Dinner and Dancing

How do I word the invitation to say that there will be dinner and dancing?

Below the location line on the invitation you can say:
Reception immediately following - if it is at the same site as the ceremony,
or
Reception immediately following the ceremony
Mark's Swing Band
Glen Wood Country Club

or you can have a separate reception card like:
To help us celebrate
please join us for the reception
immediately following the ceremony
IDS Tower 50th floor
710 Marquette Avenue
Minneapllis, MN
Music by The Jay Anderson Trio

R.s.v.p. [this can be on the reception card or on a separate rsvp card]
827 Arbor Lane
Hopkins, MN 55343

There is no need to specifically indicate there will be dancing, although you could if you prefer. Most receptions have a DJ or band and dancing.

Inter-marriage between Faiths

My fiancé and I are of different faiths. He is Catholic, and I am of an alternative path. We agreed that we would be married by an official of the Catholic church (for him) but have no bible readings. We would plan all readings ... The questions are (a) I heard a Catholic church will not marry a non-Catholic to a Catholic. Is this true? (b) Can we plan the readings ourselves? We decided that we don't want bible readings (for me). (c) Can I include a person of my own faith in the actual marriage process in addition to the church clergy, even though they have no real legal power to marry us?

Besides the Catholic Ceremony Preparation, today most dioceses permit mixed marriages, i.e..Catholic & a Protestant or of the Jewish Faith. The ceremony may take place in the church. Contact your parish priest for hours when the ceremony may take place. The ceremonies are usually performed before six o'clock in the evening.

In dioceses where mixed marriages are not permitted in the church, the ceremony is performed either in the presbytery, sacristy, or a private chapel designated for said marriage. The ceremony is simple and without the Nuptial Mass.

The Catholic Party must have a baptismal Certificate, and besides filling out the prenuptial questionnaire, both parties sign promises guaranteeing to baptize and educate in the catholic faith alone, all children born of the marriage. The non-Catholic must promise also that he/she will not in any way interfere with the catholic party in the practice of his/her religion.

The Catholic ceremony may be personalized with family participation. Traditional vows are required with only slight variations, which must be approved by the priest.

Interfaith marriages are very common today. Priests often co-officiate with the clergy of other faith.

Marriage is a Sacrament in the Catholic Church, so regardless of where it takes place or what adaptations in form are made, the dignity and solemnity of the occasion must always be upheld.

[Answer compliments of Dianna Emerson, Bonne Foi Bridals & Weddings]

Different Budget

What if we have a different budget than the $15,000.00 on the EZWeddingPlanner web page? Could you divide it up for us with a budget of $8,000?

You will pretty much have to do that yourself. It really depends on how many will be at your wedding. You need to decide which items are really important to you and allocate the money accordingly. For instance, you may want to have a private ceremony and larger reception, or spend more on photography and less on flowers or food. Or have a simple ceremony and a grand honeymoon. Or invite a small number of relatives and/or close friends and have an elaborate reception. You get the idea... It is imperative to discuss with parents or other wedding benefactors who is going to pay for what and how much everyone is willing to contribute, before you commit to expensive choices.

Destin, Florida

My daughter is planning a beach wedding in Destin, Florida next spring. Any neat ideas? We live in Mississippi, the bride lives in New York City and the groom is in the military, so we will be planning this wedding long distance. Since this will be a relatively small wedding, I would like to make it nice.......but we are on a budget. Any suggestions would be nice.

Try going to a major search engine (like Google) and searching on "Destin and FL". This will lead you to local hotels, bed and breakfasts, boat rentals, and other local vendors. Lots of these are directly on the beach and may provide a great wedding/reception location with facilities and people on staff to help you plan the details. If you book far enough in advance, you may be able to take over an entire B&B, depending on the number of people traveling to the wedding and your budget.

You may also want to consider using a wedding coordinator in the Destin area who can be a great help finding and dealing with local resources before any of you arrive. A local coordinator will certainly give you piece of mind and take a lot of the stress out of planning long-distance yourselves.

