Two Weddings a Month Apart

My fiancé and I announced our wedding in January. My sister (who is the maid of honor) was upset I was getting married before her. Now she has announced her and her new boyfriend (who I don't really know) are getting married by a justice of the peace a month before me. What is the proper thing to do regarding bridal showers and a wedding gift. Right now all of my money is going to my own wedding, as well as all my time. What do I do in this situation?

Short answer, wish her well and do your best to mean it. Even though you don't know her fiancé now, he will also become part of your family soon and you will probably see him often. Given that, you continue to plan your wedding as you wanted it (and let her plan her own wedding, as she's the one who chose the close dates knowing your plans already). You could also sit down and talk with her about this and see if she is flexible on her date.

Since she is your maid of honor, I assume you are fairly close and that she would be the one, along with your other bridesmaids to host a shower for you. (and if you are going to be in her small wedding, you would also host one for her). This poses a bit of a problem for the shower guests, since many of them would want to buy gifts for both of you. You could have two showers about a month apart, or combine the showers and just have one large shower (hosted by your other bridesmaids or family friends of both of you). Or, you can simply plan your own wedding/showers, etc. and not worry about what she is going to do. Realistically, since she is your sister, you will be involved with her shower and vice versa, regardless of timing of the weddings.

Or, since shower guests are generally also invited to the wedding, and your sister is probably not going to invite many people to her wedding, she may not have a formal shower prior to her marriage. But probably your relatives who would be coming to your shower would also feel obliged to buy her a present also. Is she planning any type of reception after the wedding? This may be the place where her friends and relatives will give her gifts.

If you start saving now, you can probably come up with some money for a small wedding present for her also (even though you are paying for your own). It may not be as much as you would have spent for her if she had picked another date, but she will have to live with those consequences.