Friday, August 3, 2012

Wording Etiquette for Invitations

WEDDING INVITATIONS

As soon as a date is set and guest lists are complete, select and order the invitations. Allow at least three months before the wedding so there will be plenty of time for addressing, mailing, and responses.

Invitations can be ordered from EZWeddingPlanner's online store or from jewelers, stationery stores, department stores, specialty shops, or advertisements in magazines. All have consultants and/or samples to help in the selection of paper stock, color, design, and lettering style. Invitations can be engraved, or thermographed. Thermography is a process that resembles engraving, but is less expensive and more readily available.

When the order is placed, ask about getting the outer and inner envelopes ahead of time so that they can be addressed and ready to mail when the invitations arrive. There may be a small extra charge for this. Wedding invitations are to be mailed four to six weeks prior to the wedding date. They should all be mailed at the same time. Check with the local post office for the amount of postage needed to mail the wedding invitations as postage may vary, depending on number of enclosures.

If the invitations contain several enclosures, the proper order of placement is as follows: The non-gummed envelope contains the invitation along with the other enclosures and is placed in the outer envelope so it faces the flap. Tissue paper is placed over the engraving or printing to ensure against smudging. Or, if you prefer, the tissue paper can be discarded and not used. Response cards are tucked inside the invitation and, if needed, include a map. Be sure it is a clear reproduction on good quality paper. This also belongs inside the invitation with the other enclosures. Gold stickers/seals can be placed on the back flap of the outside envelope and sometimes contain the return address, but it is more commonly printed.

Invitations are usually issued by the parents of the bride, or by the surviving parent, or if the bride is an orphan, by the nearest of kin. The accepted order of kinship is as follows: Elder brother; Elder sister; Both grandparents, or one surviving; Uncle and/or Aunt; Guardian; Bride and groom issue invitations themselves; Groom's family.

You will want to create a guest list. Using EZ Wedding Planner makes this a simple task. Begin to fill it in as you plan, gathering addresses as you go The list is equally divided between bride and groom. You can be sure that about 30% will not attend, 50% or more if out-of-town guests. The bottom line on who to invite depends on the budget.

To figure out how many invitations to order, consider your guest list. Count one invitation per couple, one each for single guests, and one for children over age 18 in a family. Then add a dozen for mementos and 25-50 extra envelopes for mistakes (depending on your total guest count).

Addressing Envelopes

Envelopes should be handwritten in black ink - never typed. Do not abbreviate name or addresses. Either have the return address printed or hand write them when addressing the envelopes. If a response card is included, be sure it is stamped and pre-addressed.

Write out all streets, cities and states, don't abbreviate. Be sure to use zip codes. The only abbreviations that are ok to use are Mr., Mrs., Ms., Jr., Dr., and Esq. (for an attorney). It is also proper to write out formal titles, like Doctor, Captain or Reverend.

Guests full names are written on the outer envelope (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Martin Andrew Johnson). The outer envelope is sealed and stamped. Children are not listed in the address on the outer envelope, not is "and family".

The inner envelope is left unsealed and addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Johnson," without first names or addresses. Children under eighteen may be included by writing their first names in a line below their parents' on the inner envelope. Older children in the family should receive their own invitation, whether or not he or she is currently living with his or her parents.

If one of your guests will bring a friend and you do not know their name, then for a single person, include the name "and guest" on the inside envelope. Or, if you know the guest he or she intends to bring, a separate invitation should be sent. When two people live together, send one invitation addressed to both.

When a married woman keeps her maiden name, address her as "Miss" or "Ms." Her name can appear first, or the names can appear in alphabetical order. "Mrs." is only used when the married woman takes her husband's last name. If the woman has hyphenated her last name, which is different from her husband, then it would be Mr. Martin Johnson and Ms. Mary Trainer-Johnson.

A woman who is separated from her husband can be addressed as Ms. Mary Johnson. If she is divorced, she can be addressed the same, or with a combination of maiden and married surnames, like Mrs. Trainer Johnson. If she has reverted to her maiden name, then it's Ms. Mary Trainer. A widow is addressed on an envelope as Mrs. Martin Johnson. If the woman's own first name is used in any form, 'Ms.' is the title to choose: "Ms. Mary Johnson." There is usually no such thing as "Mrs. Mary Johnson" except in the case of a woman who is married to another woman.

Wording Etiquette for Invitations

TITLES - Reverend, Doctor, Captain, etc., are not abbreviated unless lack of space necessitates it.