If the wedding is directly on the beach, consider some of the following:

A beach cookout and swimming in the ocean - guests come prepared and dress casually. You might want to have a tent or large umbrellas available at the beach so those who need to get out of the sun have somewhere to go. Also have lots of water available (to drink). Bring sun screen for guests who may have forgotten theirs. Bring blankets to sit and eat on (also in case the guests don't come prepared). You may need permits to host a party on the beach. Consider port-a-potty rental if you are far away from rest room facilities. Outside weddings are always subject to weather, so you may want to have a plan B in case the weather is nasty.

Delete Tables

How do I delete tables in the Seating Plan of EZWeddingPlanner?

To delete the last table, first be sure Use number in family is selected. Then, if the last table is empty, check Del on the table and Make the Changes. Repeat until all the tables you want gone, are. This instruction is repeated near the bottom of the Seating page.

You can also add more tables if you need them, so don't worry about deleting too many tables.

Delete Plan Items

How do I delete items from the wedding planner list in EZWeddingPlanner?

In EZWeddingPlanner/Plan, click on the item at the left. You will see a delete option when the detail page for that item comes up.

The EZWeddingPlanner Plan is very flexible and can be tailored to your specific wedding needs. You can add your own personal items to your plan and delete the ones that do not apply. You can also just show the items yet to be done. You receive email reminders from your EZWeddingPlanner plan so you never forget all those important details that make your wedding go smoothly.

Deceased Parent

My fiance's biological father is deceased and his mother is remarried, my parents were never married and neither are remarried (I share my fathers last name), we want to include both of our sets of parents on the invitation and don't know how to word it?

Go to Plan/Order Invitations and Announcements in EZWeddingPlanner, click on the light bulb on the right. That has lots of advice and sample wordings. Here are also a few suggestions:

Mary Johnson and John Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susan Nicole Martin to Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Mark Smith and Mr. Mike Anderson (deceased) on date, etc...	Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin together with Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of Mrs. Smith and the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc....
Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson son of the late Mr. Mike Anderson on date, etc...	or a religious version which doesn't list all the parents: Desiring God's will for their lives and believing that includes each other Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents invite you to share their joy as they are united in marriage on date, etc.
Susan Nicole Martin and Craig Joseph Anderson together with their parents Ms. Mary Johnson and Mr. John Martin and Mr. and Mrs. Mark Smith (and the late Mike Anderson) request the honour of your presence at their marriage on....

Dancing

What type of music should be played to facilitate a fun, party-like atmosphere to a wedding with a family who doesn't normally dance?

If many of the guests have a certain ethnic background, perhaps some music typical of that country would break the ice. Also, slower dances may tend to entice some of the older couples to dance (unless they are used to Polkas, etc.). If you have a DJ or Master of Ceremonies, they can work the guests and invite them to dance. Familiar songs may also do the trick. A DJ will have suggestions.

You may also get the help of the people in your wedding party. Ask them to mix-it up a bit and ask various guests to dance with them. This also applies to the bride/groom. Very few people will refuse to dance with the bride/groom if asked. And, once there are several couples on the dance floor, some of those people who may be shy to dance, may then join in.

Invite Co-workers

Is it appropriate to invite co-workers and boss's from work to your wedding?

If you are also friends with them and have social contact beyond your office contact, you can certainly invite them to your wedding. But they should not be just casual acquaintances, which would probably cover most of your co-workers. Inviting them or not may also depend on the size of your guest list and your budget. Typically, business associates and coworkers can be the first to drop off your list, if you need to cut it down a bit. You could send them wedding announcements after the fact, which can also include your name preference (changing or keeping your maiden name, etc.) and new address, etc. If you have many co-workers who you feel close to, but did not invite to the wedding, you could have a casual postwedding party or after-work affair when you return from your honeymoon.

If you work in a very small company and there are a very few employees, you may consider inviting them because this is generally a much more intimate group than that of a larger company. It also depends on the size of your budget, any limitations on reception seating, etc.

How to Count Children's Food

I'm planning our weddding by myself, so of course I have many questions. One very simple question is regarding children. Our reception dinner will be simple and accurate. My question is, should children be counted as an adult plate, or are we supposed to count 2 children as 1 adult? We don't want to be short food, but since our budget is tight, we don't want mounds of the food left over either, any ideas. A lot of children are going to be attending, enough so that they will make a significant difference.

