Paying For Wedding Expenses

Who Pays For What

There aren’t any absolute rules as to who pays for what. Traditionally, wedding expenses have been taken care of by the bride’s family, with the groom responsible for the rings and the honeymoon.

While tradition is still an honored part of our heritage, financial obligations must often give way to everyday realities and compromise.

At the time of the wedding planning, both sets of parents, along with the engaged couple, should meet to discuss the financial arrangements. It is wise for each party to make any financial limits absolutely clear–to prevent misunderstandings or hard feelings at a later date after definite plans have been made.

If the parents of the groom are financially willing and able, they may offer at any time to pay part, half, or all of the wedding expenses. This is especially true if the groom's side has many more guests coming and/or if the bride's family and guests must incur travel expenses for a wedding held where the groom's family lives.

Costs should be allocated in order of priority of what is most important to the bride and groom. As a loose rule of thumb, reception food/drink is 50% of the total budget. Then photography 10%, flowers 10%, music 10%, dress, headpiece and veil 10%, misc (gifts, favors, fees, transportation, tips, etc.) 6%, and finally invitations 4%. These numbers can be adjusted based on your prioritites.

Below is a traditional list of who pays for what, but the final decision really depends on who is most willing and able to pay.

The Bride

1. Wedding ring for the groom (if it’s a double ring ceremony).
2. A wedding gift for the groom.
3. Presents for the bridal attendants.
4. Personal stationery.
5. Accommodations for her out-of-town attendants.
6. Physical examination and blood test.

The Groom

1. The bride’s rings.
2. Wedding gift for the bride.
3. The marriage license.
4. Gifts for the best man and ushers.
5. Flowers – bride’s bouquet and going-away corsage; corsages for mothers; boutonnieres for men in wedding party.
6. Accommodations for out-of-town users or best man.
7. His blood test.
8. Gloves, ties, or ascots for the men in the wedding party.
9. Fee for the clergyperson/judge.
10. The honeymoon.
11. Bachelor dinner (optional).

The Bride’s Family

1. The entire cost of the reception: rental of hall, if reception is not held at home; caterer; food (including wedding cake); beverages; gratuities for bartenders, waiters; decorations; music; flowers.
2. A wedding gift for the newlyweds.
3. The bride’s wedding attire/trousseau.
4. The wedding invitations, announcements, thank yous, napkins, etc., and mailing costs.
5. The fee for engagement and wedding photographs.
6. Ceremony – rental of sanctuary; fees for organist, soloist, or choir, etc.; aisle carpets; and any other costs for decorations.
7. Bridesmaids’ bouquets.
8. Gratuities for policeman directing traffic and/or parking.
9. Transportation for bridal party from the bride’s house to the wedding ceremony and from ceremony to the reception.
10. Bridesmaids’ luncheon.
11. Rehearsal dinner (optional).
12. Household furnishings for the bride and groom – from linens, china, silver, and crystal to furniture (optional).

The Groom’s Family

1. Clothes for the wedding.
2. Any traveling expenses and hotel bills they incur.
3. Wedding gift for the newlyweds.
4. Rehearsal dinner, or any other expenses they elect to assume (optional).

The Attendants

1. Their wedding clothes.
2. Any traveling expenses they incur.
3. Wedding gift for the newlyweds.

The Guests

1. Any traveling expenses and hotel bills they incur.
2. Wedding gift for the newlyweds.