Engagement Party

When Held

You can have an engagement party as soon as you become engaged. Some people time it for just before or just after a newspaper announcement of the engagement. I have found one source that said no farther out than one year and no closer to the wedding than six months. Obviously this is not firm, since some people get engaged and married within a six month time frame. Also, some people have 2 years or more of engagement before the actual wedding. The engagement party is really for both families to get together and get to know each other better. So, the earlier the better, especially if wedding finances need to be discussed and agreed on by both families.

Who Hosts

The groom's parents can call the bride's parents and express their happiness about the upcoming marriage. Engagement parties can be hosted by the groom's or bride's parents (it can be anything from a buffet, barbecue, or cocktail party, to a formal party) This is an opportunity for the two families to get to know each other and to introduce you to their family and friends. In fact, an engagement party can be hosted by any family member - or even a friend - who would like to have this party for you. If neither family steps forward with an engagement party, the two of you can invite the parents out for a luncheon or some other get together for them to meet. Generally, both sets of parents attend the engagement party, whoever hosts it.

Invitations

Invitations, if sent, can be worded like: Please join us for ______(brunch, cocktails, back-yard barbecue, etc.) in honor of Mark and Susan (or Mark Larsen and Susan Katz). Invitations can be issued formally, handwritten, or telephoned. Some people prefer to have a party under some other pretense, like a cocktail party, and then "spring" the engagement on the guests as a surprise. Doing it the surprise way makes the announcement without the expectation of gifts from the guests, although some may send a gift after-the-fact. Generally, guests invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. The only exception is if the wedding is a very small and private affair.

Where Held

Generally engagement parties are held at the home of one set of parents or some other relative's house, depending on circumstances. It can also be held at a restaurant or other social setting. If parents are geographically separated, several engagement parties may be held in different locations, depending on travel schedules of the bride and groom and/or other family.