This question really should be put to whoever is preparing/serving your reception meal. Some count by plate, regardless of who's eating from it. Some may have children's portions which they would charge less for. And if it's a buffet rather than a sit-down service, there may be different charges for children vs adults. The charging scheme varies with location. If you are preparing the food vs a hotel chef for instance, then your thought is probably close - to count two children as one adult for amount. It's also probably a good bet that elderly people will eat much less than younger (teens & 20's age) people, so quantity eaten will vary by the type of guests you are inviting.

Pre-marital Counseling

We are going to get married in Texas but live in Maryland. Could you help us find someone who performs pre-marital counseling?

Generally the pre-marital counseling is associated with marriages held in a church or synagogue. The requirements differ with religions and churches. Our best suggestion is to contact the officiant who will perform your marriage and discuss pre-marital counseling and/or if you regularly go to a church where you live, discuss this with your clergyperson. If you do not regularly attend anywhere, contact a local church/synagogue of the same faith as where you will be married. If this is a requirement prior to your marriage, you can probably do it in Maryland. If you aren't getting married in a religious setting, then pre-marital counseling is not a requirement before your wedding, although it may be a good idea.

Wedding Coordinator

I notice that hiring a wedding consultant is at the top of the list. What exactly do they do? Do they help with decorations etc.? If you opt not to have a consultant or coordinator, do you then make all your own arrangements as far as finding a caterer, florist, band, decorator etc. Is the florist usually the decorator for the entire party and ceremony or is there a separate person to decorate and do the flower arrangements, corsages, bouquets etc.

Wedding coordinators usually have a variety of packages that you can pay for - some include the whole thing, from finding vendors and negotiating contracts, to spending the whole wedding day with you making sure everything goes as planned and actually doing the detail work. You don't have to have a coordinator. They work especially well for weddings in other locations from where the bride lives, brides with very busy work schedules, or for very large, elaborate weddings.

Yes, without one, you (or parents, etc.) do all the arrangements, find vendors, decide on decorations, etc.... Do it ALL. See the Advice section in EZWeddingPlanner for lots of ideas on what you need and how to do it (including contracts with vendors).

Florists usually will just deliver the flowers where you want them (perhaps several different locations), but don't always decorate or stay longer than just dropping off the flowers. Some may place altar flowers, aisle flowers, candle flowers, etc. in the correct place at the ceremony site. They may decorate your cake with flowers if it has already been delivered to the reception site before the florist gets there. It probably all depends on how much you want to pay them and for what services. Tell them what you want and ask what they will do and for what cost.

Some reception sites will decorate for you if you provide the decorations - some won't. Some provide table centerpieces free as part of the package deal and will set them up too. You will have to check on what's included when you book the site. There are also companies that you can hire to decorate the reception site - which can get very elaborate if you like - chair covers, ceiling/wall/window decorations, plants, theme stuff, etc.

Usually, the corsages, etc. are delivered to the ceremony site (by the florist) and then you have someone designated as the person to pin them on the correct people. The florist won't stay around for the wedding and do this.

Contracts

CONTRACTS

Be a Wise Consumer

• Pay with a credit card (deposits too). That way if you are unhappy with the service or have problems that aren't resolved, you may have some recourse with the credit card company.
• Don't forget to ask for references and check them out. You can also check with the Better Business Bureau in your local area prior to booking a vendor, to see if there have been any complaints and if so, how they were handled.
• Get all the details written out - don't leave anything to memory and oral agreements, so there won't be any misunderstandings later as to what was supposed to be done.
• Don't be pressured to sign immediately. Take time to review it and have someone else look at it also. Ask questions if there are details you don't like or understand. All contracts can be negotiated and changed; there are not absolutes.
• Be sure the merchant also signs the contract and agrees to its terms.
• If you are incurring large expenses, you may want to consider wedding postponement/cancellation insurance to cover your investments in deposits, etc., in case of medical emergencies, acts of God, etc. that could cause your wedding not to happen or to be interrupted.

In all contracts, you want the following:

• The total cost and any payment arrangements, including deposits and final payment terms.
• In most cases, you shouldn't be asked to put down more than 50% of the total price before services are completed. The less you pay up front, the less you could lose if you have problems.
• The refund or cancellation policy and agreement on how things will be adjusted if there are mistakes. For instance, if you cancel months in advance, you shouldn't be responsible for the bulk of the cost, since the vendor can re-book your date easily.
• What, if any, overtime costs are there (depending on the service).
• What, if any, gratuities are normal, expected or automatically added to your bill.
• The person responsible for delivery, setup or performance of agreed services (and backup person) and phone numbers.
• See below for more vendor specific details.

