes of altar and other ceremony arrangements, like pew markers or candle holder decorations and also table or other reception arrangements, like head table, cake table, punch table, etc.
• The condition you expect the flowers to be in (fresh, not wilted or silk, etc.)
• The style, colors and number of accessories like ribbons, vases, etc.
• What, if anything, needs to be returned or picked up, and by whom. Be clear on any deposits and timing for items needing to be returned.
• See Flowers for more suggestions and details.

Music

• See ceremony music for specific considerations on organist, soloists, etc.
• See reception music for specific considerations on bands or DJs.

Photography/Videography

• Specify the name of the photographer and/or videographer you want. Some studios employ numbers of photographers and the samples you liked may have been taken by another photographer than would be assigned to your wedding. Can you get a discounted price if there is a switch for some reason and what is the name of the backup photographer/videographer?
• Will there be any assistants helping the photographer/videographer?
• Specify the attire of the photographer and videographer and assistants (tux or suits, etc.).
• Specify that you owe no money if the photos/video are ruined, lost, or do not turn out correctly (including deposits).
• What backup equipment will be on site, in case of equipment failure.
• What exactly is included in package deals, like hours at the ceremony and reception, who owns the negatives, are there any free pics, like engagement, etc.
• Specify what and how many locations photos/videos will be taken at (bride's house, church, second location, reception site, etc.) What are the arrival and departure times for each.
• How many rolls of film will be shot and how many proofs are provided and in what time frame after the wedding. For videography, how many tapes will be shot and how many cameras will be used.
• What happens to proofs that may not be given to you and can you buy them (or are all included).
• Can the photographer/videographer use your photos and/or video as samples and advertising?
• Are one or more wedding albums included in the price (yours and/or family)?
• What is the time frame for you and your guests to order photos/videos at a discounted rate. What are the costs of reprints or extra tapes during this time and also after this time.
• What are the extra charges for custom detailing on photos and can the photographer do them (like superimposed images, oil-painting-like pictures, very large framed photos, etc.)?
• Is the video edited or unedited? What editing techniques may be included in video (music, credits, etc.) and if not included, what is the extra charge to add them?
• When will the final photos/videos be delivered?
• Are there rules or restrictions on other people (your family and guests) taking pictures at the wedding?
• If the photographer/videographer stays for most of the reception, does he/she expect to be fed?
• See Photography/Videography for more details and suggestions.

Catering

• See Worksheet for details and checklist on what to ask.
• See Interview for ideas on choosing a caterer you like.

Contracts

Do you have a planner to mail out for documentation of flowers, hall, cake, etc...

Look at the Advice section (top menu bar in EZWeddingPlanner) especially the contracts topic.

It is important that you have written contracts with your major wedding vendors. Also, contingencies in writing in case there are problems.

Computer Labels

I am doing my own invitations on my home computer. Is it ok to print the address on the envelopes using my computer or should I hand write them?

Invitations should be addressed by hand. While this certainly takes longer than computer generated addresses, it is the correct etiquette thing to do. If you don't want to or have the time to address them yourself, you could print a list of how they should be addressed and give that to a calligrapher or someone with neat handwriting. Or see: Import People

That said, it is becoming more common for couples to use computer labels to address invitations. While I do not agree with this practice for wedding invitations, I do see it happening more often.