SUFFIXES - Jr., Junior, II, III, IV, are all properly preceded by a comma. Jr. is capitalized when abbreviated, junior is not capitalized when spelled in full. Roman numerals are properly preceded by a comma.

Wording Etiquette for Gay, Lesbian or Bi-Sexual Invitations

Gay and lesbian weddings, civil unions and commitment ceremonies are becoming more commonplace; however, the semantics of the invitation can be a point of uncertainty for many couples. As a general rule, following standard wedding etiquette will suffice.

If you decide not to hold your ceremony in a place of worship, the wording will vary. The line "request the honor of your company" changes to "request the pleasure of your company." The "honor of your company" is usually reserved for houses of worship, whereas the "pleasure of your company" can be used for any location. See some examples below.

If Invitations Are Issued By Bride's Parents: Standard Form

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne
to
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at two o'clock in the afternoon
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Wedding Mass/Wedding Service

Mr. and Mrs Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne
to
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at an eleven o'clock Wedding Mass
Saint John's Catholic Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the Wedding Mass (Service)
at which their daughter
Susan Anne
and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
will be united in the
Sacrament of Marriage
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at ten o'clock
Saint John's Catholic Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

If Mother Or Father Are Deceased - Living Parent Not Remarried

Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter Susan Anne

If Living Parent Has Remarried

Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of Mrs. Carson's daughter
Susan Anne

OR

Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Anne

OR

Mr. and Mrs. John L. Carson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne

If Mother And Father Are Deceased - Invitations Issued By Unmarried Older Brother Or Sister.

Mr. John L. Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his sister
Susan Anne

If Invitations Are Issued By Married Older Brother Or Sister

Mr. and Mrs. Frank P. Egers
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her sister
Susan Anne Johnson

If Invitations Are Issued By Grandmother Or Uncle And Aunt

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew K. Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their granddaughter
Susan Anne Johnson

If Couple Issue Their Own Invitations

The honour of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Miss Susan Anne Johnson
and Mr. Mark Robert Nelson

OR

Miss Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

OR

Together with their parents
Miss Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
invite you to share with them
a celebration of love.
The ceremony will be...

OR

Michael Thompson
and
Samuel Johnson
invite you to share in
the joy of their commitment
to one another
date/time...
place...

OR

Mary Thompson
and
Sandy Johnson
Please join us as we celebrate
the love we share with
our family
our friends
and
each other
date/time...
place...

If Invitations Are Issued By A Friend

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Andrew Carlson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson

Mother Divorced - If Not Remarried She May Use A Combination Of Her Maiden Name And Married Name (This Is Regarded As An Individual Decision.)

Mrs. Meyer Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Anne

Mother Remarried

Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

OR

Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

OR

Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of Mrs. Douglas' daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

Mother Remarried but Issues Invitation with Your Father who is Not Remarried

Mrs. And Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
Mr. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

Father, Not Remarried, Issues Invitation
(You lived with your father and had little or no contact with your mother)

Mr. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Susan Anne

Father and Stepmother Issue Invitation
(You lived with your father and stepmother and had little or no contact with your mother)

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his (or their) daughter
Susan Anne

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of Mr. Johnson's daughter
Susan Anne

Father Remarried, Mother Not Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations

Ms. Carol Johnson Meyer
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne

Mother and Father Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations

Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
Mr. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

Mother and Father Remarried Jointly Issue Invitations With Stepparents

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

If Groom's Parents Issue Invitations

Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Susan Anne Johnson
to their son
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson

If Bride and Groom's Parents Issue Invitations
(In this case all have been divorced and remarried)

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
Mr. and Mrs. Martin John Smith
Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson

Stepmother Issue Invitations
(If both parents are deceased)

Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her stepdaughter
Susan Anne
to
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson

Second Marriages - Young Divorcee Uses Combination Of Maiden And Married Names

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Johnson Nelson

OR
You have dropped ex-husband's name use your first, middle and maiden names

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne Johnson

Young Widow Uses Married Name

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne Nelson

Adult Children of the Bride Issue Invitation

Susan Anne Johnson
Andrew Matthew Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their mother
Anne Jean Johnson
to
Thomas K. Douglas

Adult Children of Both the Bride and Groom Issue Invitation

Ms. Susan Anne Johnson
Mr. Andrew Matthew Johnson
Mr. and Mrs. James Earl Douglas
Ms. Sarah Anderson Douglas
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their mother
Anne Jean Johnson
to
Thomas K. Douglas

Double Weddings - When Brides Are Sisters The Older Sister Is Mentioned First

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Susan Anne
to
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
and Mary Lou
to Mr. Richard David Smith

When The Brides Are Not Sisters The Older Bride And Her Family Are Mentioned First

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
and
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Saul Erickson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Susan Anne Johnson
to
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
and
Mary Ann Erickson
to
Mr. Marc Keith Paulson

RECEPTION INVITATIONS
The Phrase "Request The Pleasure Of Your Company" Is Used Here And On Invitations To Other Social Functions.