Attire

• Include a cancellation clause for return of your deposit if the clothing does not arrive on the desired date or in good condition.
• Choose a delivery date several weeks before the wedding to allow for alterations. Men's clothing may not be available until just before the wedding, as most of this is rental. Be sure there is ample time built-in for these to be fitted properly.
• Specify any alterations that may be included in the price paid, or what exactly the extra alteration charges are and what they cover (for instance, so much per added buttons, hemming, sleeve and waist alterations, any added trimming or details, etc.)
• What is included in rental packages for men's clothing?
• What are the fitting, alteration and final pickup dates and times?
• Will the clothes be pressed and ready to wear on final pickup?
• What are the cleaning requirements (especially for rental) and what is included in the cost?
• What happens if rental clothing is damaged?
• When does the rental attire need to be returned and are there extra charges if there is a delay in return. Be sure whoever returns the clothing gets a receipt of return and any deposits back.
• See Bridal Attire for more suggestions and details.

Flowers

• The date and time of deliveries and the sites: probably your home for bouquets, ceremony site for corsages, boutonnieres and altar/candle holder decorations, the reception site for table arrangements and cake flowers, etc.
• The amount and color of each type of flower ordered (bouquets, corsages, boutonnieres, etc.)
• What substitutes you will accept if your first choices aren't available. And what you don't want (like no daisies or nothing red, etc.)
• The number and sizes of altar and other ceremony arrangements, like pew markers or candle holder decorations and also table or other reception arrangements, like head table, cake table, punch table, etc.
• The condition you expect the flowers to be in (fresh, not wilted or silk, etc.)
• The style, colors and number of accessories like ribbons, vases, etc.
• What, if anything, needs to be returned or picked up, and by whom. Be clear on any deposits and timing for items needing to be returned.
• See Flowers for more suggestions and details.

Music

• See ceremony music for specific considerations on organist, soloists, etc.
• See reception music for specific considerations on bands or DJs.

Photography/Videography

• Specify the name of the photographer and/or videographer you want. Some studios employ numbers of photographers and the samples you liked may have been taken by another photographer than would be assigned to your wedding. Can you get a discounted price if there is a switch for some reason and what is the name of the backup photographer/videographer?
• Will there be any assistants helping the photographer/videographer?
• Specify the attire of the photographer and videographer and assistants (tux or suits, etc.).
• Specify that you owe no money if the photos/video are ruined, lost, or do not turn out correctly (including deposits).
• What backup equipment will be on site, in case of equipment failure.
• What exactly is included in package deals, like hours at the ceremony and reception, who owns the negatives, are there any free pics, like engagement, etc.
• Specify what and how many locations photos/videos will be taken at (bride's house, church, second location, reception site, etc.) What are the arrival and departure times for each.
• How many rolls of film will be shot and how many proofs are provided and in what time frame after the wedding. For videography, how many tapes will be shot and how many cameras will be used.
• What happens to proofs that may not be given to you and can you buy them (or are all included).
• Can the photographer/videographer use your photos and/or video as samples and advertising?
• Are one or more wedding albums included in the price (yours and/or family)?
• What is the time frame for you and your guests to order photos/videos at a discounted rate. What are the costs of reprints or extra tapes during this time and also after this time.
• What are the extra charges for custom detailing on photos and can the photographer do them (like superimposed images, oil-painting-like pictures, very large framed photos, etc.)?
• Is the video edited or unedited? What editing techniques may be included in video (music, credits, etc.) and if not included, what is the extra charge to add them?
• When will the final photos/videos be delivered?
• Are there rules or restrictions on other people (your family and guests) taking pictures at the wedding?
• If the photographer/videographer stays for most of the reception, does he/she expect to be fed?
• See Photography/Videography for more details and suggestions.

Catering

• See Worksheet for details and checklist on what to ask.
• See Interview for ideas on choosing a caterer you like.

Contracts

Do you have a planner to mail out for documentation of flowers, hall, cake, etc...

Look at the Advice section (top menu bar in EZWeddingPlanner) especially the contracts topic.

It is important that you have written contracts with your major wedding vendors. Also, contingencies in writing in case there are problems.

Computer Labels

I am doing my own invitations on my home computer. Is it ok to print the address on the envelopes using my computer or should I hand write them?

Invitations should be addressed by hand. While this certainly takes longer than computer generated addresses, it is the correct etiquette thing to do. If you don't want to or have the time to address them yourself, you could print a list of how they should be addressed and give that to a calligrapher or someone with neat handwriting. Or see: Import People

That said, it is becoming more common for couples to use computer labels to address invitations. While I do not agree with this practice for wedding invitations, I do see it happening more often.

August Colors

I am trying to coordinate my colors for my wedding around the colors of flowers that blossom in the month of August, but I am finding it very difficult to do so. Is there any way you can help me to find out what colors?

Check out the flowers article in our Plan/Great Ideas section for lists of flowers that bloom in Summer and Autumn and year round. A florist will also be able to tell you what colors are seasonal in August and should be able to show you pictures for ideas.

Also, if you have selected a photographer, he/she is a good source of pictures of previous weddings in August, which may give you some flower ideas of what other brides have selected.

Wedding Colors

We are having a hard time trying to pick colors for the wedding. We are thinking of maybe black and burgundy. Is there a place that has an array of colors we can look at to get a better idea?

Bridal shops may be a good place to start, by looking at racks of bridesmaid's dresses, you get a good feel for all the various colors. You might want to check out the color of carpets at the venues to be sure you don't clash (may be important on pictures).

There are also many online sites that have an array of bridesmaids dresses, florists with many flower examples, and even photographer sites that have many examples of the weddings they have photographed. These can all give you good ideas for what you like (and don't like).

Prep Classes

I was wondering about marriage prep classes. We are having a non-denominational wedding in a historical heritage church that has been restored. It didn't come with an officiary, but we don't want a justice of the peace. Everyone that I have gotten a hold of says that we need marriage prep classes, but we live out of the town in which we are getting married. Do we have to take these classes in order for them to marry us?

It's really up to the officiant if he/she will marry you without the classes. Many require them before they will perform a service, however I expect you will be able to find someone who would do it without the classes. As a compromise, see if one meeting before the wedding day (perhaps the day before) will suffice. You will probably be in town by then and could spare an hour or two. It would also help you get familiar with the officiant and any special church service requirements before the wedding service. Perhaps explaining the distance problem will help. You could also consider a university chaplain or military chaplain who can perform weddings and may have looser requirements.

Change Wedding Date

How do I change the wedding date shown in EZWeddingPlanner?

Wedding dates may be changed under Options. This will reorganize the plan dates around the new wedding date.

Change date questions are the number one asked question by EZWeddingPlanner Brides. Wedding dates can change because of booking problems, family problems, scheduling problems, or many other reasons.

Plan Item Done

How do I check off an item in the EZWeddingPlanner plan that I have already done?

 Towards the top is a "Display done ..." yes/no - check yes and then press Do It. What happens when you say "no" to Display done is that items checked at the left just disappear. This way only the items yet to be completed will show on your screen. To see all items (including the ones you've done checked in red), click "yes" and then Do It.

The EZWeddingPlanner Plan is one of your best resources to help you stay on track and not forget any of those little or critical details in your wedding. You can add your own items that are specific to your wedding - people to call, things to buy, things you don't want to forget, and then you will receive email reminders of those items as they come due. You can also delete any plan items that do not pertain to your wedding, so feel free to really tailor your EZWeddingPlanner plan to your wedding.

Chicago Wedding

Do you happen to know anything about planning a very small wedding by the lake in Chicago?

Here are some suggestions: Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park is very pretty with a concrete plaza. Oak Street Beach - anywhere around there, including a restaurant like the Oak Street Beach Bistro (open seasonally). The Shed aquarium or thereabouts. Or the North Avenue Beach boathouse which is shaped like a ship. You could check with the Chicago Park District for details on areas around the lake. Also, there are botanical gardens in the northern suburbs that are very beautiful. Or the Lincoln Park conservatory (not quite on the water, but very nice). If you want to get married on the water, try the Spirit of Chicago which also has a show and dancing (312-836-7888) or for top of the line, Odyssey Cruise (312-321-7620).

Change Budget

How do I change the budget amount in EZWeddingPlanner?