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception for their daughter
Susan Anne
and
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at eight o'clock in the evening
8728 Pinehurst Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR
If Sponsors of the Ceremony Same as Hosts for Reception

Dinner Reception
immediately following the ceremony
8728 Pinehurst Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota
 
R.S.V.P.
21 Arthur Lane Hopkins MN, 55343

OR
If Sponsors of the Ceremony and Reception Hosts are Different
(In This Case Father and Stepmother Host Reception)

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage reception of his daughter
Susan Anne
and
Mark Robert Nelson
immediately following the ceremony
8728 Pinehurst Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota
 
Reply card enclosed

OR
All Combinations of Parents Host Reception

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas K. Douglas
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
Mr. and Mrs. Roger Albert Nelson
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage reception of
Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson
immediately following the ceremony
8728 Pinehurst Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota

MILITARY WEDDINGS - Officers Above The Rank Of Lieutenant Have Title Preceding Name.

Major and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne
to
Captain Mark Robert Nelson
United States Army

Junior Officers Have Title Placed In Next Line Preceding Branch Of Service

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne
to Mark Robert Nelson
First Lieutenant, United States Army

Rank Below Sergeant Is Not Indicated, Branch Of Service Is Placed Below Name

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Susan Anne
to
Mark Robert Nelson
United States Army

CONTEMPORARY WORDING

A life of sharing, caring
A love of endless giving together
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at seven-thirty o'clock
when their daughter
Susan Anne
and
Mark Robert Nelson
become united through marriage
at First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

In the spirit of Christian joy
Susan Anne Johnson
and Mark Robert Nelson
will vow their lives to one another forever
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at seven o'clock in the evening
Their families invite you to join them
in asking God's blessing upon this holy union
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

A fresh new day…and it is our
a day of happy beginnings
when we, Susan Anne Johnson
and Mark Robert Nelson
pledge our lives as one
on Saturday, June fifth
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at seven o'clock
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson
invite you to share
a day of happiness
as they begin a life of love
on Saturday, June fifth
at four o'clock
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

Believing that Holy Matrimony is ordained by God
and in the spirit of Christian joy
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
request the honour of your presence
at the ceremony in which their daughter
Susan Anne Johnson
and Mark Robert Nelson
will vow their lives to one another
and become united as one in Christ
Saturday, June fifth
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at one o'clock
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota

OR

The most joyous of occasions
is the union of man and woman
in the celebration of life…
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
invite you to share in the ceremony
uniting their daughter

OR

Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson
invite you to share in the joy
when they exchange marriage vows
and begin their new life together

OR

Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson
have chosen the first day
of their new lives together

OR

Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Francis Nelson
invite you to share in the joy of
the marriage uniting their children
Susan Anne
and
Mark Robert
This celebration of love will be

OR

Because you have shared in their lives
by your friendship and love
you are invited to share with
our daughter Susan Anne
and Mark Robert Nelson
when they exchange marriage vows
and begin their new life together
on Saturday, June fifth
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at six o'clock
First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson

OR

Susan Anne Johnson
and
Mark Robert Nelson
together with their parents
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson
and
Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Francis Nelson
invite you to share in their joy
when they exchange marriage vows
and begin their new life together

OR

Our joy will be more complete
if you can share in the marriage
of our daughter, Susan Anne
to Mark Robert Nelson
on Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at seven o'clock in the evening
at First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota
We invite you
to worship with us and witness their vows
If you are unable to attend
we ask your presence in thought and prayer
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson

OR

With joyful hearts
we ask you to be present
at the ceremony uniting our daughter
Susan Anne
and
Mr. Mark Robert Nelson
Saturday, the fifth of June
Nineteen hundred and ninety-nine
at four o'clock
at First Lutheran Church
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson

OR

Our daughter, Susan Anne, and Mark Robert Nelson will be united in Christ on Saturday, the fifth of June, nineteen hundred and ninety-nine at one-thirty o'clock in the afternoon at the First Lutheran Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

You are invited to join in worship, witness their vows, and celebrate their union at a reception following the ceremony in the Church Parlors.

If you are unable to attend, we ask your presence in thought and prayer.


Mr. and Mrs. Philip Paul Johnson

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