In the budget section, enter the amount in each box you want to change. Be sure to click update before you leave the screen. Then the totals will be updated. Or, you can click on the item name on the left and get a new screen that you can edit.

The budget section is a powerful tool that lets you keep track of your total wedding expenses, who pays for which expense, how much has already been paid (deposit) and what is left to be paid. This helps keep you on track and on budget.

Ceremony Sample Lutheran

Sample - Christian Worship, A Lutheran Hymnal - WELS

Marriage Ceremony: Christian Worship, A Lutheran Hymnal - Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod

This order of worship celebrates God's gracious gift of marriage. The congregation shares the joy of the bride and groom as they publicly promise lifelong love and faithfulness to each other.

Call to Worship

M: In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Our Lord Jesus Christ came as an invited guest to the wedding at Cana, and with his gracious presence, he brought joy and gladness to those who were there. Jesus is also with us who have gathered in his name to celebrate the Word of God and prayer the marriage of Name and Name. We are assured of God's gracious help and guidance in these words from the Psalms:

M: Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.

C: His love endures forever.

M: The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and rich in love;

C: He is good to all.

M: God is our refuge and strength,

C: An ever-present help in trouble.

M: He is our God forever and ever;

C: He will be our guide even to the end.

M: May God be gracious to us and bless us

C: and make his face shine on us.

M: Loving Father, we are grateful for your goodness in permitting us to gather as the family and friends of Name and Name to share their joy on this special day. Look on them with favor, strengthen their confidence in your firm promises, and assure them of your abiding love. As your Son Jesus graced the wedding at Cana with his presence, so may he be with us who pray in his name.

C: Amen.

Congregational hymns or other music appropriate for worship may be sung here or at other places in the service.

Word of God

LESSONS

SERMON

Marriage Rite

M: Dear friends: When God in love created the world, he made man and woman in his own image and bonded them together in marriage. Through this blessed union of husband and wife, God established the family, provided for the physical and spiritual welfare of children, and fostered the peace and stability of society.

God intended marriage to bring loving companionship to the people of his world. But because of sin, the joy of marriage was soon overcast with sorrow, and the harmony of family life was shattered by strife. Out of love God sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross to take away the sins of all people. Everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness and is enabled by the Holy Spirit to live in peace and joy.

God's love for you is boundless. He commands you, in response to his love, to love each other. Love is forgiving and enduring. Love shows itself in truth and faithfulness, in thoughtfulness and understanding, in patience and kindness. Marriage furnishes a unique opportunity to put this love into practice.

The pattern for Christian marriage is the intimate union of Christ and his church, which the apostle Paul depicts in Ephesians 5. After urging believers to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ," he makes this application for Christian spouses: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." It is reverence for Christ on the part of husband and wife that lays the foundation for Christian marriage.

You have come here to be united in marriage, which consists in your mutual consent, sincerely and freely given. You are now invited to declare this intent in the presence of God and these witnesses.

Marriage Promises

M: (to the groom): Name, will you take Name to be your wife? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and love your wife as Christ loved the Church? Will you be faithful to her, cherish her, support her, and help her in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."

G: I will.

M: (to the bride): Name, will you take Name to be your husband? Will you be guided by the counsel and direction God has given in his Word and submit to your husband as the Church submits to Christ? Will you be faithful to him, cherish him, support him, and help him in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? If so, answer, "I will."

B: I will.

M: Join your right hands, and make your promises to each other:

The groom and bride will say in turn:

I, Name, in the presence of God and these witnesses, take you, Name, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.

Exchange of Rings

M: Exchange rings as a symbol of the lifelong commitment and abiding love which you as husband and wife have promised each other.

The groom and bride will say in turn:

Name, receive this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness.

Declaration of Marriage

M: By their promises, Name and Name have bound themselves together in marriage before God and these witnesses. Therefore, I declare that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.

Marriage Blessing

M: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit preserve you in faithfulness, strengthen you in love, and guide you to life's end.

HYMN

The following hymn or another hymn may be sung.

Now thank we all our God With hearts and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done, In whom his world rejoices,
Who from our mother's arms Has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love And still is ours today.

Oh, may this bounteous God Through all our life be near us,
With ever-joyful hearts And blessed peace to cheer us
And keep us in his grace And guide us when perplexed
And free us from all ills In this world and the next!

Prayers

other prayers may be said

M: Let us pray:

Eternal God, source of love, help Name and Name to fulfill the promises they have made here today and to reflect your steadfast love in their love for each other. Give them kindness and patience, affection and understanding, happiness and contentment. Use their family and friends to support them in difficult days, that their love for each other may continue to grow as long as they live.

Gracious Father, in your goodness you bring people together into families and enrich their lives with abundant blessings. Renew the love of husbands and wives, parents and children, that they may strengthen and support each other on the way that leads to our heavenly home, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

C: Amen.

Lord's Prayer

Our Father in heaven,	Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be your name,	hallowed be thy name,
your kingdom come,	thy kingdom come,
your will be done,	thy will be done,
on earth as in heaven.	on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.	Give us this day our daily bread;
Forgive us our sins	and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those	as we forgive those
who sin against us.	who trespass against us;
Lead us not into temptation,	and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.	but deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,	For thine is the kingdom,
and the glory are yours,	and the power, and the glory,
now and forever. Amen	forever and ever. Amen

Blessing

M: The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you.
The Lord look on you with favor and give you peace.

C. Amen

Ceremony Readings

CEREMONY READINGS

Readings can add special meaning and personality to your wedding. First check with your officiant to see if there are restrictions on the types of readings that can be used. The officiant may also have suggestions or resources for sample readings. If using Bible verses, you may want to read several versions to find one with a translation you like. Or, you may want to write your own to expess your feelings for each other. Here are some verses that are often read at weddings:

The Bible (Revised Standard Version) - 1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

The Bible - Ruth 1:16-17

But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. "Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me."

RECOMMENDED BOOKS ABOUT CEREMONY READINGS  Wedding Readings: Centuries of Writing and Rituals on Love and Marriage   A World of Ways to Say "I Do": Unique Vows, Readings, and Poems to Make Your Wedding Day Your Own   Perfect Readings for Weddings: All You Need to Make Your Special Day Perfect   Wedding Readings, Poems and Vows   Poems and Readings for Weddings and Civil Partnerships

The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Robert Lewis Stevenson

Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Amen

Elizabeth Barrett Browning How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life! And, if God choose, I shall love thee better after death.

Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee:
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the Earth dost hold.

My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persever,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

Voltaire

Sensual pleasure passes and vanishes in the twinkling of an eye,
but the friendship between us, the mutual confidence, the delights of the heart,
the enchantment of the soul, these things do not perish and can never be destroyed.
I shall love you until I die.

T. S. Eliot

To whom I owe the leaping delight
That quickens my senses in our wakingtime
And the rhythm that governs the repose of our sleepingtime,
The breathing in unison
Of lovers whose bodies smell of each other
Who think the same thoughts without need of speech
And babble the same speech without need of meaning.
No peevish winter wind shall chill
No sullen tropic sun shall wither
The roses in the rose-garden which is ours and ours only
But this dedication is for others to read:
These are private words addressed to you in public.

An Apache Blessing By Anonymous

Now you will feel no nun,
for each of you will be a shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
for each of you will be a comfort to the other.
Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

From The I Ching

When two people are at one in their inmost hearts
They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze;
And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts
Their words are sweet and strong like the fragrance of orchids.

George Eliot

What greater thing is there for two human souls,
than to feel they are joined for life
to strengthen each other in all labour,
to rest on each other in all sorrow,
to minister to each other in all pain,
to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

Edwin Muir

Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face,
I in my mind had waited for this long,
Seeing the false and searching for the true,
Then found you as a traveller finds a place
Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong
Valleys and rocks and twisting roads. But you,
What shall I call you? A fountain in a waste,
A well of water in a country dry,
Or anything that's honest and good, an eye
That makes the whole world bright. Your open heart,
Simple with giving, gives the primal deed,
The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed, T
he hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea.
Not beautiful or rare in every part.
But like yourself, as they were meant to be.

JB O'Reilly

The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.
But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips

An Irish Wedding Blessing

You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company

Scottish Wedding Prayer

Lord help us to remember when we first met and the strong love that grew between us.
To work that love into practical things so that nothing can divide us.
We ask for words both kind and loving and hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as to forgive.
Dear Lord, we put our marriage into your hands. Amen

"Gift From The Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.